Friday, April 30, 2004

Loonyville Song of the Day

Oh my goodness. I just found cartoon theme songs on the 'net. Lots and lots of them.

Dude. I think this may be my new favorite site.

Well, it would be if it weren't for all those damn pop up adds. But still, cartoon theme songs!!!!!!

You know, there was a time, when I was just a wee lass, when one of my missions in life was to memorize cartoon theme songs. And sing them at the start of each show. And at school. In class and during recess.

Here are some theme song lyrics I haven't sung in awhile. Well, except for the first one, which I sang just last week while watching an episode. :)

You know we got a mystery to solve, so Scooby-Doo be ready for your act....

Muppet Babies, we make our dreams come true...

Oh they got originality. Living with a split personality. We're the Wuzzles! Who yeah...

Yo Pound Puppies. And Puppy Power too!...

Gummi Bears! Bouncing here and there and everywhere. High adventures that's beyond compare...
(I love this theme song. It's soooooo much fun to sing. And such a happy song. Guuuuumi Beaaaaaars!)

Those theme songs can be heard here. And so can The Loonyville Song Of The Day...

In honor of the song that's currently on repeat on my little harry potter windows media player, I'd like to present to you The Loonyville Song of the Day:

::insert trumpet fanfare here::

Jem & The Holograms - The Theme Song!

Jem (Jem is excitement)
ooh Jem (Jem is adventure)
ooh (Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame)

Jem (Jem is Truly Outrageous)
(Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous)
Woah, Jem (Jem)
The music's contagious (Outrageous)
Jem is my name, no one else is the same
Jem is my name

But we're The Misfits, our songs are better
We are The Misfits, The Misfits
And we're gonna get her

Jem (Jem)
The music's contagious (Outrageous)
Jem is my name, no one else is the same
Jem is my name

Geez. I'm this close to turning 25 ("which is almost mid twenties") and I still get giddy over cartoon theme songs. So I guess that means I'm maturing at a healthy rate, eh? :)

10 on Tuesday Friday

Ten Great Cartoons from Your Childhood

  1. Jem - I loved this show. Because Jem was truly, TRULY outrageous. Made my very own 'Jem' earrings once, though I never managed to talk to Synergy with them. Bummer that.

  2. Rainbow Brite - I had a bunch of RB stuff. I remember playing 'Rainbow Brite' when I was 5 years old with a couple friends. Since I was the tallest one (even back then I was usually the tallest) I played the horse, Starlight. And I gave my friend's little sister a ride around the lawn. Ahhh. Good times :)

  3. Smurfs - just thinking about this show has put the damn theme song in my head. I think its stuck. Grrrrrr.

  4. She-Ra - a kick-ass chick. Rock on She-Ra!

  5. Thundercats - SNARF!

  6. Pound Puppies - I still have my pound puppy. He's very near and dear to my heart. Because he's the bestest Pound Puppy in the whole wide world.

  7. Scooby Doo - This cartoon is awesome - as long as that evil little pissant Scrappy isn't on. Whoever created him should be slapped silly. Then be locked in a soundproof room with a tape recorder that plays Scrappy's voice over and over and over again until the person apologies for ruining a perfectly good cartoon. Scrappy's creator(s) are either dead or really old by now, so this probably won't do any good. Dammit. But a girl can dream.

  8. Real Ghostbusters - this show was funny!

  9. Wuzzles - I don't remember anything about this cartoon, but I know I watched it all the time.

  10. Inspector Gadget - go go gadget fancy gizmo! Did Gadget ever give Penny the props she deserved? She saved his ass over and over again. Go Penny!

I can also remember watching: Voltron, Care Bears, The Snorks, Muppet Babies, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Gummi Bears... and can remember a lot of the theme songs too. Love those 80's cartoons!

the potty mouth is gone... for now

I was wrong yesterday. I'm not getting punished for ditching yesterday's MEETING (which I heard was one of the most boring ones yet.) Turns out everyone in my department has to go to the meeting today. Doesn't matter what shift you're on - first, second, third - everyone in my department has to show up at 3 this afternoon (if the HEAD HONCHO can track everyone down in time and tell them about it - which is really weird, considering that he's doing it, and not one of his peons... strange.)

So I don't feel so bad about going. Sure, it sucks to have to stick around, on a friday, but at least I'm not alone. People who leave earlier than I do have to stay as well and suffer with me. Mwhahahahahahaha!

Have no idea what the meeting is about. But a little birdie here in the office thinks some major shit might be going down. Yikes. Can't wait until 3! Wheeee!

"I've got my happy face on today Les," - Shirley, Strictly Ballroom

Thursday, April 29, 2004


Translation: fuck shit bitch goddamn fucking fuck fuck!!!!!!!

Here at WORK we have these semi monthly 'how the company is doing' MEETINGS. They are BORING AS SHIT. Since there are a lot of us the meetings are broken up into three groups. Everyone has to (as in MANDATORY) attend the MEETINGS, preferably during their assigned time slot, and sign in on the little SIGN IN SHEET. I missed a meeting once, a year or so ago, and afterwards my Then Boss (who no longer works here) came up to me and said, 'hey, I'd really like you to go to the next MEETING. Mmm 'K?' His tone, body language, and beady little eyeballs said something else: you WILL attend OR ELSE!

The OR ELSE was something like a write-up. A note on my record. A slap on the 'wrist'. Nothing major, but nothing I wanted to mess with. Because I need steady income to feed my book and french fry and DSL addictions. So I attended the following BORING AS SHIT MEETINGS.

I've been a good girl about it too. Been to every single once since.

Until today.

Today I learned from an officemate that there were MEETINGS scheduled for today. I thought to myself, 'Damn. That sucks.' Then I thought, 'hey! I'm not going to go this time!'

I played Rebel with a Lame Ass Cause today. Little Miss 'I Go To All The MEETINGS Like A Good Little Employee' wasn't going to sit through a BORING AS SHIT MEETING today. No Siree! I was going to rebel. Go me!

And I did. Rebel that is. And I LOVED IT.

Until about fifteen minutes ago.

I heard the office door behind me open, turned around to see who it was, and found none other than the HEAD HONCHO of the whole damn facility standing there, along with some other guy high up on the employee food chain. And in the HEAD HONCHO's hand was today's SIGN IN SHEET.

Yeah. That's right. Uh oh!

They asked why I wasn't at the meeting. They were actually going around the building, tracking down people who hadn't attended the MEETING. They have NEVER done that before. NEVER. But the one day I decide to ditch they come and hunt me down. Bastards. There must have been a lot of people absent today, causing the HEAD HONCHO to get his panties in a twist.

So I feign ignorance. Shock. Surprise. "There was a meeting today?" Gasp. Who knew?!

(I pronounced it MATING, like I suddenly slipped into a southern accent for a moment. A one-word moment. Could I have looked like more of a dumbass? Totally rhetorical question there folks. No need to point out examples.)

