Mr. Desk Neighbor sits across from me, facing me, at a desk that's pushed up against mine. Kind of like the desks you see in tv-show police departments - you know, where partners vs. crime work together and have their desks pushed up against each other, the better to communicate with I guess - only with our desks, there's a mini cubicle wall set up in between. More push-pin surface room for hanging miscellaneous Dilbert cartoons I guess, so I don't mind it.
Mr. Desk Neighbor, on the other hand, minds that the mini-wall only extends from the wall to halfway across the length of our desks. To remedy this, when we first moved back here a couple of months ago, in an act of comic inspiration (desperation?) he taped/glued/wedged/erected a piece of cardboard to fill the remaining space. He calls it his "photon-shield".
Hey, whatever floats his boat I say. Makes it more challenging to lob over wads of paper/trash/empty coffee cups.
Some days he's quite jovial. Other days he's down right cranky. And when his hormonal cycle sways into mine it's a mess of fireworks in here. Fun times!
Now me? I'm as peachy as a tabby cat today. Mr. Desk Neighbor, on the other hand, is getting biotch slapped around a bit.
Poor Mr. Desk Neighbor.
I might not be helping much as I sing badly along with the radio, but hey, everyone has to play to their strengths, no?
A few minutes ago, Mr. Desk Neighbor walks up to his desk, reaches into his secret stash of random crap in the overhead storage cabinet, and grabs a bottle of advil.
He turns to me and holds the bottle up like he's practicing for a commercial ad.
"These are to make you go away," he says.
"Notice how the bottle is mostly empty?" he says, giving the bottle a little shake.
Then he cries in mock anguish, "You're still here!"
Is it wrong that that made my day?
Well, it did, until a few minutes later when Mr. Desk Neighbor calls up our lab department. When they answer (both are on speakerphone, mind you) he screams "Where's my crack?!" Ah, that never gets old, no matter how many million time he says it.
[Insert eye roll here]
There's more discussion, most of which I tune out. Then someone on the other end asks if Mr. Desk Neighbor wants to talk to Richard.
To which Mr. Desk Neighbor replies, "No, I don't like Dick!"
I nearly snorted donut sprinkles out my nose.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Damn those squirrels are happy little suckers.
I'm sitting at my desk, wanting to write something, and I got nothing. Nothing interesting happening in the World of Lisa. Lots of mundane stuff, but nothing interesting per say. I mean, I find it interesting, but then I'm easily amused.
It's both a blessing and a curse, really, depending on whether you want to use your super power for good or eeeeeevil.
This here, this typing words and making sentences that just sort of ramble on and on? Spectacularly amusing! Don't need no fancy toys to keep me entertained, no sir-e-bob! Give me a wooden spoon and pots and pans and I'll rock this joint, boy-eeeeee!
And no, I really did get a decent amount of sleep last night. Thanks for asking.
Since I don't have anything recent to write about, I'm gonna post what I'd started to write a couple weeks ago about a very adventurous day, with a bit of revision, plus its now complete with an ending!
And the squirrels rejoiced across the lands.
It's a bit lengthy and quite possibly unreadable, but I want to preserve it for posterity, because I just don't have the photographic evidence to suffice, for that one day in the future when life is super sucking, so I can look back and say, hey, if only my days were only that bad.
~ ~ ~
A couple Thursday's ago I experienced a rather suck-tacular day. At least it started out that way. The day definitely tried to redeem itself.
Woke up way too early, found out I had a flat tire a block from the apartment, called in car-sick to work, and ended up missing an important meeting I really needed to get out of the way. Actually, we still haven't had that meeting, and I'm going to get grief from one of my supervisors soon. Oy.
And when I tried to get back into the gated apartment complex my clicker didn't work. It's worked marvelously for years and decided to die on me the one morning I'm already freaking out. I felt the world was conspiring against me at that point. I woke the poor HB up and asked me to come open the gate for me. Poor guy. His alarm wasn't scheduled to wake him up until 7. :)
But anyways, since I was going into work at 6, and the tire repair shops don't open until after 8, I got to watch the night before's tivo-ed Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls. Bonus round!
