Monday, February 12, 2007

Dear Office Hotty

Alternate Title: An Open Letter To The Freaking Moron Who Keeps Turning On The Freaking Air Conditioner In The Middle Of Freaking JanuaryFebruary

Dear Moronic Office Worker,

I humbly request that you remove most, if not all, of your parkas, scarves, beanies, gloves, thermal sock cozies, etc. because obviously you are dying from heat. You poor thing.

I mean, why else would you be turning on the air conditioner in the middle of winter?

Yes, it doesn't feel like winter yet in SoCal. Yes, it was rather sunny and warm last week. And yes, even though the weather turned a bit colder over the weekend its still not cold enough to warrant major heater usage.

But you know what?

It's still freaking JanuaryFebruary so stop with the a/c use already! It's cold enough in here without the a/c. It doesn't need to be colder.

If you want cold, go to the mountains. I think I saw snow up there. Somewhere. When the smog cleared enough for me to see that there were actual mountains just a few miles away.

So please, for the love of all that is warm and fuzzy, stop turning on the a/c in my office.

I thank you. My fingers thank you. And my nipples thank you.

That is all.


On a brighter (if not warmer) note, Mr. Desk Neighbor brought in a CD of big band music and we're listening to it now. Sweet! Is there a better way to 'swing' through the first day back at work after the weekend (besides alcohol that is)? I think not.

Friday, February 09, 2007

*munch munch* mmmmm... dandelions... *munch munch*

Today is Day 5 of the Week Long Training Marathon From Hell.

Actually, it hasn't been that bad. Coworker Jack is an awesome teacher.

*blows the teacher an air kiss across the room and tries to earn brownie points*

He'd be just a bit better though if he learned how to keep his unruly students (i.e. everyone but me, of course) in line and keep them on topic so they stop whining about all of our problems that exist, that have existed for YEARS and will CONTINUE to exist even in this new work environment we're learning.

It's probably unavoidable, the whining, what with the never ending frustration with the way things run and the daunting task of having to learn new habits and work flows and a new computer system.

But still, I'm at the point where if one of these guys whines about so-and-so doing/not doing such-and-such and why doesn't Management do this or that I'm hitting them with my 500+ page training manual until they cry. Anything to keep us on topic so we're not here until 7 tonight.

I mean seriously, if they want to whine they should do it on their own time. They can get a blog and whine to someone who cares. :)

Mr Imaginary Blog Reader, you do care right? *sniffle*

The training was supposed to be 8 hours long, for a week straight. That was going to be bad enough, but when Monday showed up, and we (the three of us in my department) were busy learning how to do our new jobs instead of waiting on the edge of the diving board ready to dive through a series of flaming hoops, The Boss decided we should stay here for 12 hours and cram in a couple of hours to keep up with our normal work load.

If I'd known ahead of time, that would have been one thing - I'd been planning to come in an hour early and catch up a bit anyways - but to spring that on us at the last moment kind of sucks.

"By the way, instead of being here from 7:30am to 4:00pm you'll be coming in at 5:30am and leaving at 5:30pm. Starting today. Have a nice Monday!"

I'm used to long days anyways for school, but at least then the day is broken up between work and school. Being here at work, for 12 hours straight, (most of which is spent in a small room, full of heat generating computers, that the boss's boss didn't feel needed to be air conditioned!) is a drag. But after today its over!

And at least we'll be able to put our training to use right away while its all fresh in our heads and... oh wait, that's right, we won't even be using the new system until May.


I could go on and on about this, and I might later. I haven't had time to post any of my whinings because I've been busy trying to pay attention. (And when I don't post here I vent to the HB, poor guy, and get it all out of my system). But my mind has finally snapped. It broke the gate and is out wandering in the pasture, eating dandelions. So I might be posting more today. We'll see. Depends on if I run out of dandelions to munch on.

Friday, February 02, 2007

How I've Spent My Friday (So Far)

1. Woke up early (before the alarm! oh the injustice!) so I finished watching the tivo'd episode of Veronica Mars that was so lame it took awhile to watch because I had to watch it in 15 minute chunks of time so that the lameness didn't totally kill me. I used to <3 that show so much, but after the episodes so far this season, and seeing the clips for next week... I just don't think I know who you are any more Veronica. What happened? I thought we were going to be BFF's!!! I'm sorry to say this Veronica, but I think you need to go to Suckiness Therepy. Check yourself into an open 24 hour Suckiness Clinic. Let a doctor check that out for you. Please. Come back to me V!

2. Came to work. And then the inevitable happened. I did some work. I know, I know, but I couldn't help it. I tried to avoid it but I'm going to be in a week long 8hr-a-day training marathon next week so I didn't want my desk to get too messy with reminder notes.

3. Started a game of tag with some girlfriends via email. It didn't last very long, but soon the conversation turned to dodgeball. Which inspired the following brilliant piece of pixel artwork.

And yes, the caption/title needs some work. Something snappier.

4. Decided to eat some leftover pork ribs from a vendor sponsored lunch-apalooza two days ago. Only problem is there's no microwave back here. So I set it on the back end of my monitor. Have you ever felt the back of your computer monitor before? Bitch gets hot back there. But, apparently, not hot enough to heat cold leftovers. After a half hour of warming I moved it to the coffee pot burners. Tried that for about 2 minutes before I got bored - and hungry - and decided to eat it lukewarm. A temperature which lasted for maybe 3 minutes before it turned cold again. Sigh. My ghetto cooking skillz are not up to parr it seems.

5. Played on the internet. And read this post which gave me a huge case of the warm-n-fuzzies. Everyone could use a case or two of those right? Right. So go over to Fauve's site (which is called "... so I stabbed him in the head with a fork", one of the greatest blog title's I've ever seen and the main reason I ventured over there in the first place), read this post, then read her entire catalog of archives (not that many months worth, don't worry), and then read this post again. Instant warm fuzzies! Seriously.

6. [ Insert the rest of the evening here --- which will more than likely include playing video games with The HB and/or going out to dinner at Claim Jumpers. For which I have a $50 dollar gift certificate. Yeehaw! ]