There was a bit of joking. Ha ha. Ha ha. Then the HEAD HONCHO, with really freaking looking eyes...They was like, oh I don't know, there was no color to them. They were a fuzzy gray color. Very disconcerting. I had trouble looking at him in the eye without staring at his freaky colored eyeballs. And he kept staring at me strangely, like he was trying to remember if he'd ever seen me before. It was unnerving, but maybe that was just because it was the HEAD HONCHO and... wait, where was I? Oh yeah... Then the HEAD HONCHO says to me...

HH: Are you going to be here tomorrow?
Me: Uh... *feeling slightly apprehensive* ...yeah.
HH: Can you be upstairs at 3?
Me: Uhhhhhh.... *thinking NOOOOOO!!!!* ...yeah. But I'm supposed to leave at 2:30
HH: Well, can you stay until 4:30?
Me: *wishing I could say no, but knowing I can't, so I try to sound perky* Sure!!

I was puzzled at first. Did he want to have a meeting with me? And tell me what a bad employee I was for not attending his boring meeting? So I asked if there were more MEETINGS tomorrow. HEAD HONCHO said no, then mentioned something about Process Improvement Blah Blah Blah. So its not another BORING AS SHIT MEETING I have to attend. But it's almost as bad. I have to go upstairs, sit with a bunch of fellow employees, and listen to them bitch and complain about problems to the HIGH FOOD CHAIN GUY so that the COMPANY can fix them. All to make the COMPANY run smoother. Input from those in 'the field'.

At least that's what I think I'm going up there for. I heard the HEAD HONCHO out in the hallway 'inviting' others to the 3 o'clock thing.


I try and do a little bit of rebelling and look what happens. ::sigh::

I called up the HB and bitched to him about it. He said that's why good people like me don't do bad things. Because we know it will bite us in the ass. Then he laughed. The bastard. I asked him how he does, how he gets away with things. He said its 'cause he's got 'mad skillz'. Something I am seriously lacking in. Something that hasn't rubbed off on me in the 6+ years we've been together. Damn it.

I'm thinking about going in two hours later than usual. Since I'll be stuck 2 WHOLE FREAKING HOURS later than usual. ::sob:: Or maybe I'll sit and stew and soak up the overtime. Yeah. That sounds like a better idea.


3 questions

first question: why is the word 'blog' not in this blog's spell checker?

does that make sense? its a BLOG. so i might write the word BLOG in an entry. not a totally out there idea. so its not a misspelled word! yeah, okay, 'blog' is not a REAL word, just a MADE-UP word. but so what? is my made-up friend any less real just because no one else believes in him and the doctor says he's just a figment of my imagination but he's real dammit he's REAL!

bet Blogger Spell Checker ignores Mr. Bunnysnuffles just like everyone else does.

::blows raspberries at Blogger Spell Checker::

second questions: why the fuck doesn't the blog spell checker recognize 'fuck' as a word?

its just another word getting snubbed by the MAN. the Spell Checker MAN. what the fuck is up with that?

third question: why are the first two questions bothering me so much this morning that i felt the need to exercise the demons with a blog post?


i spent most of yesterday's workday 'ALT+TAB'ing between work stuff and 'paint'. i had to ALT+TAB whenever someone came into the office, which was highly annoying, because i not many people here would appreciate my need to do artsy stuff instead of work stuff. silly people. so with all the switcheroo-ing i didn't get my new banner done until this morning (while there's less office traffic.) you might have noticed the new title (look up) on your way to this post. if not, you're either reading this on some fancy rss/xml/feed thingy or... dude, you blind! i guess there's always the option that i fucked up somewhere and didn't do something right, but that's just an ABSURD idea, (me, fuck up? pfshaw!) so that option automatically gets canceled out of the Realm Of Possibilites.

so yeah. big colorful title. i really wish i had some fancy drawing program on my 'puter at home. then i could draw a super cool logo for myself. for now, i shall settle with the above. and go draw more smilie faces. and figure out ways to infest the blog with them. mwhahahahahahaaaa.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

office temperature update

its back to being cold in here. not igloo cold as it sometimes can be, how my officemates like it to be, but i'm sure it'll get that low eventually. but for now, its just blissfully cool in here. yay!

Come on everybody! Do the Happy Banana Dance with me!

Week 7 - Stop me if you've heard this one...

1. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian of all time?

Robin Williams. I've seen him perform his stand-up in person and it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen/heard. I haven't laughed so hard at anything before or since then.

2. Which one could you do without? (Not your type of humor, or just plain stupid!)

Well, picking from the top of the 100 Greatest Standups of all Time list, I'd pick Chris Rock. I just don't find him all that funny. And he ranked #5? Bleah. I really never found Sam Kinison funny either and he's ranked at #20. Bleah squared.

Oh! I just thought of another one! I'd tried to forget about him, but he's still in my head, telling horribly unfunny jokes. Dat Phan, so called 'winner' of the Last Comic Standing. I thought he was the unfunniest one of the bunch. And he ends up winning. Stupid voters. Bleah to the ninth power!!!!!!

3. Which comedian do you think has gone on to have a great career aside from doing stand-up?

Uh... lots have. Any comedian that turned their act into a successful tv show has gone on to have a great career. Or at least bigger career than they had before.

~Bonus~ If you went to a comedy club on amateur night, and they gave you some jokes and a microphone, would you go onstage?

I might, depending on the circumstances. Like, if I were drunk enough. Or egged on enough by a couple of 'kind' friends. Stuff like that. :) If I did get up I wouldn't take it seriously, because if I tried to be funny on purpose I'd fail miserably and be horribly mortified. 1) because I'm a horrible joke teller. People only laugh at my jokes because they're laughing at how horrible the delivery was and 2) I get tongue tied when I try and speak in front of people. No matter if its 30 people or just 3 people. It's damn annoying let me tell you. My brain works so super fast, because it's a mega super genius brain, and my mouth has trouble keeping up.