Thankfully, my tire was fixed with little charge (Woot!) in time for me to still go to school (double Woot!).
On a quick side note, guess where I found the perfect husband for me... well, in name only. At the tire store! Guess what his name tag said... guess guess guess! Mr. Looney! Swear to gawd. If we married I'd be Lisa Looney!!! That would be awesome.
Anywhoo, the fun didn't stop at the tire store with Mr. Looney (*tee hee*). I hopped in my car and rushed to school. I decided to pay for hour parking instead of parking way out in BFE with my expensive parking permit. It was going to cost $4 for two hours, but I figured I'd earned myself a treat. So I park and pull out the wallet and... no money. Only a wrinkled dollar bill and a few coins. I checked the change tray in the car... score! Quarters!
So I grab all the change and run to the ticket spitter-outer thingy. But as I'm standing in line, waiting my turn, I count the change again for the millionth time, just to be sure, and the change I counted in the car that came out to 4 bucks was no longer counting up to 4 bucks. Son of a ...
I asked the people around me if they had a nickel. That's all I needed. One friggin nickel! I felt like the biggest dolt, but I asked anyway. Most people ignored me like my head was one big pimple. One girl said she had the change in her car and would get it for me after she got her ticket. I moved to the back of the line and when she was done she gave me a whole quarter, god bless her.
So its my turn, again, and I put my money in the machine. And you know what? I was still several cents short!!!!!
Apparently my math skills are seriously lacking when I'm anxious and in a hurry. I did really well in math in school. Honest! But that day, I was math impaired to the nth degree.
I ended up paying for hour parking, ran to class, got all the important stuff I needed, and made it back an hour and a half later before any one gave me a ticket. Ahhhhhh.
After that, I was soooooo ready to miss the rest of the work day, and figured I might as well get my headlights fixed. For a couple weeks prior, whenever I used my turn signal my headlights would turn off. Driving down the busy freeway late at night when poof goes the headlights? That's some scary shit right there, let me tell you! I'd been putting off getting it fixed because I didn't want to take a day off of work, so I'd been driving around with no turn signals. (Yeah, I was one of those people.) So luckily my tire flatted out and I had the chance to fix my headlights.
Blog Post Word Count: 937
NaNoWriMo Word Count To Date: 0
(Think I might have to steal this post and turn it into a story so I can use the word count. Hmmm....)
It's both a blessing and a curse, really, depending on whether you want to use your super power for good or eeeeeevil.
This here, this typing words and making sentences that just sort of ramble on and on? Spectacularly amusing! Don't need no fancy toys to keep me entertained, no sir-e-bob! Give me a wooden spoon and pots and pans and I'll rock this joint, boy-eeeeee!
And no, I really did get a decent amount of sleep last night. Thanks for asking.
Since I don't have anything recent to write about, I'm gonna post what I'd started to write a couple weeks ago about a very adventurous day, with a bit of revision, plus its now complete with an ending!
And the squirrels rejoiced across the lands.
It's a bit lengthy and quite possibly unreadable, but I want to preserve it for posterity, because I just don't have the photographic evidence to suffice, for that one day in the future when life is super sucking, so I can look back and say, hey, if only my days were only that bad.
~ ~ ~
A couple Thursday's ago I experienced a rather suck-tacular day. At least it started out that way. The day definitely tried to redeem itself.
Woke up way too early, found out I had a flat tire a block from the apartment, called in car-sick to work, and ended up missing an important meeting I really needed to get out of the way. Actually, we still haven't had that meeting, and I'm going to get grief from one of my supervisors soon. Oy.
And when I tried to get back into the gated apartment complex my clicker didn't work. It's worked marvelously for years and decided to die on me the one morning I'm already freaking out. I felt the world was conspiring against me at that point. I woke the poor HB up and asked me to come open the gate for me. Poor guy. His alarm wasn't scheduled to wake him up until 7. :)
But anyways, since I was going into work at 6, and the tire repair shops don't open until after 8, I got to watch the night before's tivo-ed Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls. Bonus round!
Thankfully, my tire was fixed with little charge (Woot!) in time for me to still go to school (double Woot!).
