This office needs a waffle maker

A waffle a day makes the... uh... something something something. On second thought, too many people might hang out back here with the waffler in residence. Screw that.

Here's another thought: I really need to start blogging more. And writing less bitchy posts. Or at least more non-bitchy posts so that all I post is not just bitchy posts.

Hmmm...

As I ponder the situation I come to the conclusion that I don't think I should stop the bitchy posts completely. I do so enjoy writing them.

But really, what else is there to write about?

Oh, lots. I know. But all the good stuff lately is written in my head before I ever get to a computer/notebook and then it never makes it up on the screen.

So until the good stuff happens I'm going to write about...

Hmmm...

Yeah. I got nothing this morning.

Oh! I'll write about this dream that weirded me out the other day. It wasn't one of those "wrap Tilda Swinton up in a blanket and beat her unconscious with a miniature silver shovel" type of weird.** I haven't had one of those super disturbing dreams in a while. This dream was one of those glitch-in-the-matrix dreams.

1) I'd been wondering for weeks now where some missing pants had sauntered off to...

2) Friday afternoon a thought popped into my head that they might be in the closet...

3) I file that thought away...

4) and then I have a dream that night that I found them exactly where I suspected them to be...

5) When I wake up the next day, the memory is in my head as an actual event, not a dream...

6) so while I'm looking for something else in a different part of my room and find my pants and think, 'what the hell, I'd already found them in the closet!'

Not exactly a premonition dream. But what are the odds that I find my missing pants after I find them in my dream?

Hmmmmmmmmm??????

Yeah, okay. I know that no one finds that as interesting as I do. I mentioned it to the HB and his sister later that day and got no reaction out of them whatsoever.

But I dreamed I found them in the closet then woke up and found them under my desk! Get it?!

Sigh.

Maybe I should just stick to bitchy posts.


** Okay, I just did a search through my posts and couldn't find anything about that Tilda Swinton dream. How did I never write about that?! It was fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. I mean, I was hitting her with a shovel! Really, really hard too. I can still see her looking up at me, all serene like, as I whacked her uncontrollably with my little shovel. Uggggh.

Why?

Why must people take it upon themselves to inform me that my face is sunburned.

Really? My face is sunburned? I hadn't noticed. Nope. No mirrors in my house. Or in my car. Oh! And you know what? I can't feel the heat radiating off of my face like a disco inferno. No way, Jose. And every time I touch my face the skin doesn't feel like it just wrestled with a giant tumbleweed. So thanks Fellow Coworkers for stating the fucking obvious. Because I obviously didn't know!

If you are curious as to why my face is a tomato, then please, by all means, inquire into it. I will tell you I had a fantastic time this weekend. But don't try and start the conversation off with a dumb ass remark. Because all you'll get is a smart ass remark in return.

Him: "Hey! You're face is sunburned."

Me: "Hmmm. I hadn't noticed."

Him: "You hadn't noticed?"

Me: "Noooooooooope."

Him: "Errrr..."

Me: "Hold on, I need to ignore you now and make a phone call."

I'm secluded in the back office and have only seen two people today. And both have made these brilliant observations. And now? I have to go to school. Where I'll be surrounded by people. Some of whom will be endowed with a keen sense of Must State The Obvious.

If only I had a biting comeback for all of them. Because really, after the first person let's you know you've got a sunburn, it gets really annoying really fast.

I need a t-shirt for just such an occasion. One that reads:

"My sunburn irritates me. You will too if you mention it."

But with more snarky attitude. And with a picture of a crazy lady with a gun or butter knife or something underneath so they know I mean business.

T H R E E - O H

Why is it, when I woke up at 6 am on tuesday I still felt sleepy, like I could fall back asleep in seconds and dream for another hour or two.

And today, a no-need-to-rush-to-work saturday, when I woke up at 6 am I was wide awake. Wide freakin awake. Without a chance in hell of falling back asleep. And no desire to even try.

What's up with that?

It probably has something to do with today being my birthday and having a super fun weekend ahead of me.

/peanutbutterjellybananadance

Yep. That's right. Today is my birthday! The big 3-0. I am now officially a thirty-something. Eeek!

I was all weirded out and shit as the day approached, leaving the twenties, entering a new decade of adulthoodedness, assessing where I am, where I'm going, yadda yadda yadda, some of the same stuff that bothered me the last two birthdays. One of the weirder 'holy shit' moments happened a few weeks ago when I realized that my mom had two children in elementary school when she was the age I am now. Or was. Or something.

As a kid she was always old to me. Not old, just mommy-adult-old. But I don't feel old. Definitely not mommy-adult-old. And yet she was this age once! So when I thought of her as 'older adult' she was actually young. Like I am. With two kids already!

I'm not sure if I adequately explained all that as I'm just riffing here, but I'm going to leave it unedited so I can have a laugh when I read it months/years later.

Anywhoo...

Today the boyfriend and I are driving down to San Diego for a book signing to see our favorite author Jim Butcher. Tomorrow we're going to the red bull air race.

Its a weekend of firsts!