But despite the bad-joke-telling-gene and the tongue-tied-mush-talk I could easily be persuaded to go up on stage and make a fool out of myself. Sounds like fun. :)

Monday, April 26, 2004

i'm mellllllltinggggggg! i'm melllllltinggggggg!

seriously folks. i'm melting. no impersonation of the wicked witch here. i'm FREAKING MELTING.

earlier it was sort of warm in the office, or so the others (i.e.: silly men) thought. they tried to turn the temp down, but the thermostat thingy was stuck. something was wonky with it. so they, thinking they have found The Almighty Solution, tried to switch this thingy with the thingy from another office. but it didn't work. in fact, it made things worse. somehow they made the heater turn on. yes, THE HEATER! we have the FREAKING HEATER on during one of the hottest days we've had here in awhile. It's 95 degrees outside. and 87 degrees inside!!! GAH!!!

it took them awhile to realize the heater was on. when they realized this, they turned it off - or thought they did - and couldn't understand why the temp kept rising. ::shakes head:: its off now. but the air conditioner still doesn't work. so the temp in here will be stuck at 87 degrees for the next hour or so. which is how long i still have to be here. :(

i'm thinking about sitting in my car for a few minutes with the air on full blast. for about 45 minutes. i can come back in when its time to clock out. yeah. that sounds like a good plan. because any idea of doing any more work here today is completely shot. because its too damn hot. my brain cells are gooing. i can't focus... don't want to move around to much... makes me too hot... can only afford small keyboard typing movements in order to bitch and complain about the stupid temp. :)

update: holy sweat stains batman! the air conditioner repair man is here! the guy who called him said he wouldn't be able to come out until tomorrow. but he's here! (with just minutes to spare since i'll be out of here soon. where was he an hour ago?) but wait... what's that? is that cool air i feel on my warm clammy skin? why, yes! i think it is! (if it isn't, then i'm seriously confused.) cool air. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

update to the update: its not getting cool in here. that coolness i felt was just the room dropping two degrees down to a nice and warm 85. the hallway is cooler, and is therefore cooling down this room a bit. but not enough. a/c guy says he can't fix it. but someone will be buy in the morning with the right parts. ::sigh:: hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow. if not, i'll be taking the day off. :)

blog salon date

my blog wasn't in much of a blogging mood last week. yeah. that's it. i'm blaming the blog. it is her fault though. we played a round of the Blame Game and she lost.

but the blog had a good reason for not wanting to post much. it was in a pretty big funked out mood. mainly because the blog's been jones-in for a new look. nothing as drastic as a face lift. or a whole facial template rearrangement. it just wanted a quick dye job.

so that's what i gave it this morning. its not much, nothing really fancy, but boy does it feel better. and spunkier. it might even get a column pierced or something. that's how invigorated the blog now feels.

the color probably won't last very long. (unless i get lazy and don't want to change anything). i had wanted to dye it purple. or pink even. because that'd be something different. but the blog hasn't been this particular green before so its all good. i really like this green. its cool. and it reminds me of may. i was going to wait until it actually was may, but me and the blog felt like celebrating the month early. yay may! :)

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

that explains it!

Quiz Me
loon was
an Absent-Minded Hair Stylist
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

what it explains about me i have no idea. but i'm sure it explains something. :)

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

10 on tues

Ten Things You Want To Do Before You Die

  1. tour Europe. extensively.
  2. graduate
  3. find my purpose in life
  4. see a broadway play
  5. watch an earthling land on mars
  6. see if Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes taste as good as I've heard
  7. have a novel published
  8. find out who really shot JFK
  9. complete my collection of Ellery Queen books
  10. reach at least a semi-enlightened state

i'm the pink pie wedge queen!

If I ever find myself competing in some Miss 'Look At Me I'm Prettier Than You Are' beauty pageant I know what I'm doing for the talent portion of the competition. I'm going for the pink pie wedge! Well. Okay. Not really. But I doubt I'll ever have to come up with a better talent.

Last night my mom called me for help. Because she'd been called upon for help herself. See, some friends of my aunt and uncle are visiting them down in florida. They were sitting around, talking and drinking, drinking and talking, and the topic got around to a particular actor. A particular actor whose name eluded them in their semi-inebriated state. They became obsessed with finding out this name, so they called my mom. Because she's good in a pinch like that. :) My mom told me last night that my aunt, her sister, has called her at the strangest times with Hollywood flavored trivia questions. In the past, my aunt has had brain fart moments and has said, 'let's call my sister! She'll know the answer!' And my mom always did. So she became my aunt's 'Go To Entertainment Trivia Girl'.

So last night my mom gets the call. My aunt describes an actor to my mom and asks, 'what the hell is his name?!' My mom knew exactly who they were talking about. But blanked on the name. It was riiiiiiiiight there on the tip of her tongue (don't you just hate when that happens?) but the name eluded her as well. So she called me. Because I'm her 'Go To' girl (aka Last Resort Girl. Heh.)

*phone rings*
Me: hello?
Mom: I've got a strange question to ask. I need to know a particular actor's name.
Me: oooookaaaaaay
Mom: *proceeds to tell me about my aunt's 'predicament', which has become her predicament*
Me: *chuckles*
Mom: okay. have you seen any Steve Martini movies?
Me: he writes books doesn't he?
Mom: yeah. but some of them have been made into movies.
Me: uh... I don't think I've seen any...
Mom: have you heard of Paul Madriani? ((the character in the steve martini movie the actor had played))
Me: nope. Doesn't ring a bell.
Mom: oh. Well,...

My mom was drawing a blank on this guy's other acting gigs, in a case of under-pressure-mind-blankness, so she tried to describe the actor to me. I can't remember exactly what she said, but as soon as she said 'barrel chested' an image popped into my head.

Me: is it Brian Dennehy?

My mom thanked me profusely. It was going to bug her all night until she remembered his name. I saved her from the torment. Go me!

Mom: you da man!
Me: *thinking I should tell my mom not to use that phrase because 1) I'm not a man and 2) she sounds really dorky saying it*
Me: *decides on the more appropriate* yeah yeah. I know. I'm awesome.

We hung up then so she could relay the information to my aunt and her friend on the other side of the continent. Ten minutes later my mom called me back to tell me that I was now 'on call.' If my aunt ever needed a trivia question of that caliber answered she was now going to call me directly. I doubt it, because even though my mom is 'getting older and more forgetful' (her words! I'm not dissing the mommy here!) she still knows a heck of a lot more than I do. But we still had a good laugh over it.

So yeah. Its good to know I'm useful for something. :) Now if only I could turn my cache of useless knowledge and speedy-trivia-accessing mind into a lucrative career...

Friday, April 16, 2004

loon's poetry corner

I found this new site that says its "a screamingly fun meme for those who love to rhyme."

Screamingly fun? Sounds... er... fun. Because I love to rhyme. Well, I like it more than I'd like eating a lime. And it sure is a lot more fun that exfoliating bathtub grime. I just need to find the time to rhyme. No time to rhyme is a crime! But today I have time. And have written a poem that is sublime!

Well, it's not really. It's not even in the same zip code as sublime. It's not even a disowned distant cousin thrice removed from sublime. I just got carried away with the rhymes there for a minute. Does anyone have a peanut?


for Bout 1: A Simple Pair of Quatrains you are given a list of words you have to rhyme (they are the last words in each line of the poem). After much struggling here's what I finally came up with. But please, I must ask you, please refrain from clapping until after the poem is over. Thank you.