On a quick side note, guess where I found the perfect husband for me... well, in name only. At the tire store! Guess what his name tag said... guess guess guess! Mr. Looney! Swear to gawd. If we married I'd be Lisa Looney!!! That would be awesome.
Anywhoo, the fun didn't stop at the tire store with Mr. Looney (*tee hee*). I hopped in my car and rushed to school. I decided to pay for hour parking instead of parking way out in BFE with my expensive parking permit. It was going to cost $4 for two hours, but I figured I'd earned myself a treat. So I park and pull out the wallet and... no money. Only a wrinkled dollar bill and a few coins. I checked the change tray in the car... score! Quarters!
So I grab all the change and run to the ticket spitter-outer thingy. But as I'm standing in line, waiting my turn, I count the change again for the millionth time, just to be sure, and the change I counted in the car that came out to 4 bucks was no longer counting up to 4 bucks. Son of a ...
I asked the people around me if they had a nickel. That's all I needed. One friggin nickel! I felt like the biggest dolt, but I asked anyway. Most people ignored me like my head was one big pimple. One girl said she had the change in her car and would get it for me after she got her ticket. I moved to the back of the line and when she was done she gave me a whole quarter, god bless her.
So its my turn, again, and I put my money in the machine. And you know what? I was still several cents short!!!!!
Apparently my math skills are seriously lacking when I'm anxious and in a hurry. I did really well in math in school. Honest! But that day, I was math impaired to the nth degree.
I ended up paying for hour parking, ran to class, got all the important stuff I needed, and made it back an hour and a half later before any one gave me a ticket. Ahhhhhh.
After that, I was soooooo ready to miss the rest of the work day, and figured I might as well get my headlights fixed. For a couple weeks prior, whenever I used my turn signal my headlights would turn off. Driving down the busy freeway late at night when poof goes the headlights? That's some scary shit right there, let me tell you! I'd been putting off getting it fixed because I didn't want to take a day off of work, so I'd been driving around with no turn signals. (Yeah, I was one of those people.) So luckily my tire flatted out and I had the chance to fix my headlights.
Blog Post Word Count: 937
NaNoWriMo Word Count To Date: 0
(Think I might have to steal this post and turn it into a story so I can use the word count. Hmmm....)
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Jackfoolery
Last Friday, during the Weekly Meeting of Awesome Lameness and Repetitive Bullshit (tm), my dear friend Coworker Jack informed me that I hadn't posted in awhile.
He was right, as he so often is. ( =P )
And let me tell you something, the poor man was distraught. Oh, the pain I saw in his eyes! He was clearly in agony over his loonyville withdrawls. Poor fella. So after the meeting, after being infused with an overpowering sense of purpose and dedication in surging forward in our ever pressing march towards business excellence, I rushed back to my computer. To blog. Because oh yeah, I felt so business-ing-ly excellent.
I opened up my little word document and started to write about my day. Only I had nothing. Because my day so far had been rather boring. I was going to make something up, something fantastical with talking squirrels with French accents and flowers that spit out skittle flavored gumdrops, but I had nothing. The creative brain was tapped. And the new Brain Keg (tm) was still on backorder.
Sigh.
Which was a problem over the weekend since the second draft of my story for workshop was due on Tuesday, and unlike some of my classmates, it was looking like I was going to have to rewrite almost the entire damn story. Draft One sucked the big one. A classmate actually wrote that into his story; that a character, to "protect the names of the innocent", was to be henceforth referred to as Deep Throat because... well for some reason which I can't quite remember now, plus the other reason, (a parenthetical afterthought reason) which was that she "sucked the big one". And yes, I think he might have gotten a better score than me.
Sigh.
I had a problem writing the first draft of my short story because I had NO FRIGGIN CLUE what to write about. This led me to turning in a story that had absolutely no point to it. Which kind of sucks for my classmates that had to read it. Actually, it seemed to be a class-wide theme: stories with no plot/theme/point. So for the revision, I needed to give my characters purpose. They needed goals! So hey, at least I knew what needed to be fixed, right? If only it was that easy. Because I had NO FRIGGIN CLUE how to fix it. All the ideas I came up with were boring, very tired ideas. My creative juices were jammed up. On an extended vacation in LaLa Land. I couldn't think of anything I wanted to write about, which I'm sure translated into what I finally came up with. Blahness. But at least the blahness had a goal!
