Friday, December 29, 2006

I've been called worse...

Okay, so I'm at work, and I hear there is a tin of cookies in my mailbox.

Sweet sauce!

I usually dislike the trek through the plant to the front offices where my mailbox resides, the front offices being upstairs offices, which means I have to tango-two-step up the stairs where only a thin pane of plastic keeps me from falling to my doom on the plant floor, but doesn't keep everyone from seeing the attempt of course (I have issues with stairs, no?)

But this time? It was all about the cookies!

I put my cookie blinders on and made a very un-bee like beeline to the front of the building (there's a lot of stuff to walk around).

And lo and behold, a tin of cookies! Plus a free calendar from some credit union bank. Merry Belated Christmas to me. Guess I should check my mailbox more often.

Anywhoo, I grab my mail (mainly consisting of Here-Fix-My-Problems) and the Tin-O-Cookies (tm) and start heading back. Only I work in a place where you're not allowed to have food in non-office areas. And this Tin-O-Cookies (tm) was all gussied up in crinkly plastic with a silver curly bow on top. Not easily hidden.

This one time, I was hungry, and bought a tin of tuna and crackers from the vending machine (yes, vending tuna - I'm adventurous!) and had to hide the tin of tuna down my pants, (had it wedged between the tummy rolls and the undies' elasto-band - ingenous!) because putting the tin in my pockets looked like I was caring around a can of tobacco, another no-no here. Actually, it didn't work down the pants, looked like I had a growth on my coochie. I ended up wedging the can of tuna between the boobs and walked through the plant hoping no one noticed the vague impression of a third boob.

This time, the Tin-O-Cookies (tm), which is the same size tin of holiday butter cookies you see in any store, was waaaaaaay too big to fit down my pants or wedge between the boobs. Well, it could fit down the pants, I'd just look like a weird-ass hunchbackfront and that would draw too much attention. And it was too poofy to smuggle with the boobs.

So I had to be covert.

So I grabbed two reams of printer paper and wedged the Tin-O-Cookies (tm) between it and my boob and placed the mail on top, as the clear crinkly plastic was poking out in an annoying Look At Me I'm So Pretty And Crinkly fashion.

Covert like a ninja!

I made it back with no one stopping me. Probably could have worn my clothes inside out and had cookies sticking out my nose and no one would have stopped me, but its always good to play it safe.

Ninja style!

So anyways, I get back to my desk with my loot and Mr. Desk Neighbor wants to see what's inside. Cookies, duh, but he wanted to actually see the cookies, because he got a tin too and wants to know if its worth the effort to retrieve them.

So I start to unwrap the Tin-O-Cookies (tm)... Now, I'm not anal about unwrapping paper wrapped gifts. I don't need to make sure the paper doesn't get ripped and is reusuable. I also don't like to make too much of a mess of ripping it to shreds because I'm usually the one picking up the mess afterwards. But this time, with the crinkly plastic and the curly silver ribbon, I wanted to take my time. I already knew what was inside, so I was going to enjoy the process.

Work Procrastination at its finest.

And in the process, it irritated antsy Mr. Desk Neighbor to no end.

MDN: Do you want a pair of scissors?
ME: No.

He stands behind me while I continue to tug on the ribbon tied around the crinkled plastic. It's slow going, tugging it a centimeter at a time. Tough little bastard.

MDN: Do you want a knife?
ME: Nope.

I attack it from a different angle, pulling the crinkly paper out of the silver ribbon's death grip.

MDN: My god, you're dial-up!

I about busted up laughing over that one. One more pull though and I freed the cookies, liberating them in time to get in my bellllllaaaaay.

So now I've got coffee, butter cookies, while the computer plays a CD of Charlie Brown Christmas music my cousin in-law made for me.

~ Heaven ~

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Jingly Highlights

As Co-Worker Jack so kindly pointed out yesterday (before he *cough cough* called in sick a day after I suggested how awesome it would be if we called in sick *cough cough*) I've been depriving him of much blogging loon-y goodness.

'Tis a shame, as I'm sure all can agree.

So, as I sit here at my desk in the office all alone with no one to talk to and no one to hear me sing along with the Let's Only Play Christmas Songs radio station (which I'm so totally in the mood for now) or the I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas web site (which is best sung along with at the top of ones lungs) with a pile of work to do that I'd rather not be doing, I'm gonna type up a little Past Few Weeks Recap.

Hmmm... New Year's Resolution #1 just might be 'stop it with the annoyingly long sentences already!'

Anywhoo... on with the recap!

Went home for thanksgiving. (Sheesh, its been that long since I last posted!) Had much to be thankful for and all that blah blah blah warm mushiness.

Shopping at a mall on Black Thursday (day after turkey day) is fun when you're with family and friends, as long as one of those family members isn't your impatient grandmother who doesn't understand why the lines are so long and who flags down poor frazzled Denny's hostesses and demands coffee even though the friendly frazzled hostess said our friendly frazzled waiter would be there in just a moment with the damn drinks! (That scenario happened the year before, this year was grandma-free!)

Came back and finished the final projects for my two writing workshop classes. Got an A in the one class, have no idea yet what grade I'm getting in the other class. I'm pretty sure I'll get a passing grade, and sadly that's just fine and dandy with me right now.

Still haven't signed up for classes for Winter Quarter. Which... uh... start in less than two weeks. D'oh!

Some same-old-same-old's:
a) work continues to be busy and a major pain in my ass, which wouldn't be much of a problem if I wasn't getting less and less motivated to get it done
b) still addicted to a video game
c) still as broke as a spoke

Drove back up to my parent's house this last weekend for an All Girlfriend Xmas Bash. I <3 hanging out with my old high school girlfriends.

I also love "light bulb kisses".

Teaching a friend's kid a harmless yet potentially annoying bad habit is wrong. But fun.

Also fun? Emailing girlfriends at work about giving laundry elves as Christmas presents instead of doing work.

Well, that pretty much brings me up to today I guess, though I'm sure I'm forgetting something I should have mentioned. Hmmm....

Things to look forward to over the next few days:

Going to the mall with the HB tonight to finish up the Christmas shopping.

Starting a new book I've been dying to read (especially after hearing the HB ooh! and a-hah! like crazy while reading it these past few days),

Getting motivated to do some much needed laundry some time before Saturday.

Driving back up to my parent's house.
[ sarcasm ] Yay for holiday traffic! [ / sarcasm ]

Hanging with the girlfriends and the family again.

Mmmmm.... Is it Friday yet?