Hugely Hung Henry walked into a bar
Sat down at a table and picked up a plume
He sang as he strummed his feather guitar
The patrons started to fume

The bartender cried, "What is this tripe?"
Henry smiled and sang out his credo:
"If ever you find out that your talents aren't ripe
Make sure you're packing between your legs a torpedo!"

And since that was such wonderful, powerful, moving, poignant crappage, I think I'll try my hand at the second Bout. HeeHee!

Thursday, April 15, 2004

more self-portraits

I found this 'make a face' site a while back. I love playing around with these kind of sites, and love making fake pictures of myself that are semi-depressingly so much cuter looking than actual pictures of me. So... uh... yeah. Here's me...

In case you are wondering... yes, that's a Bajoran earring I'm wearing on the right side. And yes, I uh... I really have one of those. Though I haven't worn it in years. (not since Star Trek: The Next Generation ran out of new episodes.) Not only was I geeky enough to own one, I was geeky enough to make it myself! I used to be really arts and crafts-y. Besides, I couldn't find any real Bajoran jewelry anywhere, so what else was I supposed to do? ::insert geeky smile here::

Here's me in my Sydney 'Alias' Bristow/ La Femme Nikita (tv show) hybrid crime fighting look.

The hair alone is a powerful crime fighting tool. Don't mess with me punk or I'll bitch slap you with my ponytail. My Power Ponytail of Mass De-Whomp Ass-struction! ::insert heroic champion bugle sounds here::

And here is a picture of Zoink's good friend and my alter ego, Kreeble...

I'm a pretty bad ass looking alien if I do say so myself. Heh.

Okay. Last one and then I'm done (for now - this site rocks the cat socks!). Here's Midge, my finicky muse...

At least that's what she looks like today, because she's always changing her hair color. Just like her favorite television character of all time Mrs. Slocombe from one of the funniest shows of all time, Are You Being Served?

and a side order of giggles to go please

Just got back from break. I went on a Dr. Pepper run (not just so's I'd have an excuse for the wacky mood mentioned in the previous post) and picked up some smokes for Mr. Funny Guy, my Desk Neighbor, while I was at it. I also bought him a cheeseburger and fries. He gave me a twenty dollar bill, and I returned with change, sans shipping and handling charges. He offered to tip me, and I almost accepted, but he's picked me up a few Dr. P's during his store runs and I've never tipped him, so I declined. He was really grateful for the smokes though, as smokers without smokes tend to be once they're in the smokes again, and offered to pay for my travel time with a candy bar instead. It had caramel in it. I accepted.

"I'm trying to go on a diet," he says between bites of greasy french fries. "I want to get down to my original weight."

I wonder for a second much he wants to loose, because he is by no means a fatty man.

"Yep," he continues saying. "8 pounds, 2 ounces."

It took me a second to get it, but then I was hopelessly consumed by the giggles. Original weight. Hehehehehehe.

i'd like to buy an excuse for 200 please alex.

A few minutes ago, someone in the office here was talking on the phone to someone else about something or other, I'm not sure what. (I'm great with the specifics, eh?) The Office Someone said something along the lines of 'outstanding in the field.' This phrase must have tickled the fancy of Mr. Funny, my Desk Neighbor (where exactly is the fancy located?), because he turned to me and, in mock appreciation, said to me:

"You are outstanding in the field."

In which I replied:

"Why am I out standing in a field? Where is this field? And why am I standing? Can't I be sitting? I like sitting. I'm closer to the flowers that way."

My Desk Neighbor blinked. Then semi chuckled and said something like, "You haven't by any chance had 10 cups of coffee this morning?"

I didn't have a drop of caffeine in me. I'm just weird this morning for absolutely no reason. Which means the rest of the day should be fun. Wheeeeeeeee!

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

i wouldn't want to live in the fast lane. i'm sure some cop would give me ticket for blocking traffic. which would suck!

I was hard at "work" when I noticed I'd been singing a song in my head for the last minutes or so. Well, just the chorus part (sung by KC and JoJo) really. I don't know the words to the rap part (by 2pac.) How long it was stuck on replay before it came to my attention, I have no idea. It's strange, because I haven't heard this song in ages...

how do you want it
how do you feel
comin' up as a nigga in the cash game
livin' in the fast lane
i'm for real

Someone in the office here must have ask someone else 'how do you want it?' and while most of my brain ignored these words, a small part of my brain registered them. And a little light started to flash. "Song lyrics!" the flashing said. "That's a song lyric!" Then the jukebox part of my brain took over from there and played the corresponding song for me. Over and over again. Driving me nutters.

The least it could do is play a song in my head that I know most of the lyrics to. I hate getting a song stuck in my head where I only know one or two of the lines. I guess I should be thankful that I at least know the whole chorus of this song. I'd be major nutters if all I was stuck humming the words I didn't know. 'hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm I'm for real'

Mission of the Moment: to find another song for my brain dj to play.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

1. Is there a game show (past or present) you think you would do really well on, as a contestant?

My mom and I had a conversation once about how we'd kick ass on the game show Hollywood Showdown (don't think it's on any more. Bummer, that.) I think I'd do really well on that show because I know lots of useless Hollywood trivia. Well, enough that I knew almost all the answers to the questions asked on that show. Except the really hard ones in the final round - I didn't know as much of those. If I went on that show I'd know almost all of the answers, but I don't know if I'd be fast enough on the buzzer. The buzzer would be my downfall. So on second thought, I don't know if I'd do really well on that show...

But on Card Sharks, I'd totally kick ass. No buzzers to buzz in with! I'm good at guessing the percentages on that show, even though the survey questions were asked during the late 70's/early 80's. And I'd know when to hold 'em. Know when to freeze 'em. Know when to go all the way. That other contestant would be bowing to my mad Card Shark-ing skills in no time.

2. Is there a game show you think is the stupidest thing you've ever seen?

Friend or Foe. You go on that show and pick a partner. Someone you haven't met before. Then the two of you play a little game. First, you try and convince the other person that you're going to pick 'friend'. "Come on dude. You can trust me. Let's both walk away with the money." Then you try and size up their trustworthiness in a matter of seconds. After that, you secretly pick between 'friend' and 'foe' while the other guy secretly makes his picks. All electronically of course. Then there's the big reveal. If you both pick 'friend' you both walk away with the money. Yipee for you both. If one of you picks 'friend' and the other one picks 'foe' the bastard who picks 'foe' gets ALL OF THE MONEY and screws the nice, trustworthy guy who picked 'friend'. If both of you want to try and screw the other guy and both of you pick 'foe', you both walk away with nothing.

And that is the whole damn show. It's incredibly stupid. Though it is kind of fun to try and guess which option the contestants will choose. "Look at her! She's too shifty. She's not sincere. She's going foe. Can't you see that man! She's going foe! Don't pick friend!" Then a minute later you see the guy looking either pissed off or shocked. Or both. And the girl is all happy that she's getting money for doing absolutely nothing except pick the contest she could trick into picking friend.