I took Monday off, thinking I'd give myself some buffer room to finish the story, make it all polished up and shiny. Only problem is, my muse took this as a sign to procrastinate until the very last damn minute. An extra day? Wheeee! Let's watch a True Life marathon on MTV! (Damn is that show addictive sometimes.)
That's how she usually works, the Muse, and it stresses me the hell out. I didn't go to bed until 1am Monday night/Tuesday morning. And since I was focused on editing my story, my brain was so wired I didn't fall asleep until after 2am. I'm surprised I even woke up when the alarm blasted at 5am.
But it was finished! And turned in! And now, after its critiqued on Thursday, I can forget about it I have to edit it for finals.
And the crazy thing is, I think I'm still going to try and do nanowrimo. Now that I don't have to worry and fret and perform Frankenstein feats of brilliance over my class assignment, I have time to write silly nonsense. Yay for silly nonsense! Maybe the muse will come back for that.
See, this is why I haven't blogged in awhile. I can never keep it short. Once I get to writing I just whine and whine and whine and can't stop myself and next thing I know people at work are wondering why I haven't done anything yet. Maybe I need to start posting short random bits.
He was right, as he so often is. ( =P )
And let me tell you something, the poor man was distraught. Oh, the pain I saw in his eyes! He was clearly in agony over his loonyville withdrawls. Poor fella. So after the meeting, after being infused with an overpowering sense of purpose and dedication in surging forward in our ever pressing march towards business excellence, I rushed back to my computer. To blog. Because oh yeah, I felt so business-ing-ly excellent.
I opened up my little word document and started to write about my day. Only I had nothing. Because my day so far had been rather boring. I was going to make something up, something fantastical with talking squirrels with French accents and flowers that spit out skittle flavored gumdrops, but I had nothing. The creative brain was tapped. And the new Brain Keg (tm) was still on backorder.
Sigh.
Which was a problem over the weekend since the second draft of my story for workshop was due on Tuesday, and unlike some of my classmates, it was looking like I was going to have to rewrite almost the entire damn story. Draft One sucked the big one. A classmate actually wrote that into his story; that a character, to "protect the names of the innocent", was to be henceforth referred to as Deep Throat because... well for some reason which I can't quite remember now, plus the other reason, (a parenthetical afterthought reason) which was that she "sucked the big one". And yes, I think he might have gotten a better score than me.
Sigh.
I had a problem writing the first draft of my short story because I had NO FRIGGIN CLUE what to write about. This led me to turning in a story that had absolutely no point to it. Which kind of sucks for my classmates that had to read it. Actually, it seemed to be a class-wide theme: stories with no plot/theme/point. So for the revision, I needed to give my characters purpose. They needed goals! So hey, at least I knew what needed to be fixed, right? If only it was that easy. Because I had NO FRIGGIN CLUE how to fix it. All the ideas I came up with were boring, very tired ideas. My creative juices were jammed up. On an extended vacation in LaLa Land. I couldn't think of anything I wanted to write about, which I'm sure translated into what I finally came up with. Blahness. But at least the blahness had a goal!
I took Monday off, thinking I'd give myself some buffer room to finish the story, make it all polished up and shiny. Only problem is, my muse took this as a sign to procrastinate until the very last damn minute. An extra day? Wheeee! Let's watch a True Life marathon on MTV! (Damn is that show addictive sometimes.)
That's how she usually works, the Muse, and it stresses me the hell out. I didn't go to bed until 1am Monday night/Tuesday morning. And since I was focused on editing my story, my brain was so wired I didn't fall asleep until after 2am. I'm surprised I even woke up when the alarm blasted at 5am.
But it was finished! And turned in! And now, after its critiqued on Thursday, I can forget about it I have to edit it for finals.
And the crazy thing is, I think I'm still going to try and do nanowrimo. Now that I don't have to worry and fret and perform Frankenstein feats of brilliance over my class assignment, I have time to write silly nonsense. Yay for silly nonsense! Maybe the muse will come back for that.
