Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!

Let's see, last time I updated was... the 4th. And today is the... holy crap! How did it get to be the 18th already!!!???

That seems to be happening to me a lot lately. Chunks of days at a time seem to be disappearing. I'm sure I'm experiencing them, just in a time warp-y surreal sort of way.

Right now, I should be spending what free time I shouldn't be spending at work on homework. I have a major story due Thursday, and its still not finished. *cry* It needs to be 3,500-5,000 words long and I've only got a little over 2,000 words written. And as of yet, there is no point to my story. Which is a problem, because who wants to read a story that at the end it makes you say "okay, and what the hell was the point of all that? I just wasted ten minutes of my life!" It's just a bunch of scenes with no real ending. Any ending I can think of feels too after-school-special sappy. Which I don't do well. Sigh. But at least I've come to terms with the fact that its going to suck, so now I can concentrate on just finishing the damn thing so I have something to turn in. On Thursday. Eek!

But anyways, instead of doing what I should be doing (catching up on paper work or finishing some homework) I'm going to write this as a warm up. Yeah, like finger stretches. Don't want to cramp up while writing The Greatest Story Ever Written.

So here's a list of things I would have written about in the last two weeks had the days not skipped by. Damn you Time Bandit!

1. I'm taking two classes this quarter. Both are writing classes. One is a continuation workshop writing class. We read stories, do writing exercises, learn how to tell great stories, then write our own story, bring copies for everyone so everyone can tell us what's working and what is so totally not working. I've enjoyed the first two workshops. Hopefully this one is just as fun. And educational. Second class is a screenwriting class. So far, so good. The teacher is a ball of energy, and very entertaining. Which makes the 4-7pm class tolerable. :) And at the end of the quarter I shall have the first 17 minutes of a movie written! Wheee!

2. I signed up for myspace a couple of months ago, mainly so no one else could use the loon name. Heh. I find the site incredibly annoying at times (plus it tries to give my home computer a virus every time I visit!) so I don't go there often. I went there the other day though, figuring I'd check out the spam friend invites and such, and see if a friend (all two of them!) had any updates. There was an invite from a porn fiesta page (bah!) and a couple invites from old high school buddies (yay!) and then one from some guy named Moe. His picture consisted of my high school's three initials and the year I graduated. And I'm thinking to myself, "Do I know a Moe? Is he a friend from high school? How bad is it that I don't remember having a friend named Moe!?!?" So I click on the name to check him out and about slapped myself silly when I saw that it was a page for our 10 year reunion, full of year book pictures of all the pretty popular people. Duh! Moe was our mascot! How could I forget that? So yeah. 10 year reunion next year. Eek!

3. I've signed up to do NaNoWriMo again this year. Will I have time for work and school and NaNo? Probably not. But I can't help but try. And luckily, my major story for school will be all written and such before November, so I won't have that competing for my time.



4. Mini buttermilk donuts are perhaps my most favoritest donuts in the whole wide world. If I ever write one of those "100 things about me" I've got to remember to put that on the list. Today is Donut Wednesday again, and I'm trying really hard not to go back for a second one.

Must. Resist. The. Devil. Donut.

Must.

Be.

Strong.

5. Got a great piece of literature in my work's email inbox. First work spam ever! Loved the spam's subject heading, so I'm using it for today's blog title. The email had something to do with "the most common issue men face", though I couldn't quite figure out what it was refering to. I can infer what it was refering to, but I'm not positive. Because the email said to "forget about rubber, drinking, hypnosis..." and I'm not sure how rubber works into the whole "lasting longer" business. How does rubber work? Do you eat it? Wear it? Rub it all over your body? And drinking? Is that drinking heavily? That makes you boys stallions? Or is it all about drinking energy drinks? Are there people standing behind a line with little paper cups full of water in their outstretched hands so you can periodically replenish the necessary electrolites or whatnot so your legs don't cramp up? Is that the "drinking" the email is refering too?

Seriously. I'm highly intrigued.

6. Last Thursday was a suck-tacular day. Actually, that day deserves a post all its own. That, and it's time to get back to work. :(

D'oh-nuts

I'm currently working on Donut Number Three.

I love donuts but... well... apparently there's a limit to my love. And that limits name is Three.