I should go on that show. I look sweet and innocent enough. You'd look at me and think 'of course she'll go friend!' And I'd be looking at you, all angelic like, but in my head I'd be thinking 'do it. that would be your downfall my friend. Because I'm gonna foe your ass!'

3. Is there a game show you watch, but don't like to admit to watching? (A guilty pleasure!)

Not really. I'd admit to watching anything. (Even Friend or Foe.) There's no room for shame in my tv viewing!
(Which in itself I guess is pretty shameful. Heh.)

~Bonus~ Who is your favorite game show host? Who is your least favorite?

I really enjoyed Greg Fitzsimmons on that short-lived MTV game show, Idiot Savants. And I really enjoy Clive Anderson (original What's My Line?). He'd kick Drew Carey's ass in game show hosting any day. And I enjoy watching Bert Convey (TattleTales), Gene Rayburn (Match Game) and Chuck Woolery (Lingo) and Summer Sanders (Figure it Out). It'd be hard to pick a favorite of those.

The 'least' favorite is easy. I can't stand Mark L. Walberg (Russian Roulette.) He bugs me. I don't know what it is, but there's something about the way he delivers his lines or the way he tries to be funny or... I don't know. He's just buggy.

Monday, April 12, 2004

this took forever to do. it took so long that all my energy was used up typing and nothing was left to think of a semi decent title for this post.

Found at QuirkyChick's site

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:

"Goddammit, we're profitable! We're not sinking. Where..." - from Phoenix Rising by John J. Nance

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?

My Roswell television soundtrack CD.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The latest episode of the Real World/Road Rules Inferno challenge on MTV. And Katie won! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I also watched the previous episode right before just so I could once again hear Coral say, "I don't wrestle. I beat bitches up."
I just can't get enough of that damn Inferno drama! :)

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

John Stewart on the Daily Show.

When did you last step outside?

I last stepped outside about five hours ago. But about two hours ago I hopped into my invisible plane, flew outside and patrolled the neighborhood for bad guys.

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?

my email

What are you wearing?

an Atlanta Braves t-shirt and undies

Did you dream last night?

Probably, but I don't remember any of it.

When did you last laugh?

A few minutes ago

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Not much. To quote QuirkyChick, who's blog I found this on, "We'll probably bother with hanging pictures about a month before we move." Heh. That about sums up the HB's and my decorating style. :)

I'm in the dining room (i.e. computer room) / living room. Directly to my right there's a piece of paper taped to the wall that's a 'we'd like to offer you the position of...' that the HB got from his current employers when they wanted to hire him. The HB used it for target practice once so there's a big pink paintball stain covering one of the corners. That touch of pink just lightens up the entire room. :) On another wall are two of the HB's fraternity things. I've got nothing hanging up in here, but made up for it by hanging a bunch of Snoopy stuff in the bedroom. Heh heh heh.

Seen anything weird lately?

Yep. Last time I looked in the mirror.
When I saw the sunglasses, purple jumpsuit wearing, fairy-winged hippo fly behind me in the bathroom mirror I thought to myself, "Damn, that was weird."

What do you think of this quiz?


What is the last movie you saw?

Something's Got To Give - Cute but kind of dragged at the end. Keanu was more cute than annoying in this, which was a nice surprise.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

A reality check. And when that came back positive... the very first thing I'd buy is the most expensive bottle of champagne I can find. My mom says that's what she'd do, and it sounds like a pretty damn good idea to me. Then I'd sit back and relax and figure out all the big purchases at my leisure. While sipping my bubbly.

Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I've never met a lima bean I've liked.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

For every bad thing you do to someone you have to do something twice as nice. If you don't, then you will suffer the most embarrassing scenario your imagination can think of, something so horribly embarrassing it gives you the heebee jeebee shivers just thinking about it.

Do you like to dance?

I loooooove to dance. I can't do it very well but that doesn't make me love it any less. I just love getting my groove thing on. And about as uncool as that sounded, is about as cool as I look when I'm dancing. :)

George Bush is he a power-crazy nut case or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?:

Hmm... eenie... meenie... minie... A

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?


Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?


Would you ever consider living abroad?

Well, I have before. Many moons ago. I wouldn't mind doing it again, as long as it wasn't a permanent move.

Mad Morning Dash recap

I try not to say this often, especially when he's within earshot, but the HB was right.

Lately we've been waking up at the same time every weekday. The alarm hollers like a rooster on a bad acid trip and the HB rolls over and turns it off. That's the signal for me to get up and do my morning thing. And for him to go back to sleep for twenty more minutes. I hate that, watching him snuggle back under the covers while I have to get up and join the waking world. It sucks.

Last night he said he didn't have to go into work so early. He warned me, saying that as soon as he hit the alarm he was going back to sleep for two more hours (lucky bastard) and that he wouldn't be awake to make sure I was awake (which he has to do sometimes because I ignore the need to go to work (and the more immediate need to pee) and try and cop a few minutes of warm cover snuggle time, and sometimes I fall back asleep.)

I told him 'no problem, I'll be awake.' If I weren't half asleep at the time I would have realized that I should have traded him sides, on the off chance that that would guarantee me waking up (he's designated alarm-turner-offer because I sometimes tend to turn the bloody thing off in my sleep). I should have realized that I wouldn't be at my most alertness this morning with less than five hours of sleep behind me (the reason why I was up so late is a gross tale of some Evil Devil Food that did not agree with me so I won't go into that any further). I should have realized all of this, but I didn't.

I normally wake up at 5:00 am. And roll out of bed a couple of minutes later. Then I spend the next twenty minutes or so getting ready. I try to leave my apartment around 5:30 to allow time for traffic accidents and stupid drivers and such and usually end up at work a few minutes before 6:00.

So guess what time it was when I woke up this morning.

5:34 am

Yeah. Holy crap is right! Seeing that time displayed on the alarm clock was better than coffee at waking me up. After the HB (who luckily is a light sleeper and was worried I wouldn't wake up so he woke up and..) woke me up and said 'hey, you're late' I looked at the clock, realized I should be making my way out to my car at this point in the morning, and shot out of bed like my panties were on fire. I dressed quickly, brushed my teeth like I was six years old and in a hurry to watch Saturday morning cartoons, and ran out the door zipping up my pants. And, in all the madness, I still remembered to put on deodorant! Go me!

I got to work safe and sound, and I swear I didn't speed more than I normally do, and managed to clock in at 5:59 am. I think I'm ready to try for my Mad Morning Dash Loony Scout badge. During test time, though, I'd get marked down for not grabbing something to eat for lunch. D'oh! No lunch for me today. Darn it. Though maybe I still have some gum in my purse...