See, this is why I haven't blogged in awhile. I can never keep it short. Once I get to writing I just whine and whine and whine and can't stop myself and next thing I know people at work are wondering why I haven't done anything yet. Maybe I need to start posting short random bits.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!
Let's see, last time I updated was... the 4th. And today is the... holy crap! How did it get to be the 18th already!!!???
That seems to be happening to me a lot lately. Chunks of days at a time seem to be disappearing. I'm sure I'm experiencing them, just in a time warp-y surreal sort of way.
Right now, I should be spending what free time I shouldn't be spending at work on homework. I have a major story due Thursday, and its still not finished. *cry* It needs to be 3,500-5,000 words long and I've only got a little over 2,000 words written. And as of yet, there is no point to my story. Which is a problem, because who wants to read a story that at the end it makes you say "okay, and what the hell was the point of all that? I just wasted ten minutes of my life!" It's just a bunch of scenes with no real ending. Any ending I can think of feels too after-school-special sappy. Which I don't do well. Sigh. But at least I've come to terms with the fact that its going to suck, so now I can concentrate on just finishing the damn thing so I have something to turn in. On Thursday. Eek!
But anyways, instead of doing what I should be doing (catching up on paper work or finishing some homework) I'm going to write this as a warm up. Yeah, like finger stretches. Don't want to cramp up while writing The Greatest Story Ever Written.
So here's a list of things I would have written about in the last two weeks had the days not skipped by. Damn you Time Bandit!
1. I'm taking two classes this quarter. Both are writing classes. One is a continuation workshop writing class. We read stories, do writing exercises, learn how to tell great stories, then write our own story, bring copies for everyone so everyone can tell us what's working and what is so totally not working. I've enjoyed the first two workshops. Hopefully this one is just as fun. And educational. Second class is a screenwriting class. So far, so good. The teacher is a ball of energy, and very entertaining. Which makes the 4-7pm class tolerable. :) And at the end of the quarter I shall have the first 17 minutes of a movie written! Wheee!
2. I signed up for myspace a couple of months ago, mainly so no one else could use the loon name. Heh. I find the site incredibly annoying at times (plus it tries to give my home computer a virus every time I visit!) so I don't go there often. I went there the other day though, figuring I'd check out the spam friend invites and such, and see if a friend (all two of them!) had any updates. There was an invite from a porn fiesta page (bah!) and a couple invites from old high school buddies (yay!) and then one from some guy named Moe. His picture consisted of my high school's three initials and the year I graduated. And I'm thinking to myself, "Do I know a Moe? Is he a friend from high school? How bad is it that I don't remember having a friend named Moe!?!?" So I click on the name to check him out and about slapped myself silly when I saw that it was a page for our 10 year reunion, full of year book pictures of all the pretty popular people. Duh! Moe was our mascot! How could I forget that? So yeah. 10 year reunion next year. Eek!
3. I've signed up to do NaNoWriMo again this year. Will I have time for work and school and NaNo? Probably not. But I can't help but try. And luckily, my major story for school will be all written and such before November, so I won't have that competing for my time.
4. Mini buttermilk donuts are perhaps my most favoritest donuts in the whole wide world. If I ever write one of those "100 things about me" I've got to remember to put that on the list. Today is Donut Wednesday again, and I'm trying really hard not to go back for a second one.
Must. Resist. The. Devil. Donut.
Must.
Be.
Strong.
5. Got a great piece of literature in my work's email inbox. First work spam ever! Loved the spam's subject heading, so I'm using it for today's blog title. The email had something to do with "the most common issue men face", though I couldn't quite figure out what it was refering to. I can infer what it was refering to, but I'm not positive. Because the email said to "forget about rubber, drinking, hypnosis..." and I'm not sure how rubber works into the whole "lasting longer" business. How does rubber work? Do you eat it? Wear it? Rub it all over your body? And drinking? Is that drinking heavily? That makes you boys stallions? Or is it all about drinking energy drinks? Are there people standing behind a line with little paper cups full of water in their outstretched hands so you can periodically replenish the necessary electrolites or whatnot so your legs don't cramp up? Is that the "drinking" the email is refering too?
