Friday, September 29, 2006

A Pretty Picture

Co-worker Jack sent me an email this morning, saying he'd made a picture for me. The subject of the email was, in fact, "a pretty picture." Ain't he sweet? So I open up the attachment and see this:

My response: "Ummm... thank you?"

To which he replied: "You can post it on your blog and talk about me and my magnificence... about how hip and cutting edge of an artist I am."

I decided I'd better, seeing as how snappy he is today. ;)

So here goes...

Bravo Jack! You have stunned me into silence with the beauty your cutting-edged-hipster-self magnificently managed to capture in such a tiny little space of pixilated art.

There. Maybe he won't be so grouchy in today's Weekly Meeting of Repetitive Crap.


Then again, when he's grouchy and challenging everything it makes the meetings more bearable. Longer, but entertaininly bearable.

I'd like to introduce you all to the newest member of the We Love Loonyville Fan Club

I found out last Friday that someone at work found my blog. Eek!

*waves to Jack*

Not that I made it too hard for him, and not that I mind or anything, its just that I kinda forgot there was a link to this place floating out there. A link that I made accessible to him. So when he told me I was a little shocked. "Huh... oh... uh... yeah, the one with the flowers, yeah, that's mine. How did you... oh, duh."

Knowing the link is there is fine (because I'd be all kinds of dumb for posting it if I didn't want anyone to click on it, and I'm only a few kinds of dumb thank you very much).

But knowing someone I know personally has now read every little stupid thing is... weird. Not bad, just... I guess just a little unsettling. At first. I mean, a couple RL friends have seen this blog but that's different. Because they've known me for years and I'm sure this is just more of the same crap they've gotten used to.

But Jack is a co-worker. A colleague. (Previously referred to in this blog as "Zack" – ain't I creative!) I know he knew I was a bit of a dork before, but I could still pretend I conveyed some sort of semblance to a professional, confident, smart worker person.

But now, as of Monday, he's read the "entire damn blog." So he now has a greater sense of the dork I truly am (and how much I used to slack off at work. Used to I say!) Just took a milli-second to adjust to that realization. Now I'm good. (I can not imagine how weird it will feel if any family ever finds this blog.)

And, out of everyone here at work he's the only one I wouldn't mind reading this.

So let this be a warning to you Jack. You'd better not tell anyone at work or I'll...


I don't know...

Set your pants on fire or something.

Yeah, something real evil.

Friday, September 22, 2006

50 Word Fiction Friday Vol. 49

I must be psychic. I decided to play 50 Word Fiction Friday today without knowing Jodi had started playing again. I was stuck in a boring-ass meeting (the second of the day - woot!) when I decided to have a little fun, in the guise of taking Very Important Notes. So I wrote up a little something. The super psychic part is that my 50 word story sort of fits into her suggested topic for this week. Go me! I knew those online psychic classes would start paying off eventually.

She paced like an impatient tiger. Where was he? Had he stopped somewhere else first? Whose needs were more important than hers?

Finally, he knocked. Her insides flipped in anticipation. She open the door, threw him money, then yanked the pizza box out of his hands.

She was now complete.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

From the Files of The Easily Amused

Mr. Desk Neighbor is setting up employee birthdays in his calendar when the following conversation takes place.

Him: When's your birthday?

Me: Huh?

Him: September?

Me: Uh... *wonders if he's already forgotten the little office birthday cake he bought me just a couple months ago*. ... no.

Him: August?

Me: No.

Him: July?

Me: *sigh*

Him: *ponders new interrogation tactics*

Him: What's your sign?

Me: ...

Him: Airhead?

Me: *dies laughing*

Him: I mean, Aeries?

Me: *giggle* no *giggle*

Him: Hmmm. Come on, when was hades blessed with your presence? (running office joke)

Me: May, okay. May. You don't need to know the exact day, as you should be celebrating the whole month anyway.

Him: So you're a tore ass? I mean, Taurus?

Me: >.>

I swear, 15 minutes later he came over, very pleased with himself as only a grown man with a little 12 year old boy still inside his brain can be, with a list of all 12 zodiac signs and their new "names." (Sagittarius --> Flatulos // Capricorn --> Carmel corn // etc...) Thankfully, he amended Taurus to = Tore Up. Heh. I'd rather be tore up than have a torn ass anyday.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Chipmunks are cute. Until they start flying out your ass.

Just heard a commercial on the radio. It went a lil' something like this:

Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Dr. DietMan will teach you how to eat healthier... [dramatic pause]... and possibly extend your life! Blah blah blah.

Here's what puzzled me (and inspired this typed rant) when I first heard it... isn't that the reason you eat healthier in the first place? To extend your life? Why else would you eat healthier?

Because its fun?