Sunday, April 11, 2004

excuse me a moment while i try and erase the last few minutes of my life

I thought that watching the 'Nick and Jessica Variety Hour' would be like watching a train wreck. Or something just as horrible. I wish the show turns out to be a success, truly I do. But still, before I turned on the tv tonight I couldn't help thinking 'oh this could go very wrong.'

I thought it, but it wasn't enough to scare me away. I was curious. So a few minutes ago I flipped over to the Variety Hour show to check things out. And was only able to watch for about twenty seconds. If that.

I mean, I like Nick Lachey. He's a cutie. And he seems like a nice guy. But holy crap! I just saw him singing to KITT! And KITT was singing back! Nick was singing a duet with a talking car!!! Oh the horror! I only watched about twenty seconds of the show but I think I'm scarred for life.

Can't believe they bumped my alias back an hour for that… that… [insert really good word that conveys all that is wrong and evil about what I just witnessed on the tv here].

That sounds kind of harsh, don't it? Oh well. Heh.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Boxing:: day
  2. Lewis:: Black - (this guy cracks me up!)
  3. Bodyguard:: Kevin Costner - (and speaking of cracks... ::robin hood waterfall scene flashes across mind::)
  4. Burnout:: tired
  5. Cruising:: driving - (or, to be more specific: driving up and down hollywood boulevard trying to spot tom cruise buying cheap 2 inch oscar statuette souvenir for future questionable activities)
  6. Easter:: bunny
  7. AA:: battery - (a cousin talked me into sticking a 9v on my tongue once. i don't recommend it. mean boy cousins! in my defense, i'd like to state that i was only 8 years old at the time and had no idea what would happen. maybe i was 9. but no older!)
  8. Research:: library
  9. Redemption:: seems like a good movie title for some reason
  10. Snickers:: yummy candy bar

Saturday, April 10, 2004

sing it granny!

turns out what the cold germs holding me hostage wanted most was sleep. lots and lots of sleep. way more sleep than i normally get. once i'm awake, after a decent amount of hours in snooze mode, i can't fall back asleep (something the HB can do almost at will, the lucky bastard). but friday morning i would wake up, check the time, think to myself, 'holy crap its late!', then fall back asleep for another hour or so. good stuff, that. :)

so that's what i did most of friday. i didn't sleep all day though. because eventually i got hungry enough to wake up for good. once we ate, the HB and i went out to the movie theater. when we got back, i laid in bed and read my book until my eyeballs couldn't take any more strain (which wasn't long since one of the cold symptoms i have is feels-like-inside-of-eyeball-cavity-is-lined-with-sandpaper itchy irritation). while i read, the HB played dj, serenading me with a bunch of songs he was downloading onto the computer. do i know how to have a kick ass friday or what? heh.

speaking of serenading... the other day someone found their way to my site because they were looking for the website for the granny singing do your boobs hang low. unfortunately, their google search didn't offer up much choices. did the searcher want the lyrics to the song? or were they actually looking for a granny singing that song? heh. that'd be a hoot. seeing some granny singing 'do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro...'

the first time i heard that song i was in the fifth grade. and it wasn't the 'boobs' version. or the 'ears' version. it was the 'balls' version. and it was right after sex ed class. the girls of the fifth grade classes met in one classroom. the boys in another. after the sex ed session we wondered back to our appropriate classrooms. after one particular sex ed class (after we'd learned a bit about male anatomy) a group of us girls were walking back to our classroom when we met up with some of our boy classmates. then one of the girls (a prime A bitch-in-training) started to serenaded the boys by singing 'do your balls hang low/do they wobble to and fro/can you tie them in a knot/can you tie them in a bow...' and she sang it loud enough for everyone in the hallway to hear. poor boys. must have been embarrassing. especially if they had wobbly, bow tied balls. :)

Thursday, April 08, 2004

no snot germs gonna hold me down, oh no, i've got to keep on dancing...

i've now got that 'Break My Stride' song stuck in my head. drats and darn it!

on top of all that i've got a cold. and having a cold sucks donkey nuggets. my eyes are all itchy. snot is flowing everywhere. my sinuses are threatening to burst. normal, crappy cold symptoms. i think i read somewhere that the flu season was over. so hopefully my cold stays cold and goes away soon. very soon.

because the germs are holding my higher reasoning brain cells hostage. and they haven't issued damands yet. i thought maybe it was french fries they wanted, so i had some last night. nothing changed. today i think i might try a milkshake. an oreo cookie milkshake even. if the little germ bastards still aren't placated well... hopefully catching the last day of the Star Trek: Deep Space 9 marathon on Spike TV will do the job. because i don't have to work tomorrow. woo! that means i can stay home and wear my penguin pjs all day and watch hours and hours of DS9 goodness. yay for holidays!

even made up ones such as "Spring Break." yep. that's why i don't have to work tomorrow. not because its 'good friday' or anything like that. no, its 'spring break'. not that it matters. main point here is i don't have to work tomorrow! whooooohooooooooo!


got an email from my mom this morning. she said there was an article in the newspaper there about someone i used to go to school with. someone who died in Baghdad during an uprising. someone who was one week away from being sent back to Germany. and back to his fiance. how sad is that. i feel sad whenever i hear or read about a soldier being killed. but still there's a separation between me and them. because I never knew them. but when you knew the person who's died, however briefly, it makes it seem so much more real. so much more tragic.

we were only friends in the first and second grade (and I think kindergarten too). then i moved to another school and our paths through life diverged. but we were really good friends for those first couple of elementary school years. we learned together, played together. and boy did we laugh together. he was also one of my first boyfriends. :) i can still picture in my mind the baby blue and pink plastic heart bracelet (very '80s!) he gave me for my birthday one year. ::sigh:: nice memories there.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

hi. my name is loon. and i'm a book addict.

Books on the brain. Books on the brain. I've got a lot of books on the brain.

Not literally of course. I'm pretty sure that would hurt. And be very messy. I don't want to ruin the books with brain slime. So anyways... here's some of the book thoughts currently taking up residence in my brain.

I got an email from the Robert Crais mailing list the other day. It said that the publication date of his new book, The Forgotten Man, is being pushed back from August of this year to February of next year. That's like, almost a year away! Oh, the agony! I fell in love with the last Elvis Cole novel, and am really looking forward to this next one in the series. February??? ::sob::

Tanya Huff has a new book out called Smoke and Shadows. And it stars two of the main characters from Huff's 'Blood' series, which I enjoyed. But its in hardback so I don't know if I'll be reading it any time soon. I could reread the 'Keeper' series (which I truly loved) while I wait. Or I could read her other books, which I'm looking forward to doing someday. But that requires money, something I don't have much of at the moment. Maybe I can get lucky and find her at some of the used bookstores nearby. I'd try the library, but the library doesn't carry any of Huff's books. Which is a damn shame! I think I'll have to bug them about it until they do carry her stuff. Make them start with ordering Smoke and Shadows. :)

I have a gift certificate coming to me for Barnes & Noble... ::does snoopy dance:: ...which I could use to buy the Huff book. But I'm going to spend it on the new Charlaine Harris book, Dead to the World instead. Hopefully the gift certificate gets here in time, because the book comes out a few days before my birthday, which is just a few weeks away. Birthday present for me! Yay!