I think Donut Number Three will be my downfall.

I can feel my body going into sugar overload.

Oh, the joy!

The rapture!

The dizzying confusion of sugarcomaitis!

Cup Of Coffee Number Three is not doing enough to counteract the intense scrambling of sugar molecules through my veins.

Bleagh.

I'd rather be eating one of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I'd made this morning.

The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that are currently sitting in a lunch tote on a kitchen counter in my apartment.

In the apartment I won't be going back to until 8pm tonight because I have class for three hours right after work.

Which is why I'd so thoughtfully made them in the friggin first place!

D'oh!

So there's nothing but donuts to sustain me until 8 tonight.

/cry

Well, come to think of it, I do have a baby handful of stale pretzels in my desk here. That'll have to be my Rush-To-Class snack I guess.

This is only the second day of waking up early for my new work/school schedule and already I'm losing it. Stay tuned for all the deranged developments!

Do phone sex operators have Employee of The Month awards?

Do they?

Just wondering.

Not for, you know, any particular reason.

Just curious.

A co-worker was pacing about, pissed that he was wasting so much time as the meeting he's trying to finish keeps getting interrupted, and I told him to chill, because isn't being in my presence rewarding enough?

Which led to the conversation topic he brings up often, about how much he loves my phone voice. He's not the first co-worker to mention it, but he is the one that feels the need to mention it more than once. He says semi-inappropriate things about it, like hinting that I could work in the Reach Out And Touch Someone (And Yourself) Phone Sex Business (my words, not his, he's not quite so... specific about it. Heh.).

So he's pacing, I'm pretending to be offended that my presence isn't uplifting enough, and he says that he'd rather hear me over the phone.

I knew what he meant, but my brain still leapt at the implication it found dancing about. Sheesh, am I that hideous to look at that you'd rather hear me than see me?

A: Not that hideous.

So we're talking about how sexy my phone voice is (which is only sexy when I'm talking in my I-Hope-No-One-Overhears-Me low voice, otherwise I sound like a 14 yr old, which dear god I hope is not the voice he's talking about, pretty sure its not...) and he's talking about how much he enjoys it, the voice, which I really don't want to know, because I don't want to be flattered by it (seeing as how we're at work, otherwise, bring it on!) and I really don't want to know exactly how he enjoys it because that's best between a man and his pants, particularly a co-worker man. And I tell him as much, that he can keep that enjoyment to himself, please.

But he continues, and says something about how I'd be top employee. I'd be Employee of the Month material! Which made me laugh. And then wonder... what kind of incentive programs do phone sex operator businesses have? Are there yearly bonuses? Summer retreats? Because that would be awesome.

EMPLOYER:

Congratulations Lisa! You have a high approval rating with the highest percentage of return callers! Requests for you are shooting through the roof! You're making us a butt load of money! So you've won this month's prestige Employee of the Month Award! Here's a twenty dollar gift certificate to Burger King!

ME:

*glee*


Not that I'm looking for a career change or anything. I wouldn't last five seconds in that job before busting out in a fit of giggles.

If I was a Super Evil Genius my arch nemesis would be Captain Stairs

Okay, so I'm walking in to work today, sauntering towards the back door, when a guy gets there before me. He opens it and stands aside, motioning me to go first. Which was nice, sure, but I was still several sauntering footsteps away.

Now, normally, I like to Sunday stroll it into work, and not rush into the chaos. But I speed up, because if he's going to be nice, I might as well be nice too and not make him wait forever.

Yet for some reason, I can't let it just go at that. Nooooo. I have to make it seem like there's some other reason I just suddenly doubled my pace. Not because of you Mr. Nice Door Holder Opener Man, noooooo. I'm in a hurry to get to work!

So in my hurry I decided to trot up the five little stairs leading to the time clock, instead of climbing them at a leisurely pace like I know I should. Nope, I have to be that person who can casually skip up stairs.

But of course I'm not that person.

And I trip.

D'oh!

Not a big trip, thankfully, as there was no Kissing Of The Cement Floor action happening. I just stumbled a bit. Twice. In front of Mr. Nice Door Holder Opener Man.

Gawd! Why do I have to be so uncoordinated??