Because it makes shiny sparkly chipmunks fly out your ass who give you gifts of gold?

No. I don't think so.

Me: Doc, you're telling me I have to give up deep fried cheerios dipped in ranch dressing for breakfast?
Doc: Yes.
Me: What do I get out of this? A longer life span?
Doc: Well, not necessarily.
Me: ...
Doc: But I have this theory on chipmunks.

Well, okay, I guess you eat healthier to feel better, sure. And because it actually sometimes tastes good (like the plum I had for breakfast this morning - delicious!) But if you actually need to see a doctor to tell you how to eat healthier, don't you kind of want the guarantee that it will definitely extend your life? And not just possibly?

I mean, if I'm going to put time and effort and, most importantly, money into obtaining professional medical help on the dietary front, I'd kind of like that life-extending deal included. If I want to eat healthier just for the kick of it, I don't need any other motivation. But if I'm spending money on a doctor... please, please lie to me. Go ahead. Make me feel like I'm getting my money's worth. I won't know the difference until I'm dead. And what can I do then? Haunt you from the grave?

Me: Boo!
Doc: Ack!
Me: That was for all the tofu waffles you made me eat! I still died young!
Doc: Darn it. Maybe I should revise my Lies To Tell Patients list.

Ah, I have no idea what I'm saying. I'm a bit loopy today. And annoyed that I have to give two training sessions later this afternoon. Can't you morons figure it out for yourself?!


Yes, that's me, I'm very annoy-able today. Perfect mood to be in while training others! Heh.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Vacation Math

The suppa-long weekend was nice. And, educational. Because I've learned that, apparently, 3 vacation days x 1 me = 1 lazy sumbitch. :)

Sure, Monday was spent walking all over (and I do mean all over) Disneyland (after spending Sunday night walking up and down Universal City Walk). Nothing lazy about that.

And sure, I did venture out of the house during the next two days for food and books and fresh air. Not extremely lazy I guess.

The thing is.... I didn't accomplish much. Or at least, I didn't accomplish what I'd planned on accomplishing. Namely the little site redesign I'd wanted to do.


No, no, couldn't get around to sitting in front of the computer on that uncomfortable chair (it's a dinner table chair, since the computer sits on our dinning room table, which hasn't been used as a dinning room table since we last moved 6 yrs ago. Yeah, we're a bit cramped.) I opted to spend my two non-work/non-disneyland days on the nice new comfy couch we bought a couple weeks ago. I read three books, caught up on tivo, and spent way too much time playing video games.

Oh, and I did the dishes! So not lazy. Just... well, my brain is tired from my lazy-dazy weekend so I'll just stick with lazy until I can think of a better word.

And now I'm back at work. Oy to the vey. Today, the only work I'll get done will be catch-up work. Returning emails, returning voice mails, both of which, upon a quick cursory glance, seem to involve a lot of problem solving on my part. Then I need to figure out what the hell Mr. Desk Neighbor did while I was gone and what still needs to be done. And I think, like the dumbass that I am, I scheduled a training meeting for later this afternoon, knowing it was going to be smack dab in the middle of my first day back after vacation.

*smacks forehead*

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Is it Monday yet?

I've been wanting to change the look of this blog around a bit. Change the color, the layout, etc. It's ultimate suck-a-tude has been bugging me of late. And now that I've seen jodiferous's new look, I really wanna play around with my own design (not that it could ever look anywhere near as cool as hers... sigh). I need to find a place where I can get cool graphics... hmmm....

But if do any web designing it should be for my very own non-free-blogger-hosted site. Because its just sitting there, wasting away with nothing on it. So I should take advantage of it while I can. I just haven't had time lately. Plus, I don't have much to put up over there when I do put something up over there and I'm still puzzling that out. But I can figure that out later. Like, next week later. Heh. I'm taking a couple of vacation days next week, and the plan is (the plan that just now popped into my head) to freshen this look up a bit, then finally do something with the "other" site. That way my friend will stop threatening to change it to I mean, I like boobs just fine enough, sure (mine are a particular favorite), but I really don't want that to be the name of my site.

I'm taking next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off. Monday will be spent going to Disneyland with my parents and aunt and uncle. I'm really looking forward to that, for a number of reasons, one of which is that I haven't seen my aunt and uncle since I last visited New Zealand, which was, oh.... about fifteen years ago! I'm really looking forward to seeing them. I might head out to Las Vegas with them Tuesday for the night, but that's a lot of driving that doesn't sound appealing at the moment, so I'll probably just chill at home for two days and play on the xbox/computer and do nothing else, especially not think about work or school (which starts again in two weeks! Eek!)

So yeah, any blog designing I play around with better be done soon, because starting next month I won't have many spare brain cells left. Wheeee!

Is it Monday yet?