If I have any money left over from the Harris book I'm planning on buying some Jim Butcher books. They've been on my Need To Buy list for a while now. I've read the first Harry Dresden book, Storm Front, and loved it. The last couple of times I've been to a bookstore (why I'm in the bookstore tempting fate in the first place is a long and boring tale which I won't bother going into) I've said to myself, 'I won't buy a book, I won't I won't I won't, but if the second Harry Dresden book is there...' . It must have been a sign from the Book Gods, or quite possibly the Credit Card Debt Gods, because the second book was never in stock. The fourth in the series, and sometimes the fifth book in the series would be there, but I refrained from buying those, just in case the second and third books totally turned me off from the author. I've heard the books get better, so I doubt they will, but I'm still not going to buy them before I buy the second one. Just in case. And because I don't like reading books in a series out of order. Note to self: call the bookstore and have them order the second one so it's in the store next time I stop by. Stop by with my gift certificate, that is. Woo!

In the mean time I have a lot of books at home in my To Be Read pile that I still have to plow through. I'm trying to read all the ones my mom has loaned me first. So I can give them back to her and make room for mine. :) Every time I visit she gives me more books to try. Sometimes she can't even wait for the visit, she sends me books in the mail! Well, she's only done that once, just this past weekend, because she knows I enjoy Lawrence Block's 'Burglar' books as much as she does. I could have waited a few weeks until I drive up to Pville next to get The Burglar on the Prowl, but I don't mind the mail. No big dealio. :)

I've also been fighting off the urge to reread Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Because every time I think about it (the wallpaper on both my work and home computers are images from the upcoming movie (june 4!!!) and I check out the news at mugglenet semi regularly) I want to reread the book. But I don't want to reread it before the movie comes out, because then it will be fresh in my mind when the movie comes out, and they will leave so much of the book out that it will be distracting and will therefore ruin the movie for me. Thinking about this makes me think about how much more rich the Chamber of Secrets book was compared to the CoS movie, and that's making me want to reread the second book. I'd reread the first as well, but I don't own it. Something I plan to remedy someday. When I have a big ol' house with a room all to my own that I can claim as the Library and fill with as many books as I want. Until then I have limited shelf space. And box space as well. So if the urge ever gets too great I'll just reread CoS to quench my Potter thirst.

And sometime I have finish the John J Nance book I started a month ago but put down in order to read a book for a book club discussion. I'll just have to finish that one after I finish the 'Burglar' book. Which means I'd better get reading, because the Harris book comes out in JUST 27 DAYS. Yes, the countdown has begun!

And then there's Ten Big Ones, the new Janet Evanovich book which comes out at the end of June. And Incubus Dreams, the new Laurell K Hamilton book comes out in October. And the new J.D. Robb book, Visions in Death, comes out in August. And... oh, I'm sure I'm forgetting someone.

::sigh:: So many books, so little time. I wish I wasn't such a slow reader. Because I still have to set time aside to work on my writing projects and stuff. But the reading, its important to the writing process. It's like research. The brain reads these books and goes 'hey, this is a good writer. This is good stuff! I should be taking mental notes of all this goodness.' So yeah, I need to get on with my bad researching self. :)

Snot Soldiers vs. Warm Fuzzy Warriors

What's On your outside thermometer Right Now?

I don't have an outside thermometer here, but according to the yahoo weather site, the zip code I work in (which is in Ontario, California) is currently 55° Fahrenheit (13° Celsius). It's a nice kind of cold outside with a mixture of clouds and sun in the sky.

I just went out to my car a few minutes ago and I just have to say that I love mornings like this. Mornings where its chilly outside (but not too chilly), the sky is fully of gray clouds with the sun trying to peak through whatever holes it can find, and several birds (I heard three different ones this morning) are chirping away, singing their morning songs of 'Good morning to you!' and 'Hey! Who leggoed my Eggo!' and 'Mom! I can't find my homework!'

I fucking love it.

It's like soul food. A soul jump start. Zzzzt!

I woke up this morning with a drippy nose and sore throat, so I was in a bummed-out, consumed-by-snot, sort of ass-dragging mood. But now I'm not. I've still got the snot, but the snot doesn't have me. Because, for the moment, I'm a slave to the warm fuzzies in my tummy. :)

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Tuesday is Chooseday

tuesday is chooseday

Would you rather...

1. go through 5 years of poverty and get $10,000,000 OR go through 1 year of poverty and get $100,000?

Being poor sucks. I'm nowhere near the poverty line, but my current financial situation still SUCKS. So five years of poverty? Major suckiness. But look at the pay out. Seven zeros so kicks five zeros' ass! You could live the high and mighty life off that first number. The second figure isn't enough for me to retire on, so I'd still have to slave away at my daily grind. It would help me pay off debts, sure. And buy a new couch to replace the broken one in my living room that I can't afford to get rid of so I just fall in a whole every time I sit down in the wrong spot. But what if some small disaster happens and I'm broke again? Back to the suckiness. I'd probably regret it by year 3 or 4, but I think I'd rather go with the first option. And just keep reminding myself 'ten million. Ten million. Ten million.'

2. date someone who is fabulous looking but has unmaskable, horrible breath OR someone who is simply average but has great breath all the time?

I'd rather date someone average with great breath. I wouldn't be able to stand being around Horrible Breath Guy, so what would be the fun in dating him. Sure, he'd be great for high school reunions, or family reunions, or grocery check out lines. As long as he didn't speak and kept his mouth closed that is. But showing him off to make everyone insanely jealous of me is not the only reason I'd be dating him ("wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more"), but that with the horrible breath anything else wouldn't be as fun. So I'll stick with Average Guy.

3. hand wash the poopy cloth diapers for 50 babies for a day OR hand wash the poopy cloth diapers for 5 babies for a week?

I did the math (I have no idea why really) and discovered that the second option has less poopy diapers to wash. Around 30% less. That sounds pretty good. But after all that math I realize that I'd want to get it all over and done with. Even if it was something like 500 diapers in one day.

Because you'd get in a groove. You'd become RoboPoopyWasher, blocking out the terror of what you have to do, going to your special place to push past the pain. And at the end of the day it would all be over. With the second option, you have to keep revisiting the horror of poopy diapers. It just seems to drag on. With poop everywhere! With no escape! Oh the horror!

You know, this is sooooooo making me want to have kids. :)

4. be fat, dumb, and happy OR in excellent shape, sharp as a whip, but melancholy or depressed all the time?

Well, I'm currently fat, dumb, and happy. And it's working out pretty well for me. :)

I'd rather be happy. Being happy is the bomb! It's awesome. Being depressed sucks. No fun. And its all about the fun!


See? Currently happy. Because it's all good in the loonyhood.

Friday, April 02, 2004


No, this isn't a post about French Warbling Frogs. Or Funky Weather Forecasters. Or even Four Weird Fortunes for that matter. It's just another one of my Fifty Word Fiction stories.

This is for jodi, who seems to get a kick out of the fact that I once wrote about an alien that had talking eyebrows. She suggested I include the talking eyebrows in my next writing assignment. I'm not sure if I want to get that wacky with the scene. But I might :) . In case I don't, though, I thought I'd feature the eyebrows in a little Fifty Word Fiction story.

Rude Customers

Angie couldn't believe her eyes. Or her ears.
"This isn't real," she whispered, staring in horror as Pierre's eyebrows began to wiggle.
"We're real all right," said Pierre's eyebrows. "We're also hairy. So stop staring and give us a trim, would ya? Snip snip!"
Angie gulped and got to work.

If anyone out there would like to make a request, or suggest a theme (llama pajama races), or a character (Kiki the Ninja Cat), or a phrase ('don't touch the purple frog') or just one word (splendiferous), anything else that I can include in my next Fifty Word Fiction story, just request/suggest away. And I will attempt to create brilliance in just fifty words.

I kind of like the Kiki the Ninja Cat one. Brings to mind some interesting images. I just might have to try that one out sometime. :)

Thursday, April 01, 2004

insomniac poetry

HB: whatcha doin?
me: makin' poetry!
HB: fakin' poetry?
me: yeah. that too.

i have to wake up in five hours. and still i'm awake. sort of. oy to the vey. so here's my half awake attempt at poetry. i used the kids kit. because i be cool like that.

~ poem #1 ~


~ poem #2 ~


~ poem #3 ~


caution: perception of history may shift during memory trip

In my recollection, I've only pulled off one April Fool's Day joke/prank. I've been involved in pranks before, and come up with some good things to add to the prank, but have never been an instigator. But this one April Fool's Day, many, many years ago, I was the inventor creator of The Best Prank Ever. I only capitalize it so much because that's how my little seven-year-old brain thought of the prank at the time. It was Top Notch Stuff.

See, I was in the first or second grade, can't remember which (but I was around seven years old), and every morning I walked to school with my friend Evan. I lived on the corner of two streets. He walked a block down one street to my door, then the two of us walked down the other street about two or three blocks to our elementary school.

On April first, while I was getting ready for school, the idea for The Best Prank Ever came into my mind. I can't remember how I set it up, but I remember rushing into the dining/living room where my mom was and, acting all flustered and hurried, I said something like, 'he's early! And I'm not ready yet! I still have to eat breakfast!'

I remember my mom jumping from her seat at the dinner table. She jumped up, all worried like, and started to help me with whatever preparations still needed to be done.

I lasted maybe ten seconds after my mom jumped into action before I busted out with the giggles. I so got her! My mom. I tricked her! Ha!

I wish I was a good enough writer to describe how I was so very proud of myself. It is truly one of The LAMEST Pranks Ever, but at the time I was immensely proud of myself. Because I came up with it all by myself. And carried it out without a hitch! Lil' ol' me. Pulling one over on the adult. Wheee!

Later, and for years after, my mom always denied that I tricked her. She pretended that she knew I was going to try and pull something. I always knew better.

But now, as I think about it, I think my mom was right. She probably knew what I was up to the second the thought came into my head. My intentions of prank pulling were probably written across my face with the bright shining glee of a mischievous little seven year old. But bless her sweet mommy heart, she played along anyway and let me think I was The Best Prankster Ever. At least for the last seventeen years or so. :)

ho hum

At first I didn't want to title this post with just 'ho hum' because it didn't seem interesting enough. So I though, I need to liven it up a bit. Give the title a bit of flair. But just a tiny bit, because I'm not in a big flair kinda mood. So I thought about it. And thought of 'ho hummers'. The '-mers' at the end giving it a nice little *ding* at the end to separate it from the rest of the 'ho hum's. I typed it out. And only then realized what I'd come up with. Ho hummers. I didn't want to give you, dear reader(s), the impression that this post was going to be about how hoes give hummers. Because that post is for an entirely different day. A day when I'm not writing a post that's titled 'ho hum'. Mainly, its titled that because I can't think of anything better to write. And a post about hummers of the ho variety deserves a kick ass title.

So anyway, the point of this post is to mention that I'm in a real pisser of a mood. And it must have shown because my next desk neighbor Mr. Funnypants asked what was wrong. I said 'nothing really. Just in a bad mood.' I must have looked really bummed, because he asked me if I wanted some of the burrito he was eating. I said no thanks.

And he said, "share it now or share it later."

And as gross as that is, because I really don't want to know he'll be sharing his burrito induced farts with his officemates, it made me smile.

Then he shared with me something he tells his nieces and nephews and grandkids when they come over to visit. He tells them, "Don't worry. If the dog doesn't like you, she'll spit you right out."

Poor kids. Ha ha ha.


I'm feeling slightly better now after that mini chuckle.

Also helping with the pisser mood reducing was the half donut I ate earlier. It was the best damn donut I have ever eaten in my whole entire life. No joke. It was one of those glazed twisty donuts. It was big and fluffy and fresh and glazed to perfection. Someone in this office had a donut, but didn't want all of it, so he offered to half it with me. I was the one who had to break it in half, and since it wasn't mine to begin with, I took only about a third. But that tiny little third was so damn good. I was hesitant to ask where he got the donut, because I'd be forced to buy donuts from there every single day. But I asked anyway. Because curiosity is a powerful bitch. He said some rep gave it to him. So the donuts origins remain a mystery. Which is a good thing I guess.

The little piece of donut will be like a one-night-stand of passion with a sex god. I will part with the sex god (aka the perfect donut) who rocked my world with no exchanging of phone numbers. No promises to stay in touch. He will be just a fond memory. A warm gooey memory of full of satisfaction and glazed sugar. Mmmm... If you can't tell the donut cheered me up a bit too.

The weather here is a bit on the cold side. And its all icky and overcast outside. Which tends to give me warm fuzzies sometimes. I don't know why. Reminds me of some early morning trips to the beach or something. Its that first cold, overcast day after a bright sunny day that gives me the warm fuzzies. If it’s the tenth day in a row the novelty of it wears off. I love bright sunny days. I also love overcast days. When its cold outside. Cold enough to make you want to huddle into your clothes. And go home and huddle under the covers with some thing or some one.


I feel a little bit better now. A little bit more than before. It's as if writing down all the moments that have made me smile today has increased the smiles' potency. Strange, that. But I'll take it. And roll with it. And find something else that will make me smile. And I'll be cured of the bummer blues in no time.