Seriously. I'm highly intrigued.
6. Last Thursday was a suck-tacular day. Actually, that day deserves a post all its own. That, and it's time to get back to work. :(
That seems to be happening to me a lot lately. Chunks of days at a time seem to be disappearing. I'm sure I'm experiencing them, just in a time warp-y surreal sort of way.
Right now, I should be spending what free time I shouldn't be spending at work on homework. I have a major story due Thursday, and its still not finished. *cry* It needs to be 3,500-5,000 words long and I've only got a little over 2,000 words written. And as of yet, there is no point to my story. Which is a problem, because who wants to read a story that at the end it makes you say "okay, and what the hell was the point of all that? I just wasted ten minutes of my life!" It's just a bunch of scenes with no real ending. Any ending I can think of feels too after-school-special sappy. Which I don't do well. Sigh. But at least I've come to terms with the fact that its going to suck, so now I can concentrate on just finishing the damn thing so I have something to turn in. On Thursday. Eek!
But anyways, instead of doing what I should be doing (catching up on paper work or finishing some homework) I'm going to write this as a warm up. Yeah, like finger stretches. Don't want to cramp up while writing The Greatest Story Ever Written.
So here's a list of things I would have written about in the last two weeks had the days not skipped by. Damn you Time Bandit!
1. I'm taking two classes this quarter. Both are writing classes. One is a continuation workshop writing class. We read stories, do writing exercises, learn how to tell great stories, then write our own story, bring copies for everyone so everyone can tell us what's working and what is so totally not working. I've enjoyed the first two workshops. Hopefully this one is just as fun. And educational. Second class is a screenwriting class. So far, so good. The teacher is a ball of energy, and very entertaining. Which makes the 4-7pm class tolerable. :) And at the end of the quarter I shall have the first 17 minutes of a movie written! Wheee!
2. I signed up for myspace a couple of months ago, mainly so no one else could use the loon name. Heh. I find the site incredibly annoying at times (plus it tries to give my home computer a virus every time I visit!) so I don't go there often. I went there the other day though, figuring I'd check out the spam friend invites and such, and see if a friend (all two of them!) had any updates. There was an invite from a porn fiesta page (bah!) and a couple invites from old high school buddies (yay!) and then one from some guy named Moe. His picture consisted of my high school's three initials and the year I graduated. And I'm thinking to myself, "Do I know a Moe? Is he a friend from high school? How bad is it that I don't remember having a friend named Moe!?!?" So I click on the name to check him out and about slapped myself silly when I saw that it was a page for our 10 year reunion, full of year book pictures of all the pretty popular people. Duh! Moe was our mascot! How could I forget that? So yeah. 10 year reunion next year. Eek!
3. I've signed up to do NaNoWriMo again this year. Will I have time for work and school and NaNo? Probably not. But I can't help but try. And luckily, my major story for school will be all written and such before November, so I won't have that competing for my time.
4. Mini buttermilk donuts are perhaps my most favoritest donuts in the whole wide world. If I ever write one of those "100 things about me" I've got to remember to put that on the list. Today is Donut Wednesday again, and I'm trying really hard not to go back for a second one.
Must. Resist. The. Devil. Donut.
Must.
Be.
Strong.
5. Got a great piece of literature in my work's email inbox. First work spam ever! Loved the spam's subject heading, so I'm using it for today's blog title. The email had something to do with "the most common issue men face", though I couldn't quite figure out what it was refering to. I can infer what it was refering to, but I'm not positive. Because the email said to "forget about rubber, drinking, hypnosis..." and I'm not sure how rubber works into the whole "lasting longer" business. How does rubber work? Do you eat it? Wear it? Rub it all over your body? And drinking? Is that drinking heavily? That makes you boys stallions? Or is it all about drinking energy drinks? Are there people standing behind a line with little paper cups full of water in their outstretched hands so you can periodically replenish the necessary electrolites or whatnot so your legs don't cramp up? Is that the "drinking" the email is refering too?
Seriously. I'm highly intrigued.
6. Last Thursday was a suck-tacular day. Actually, that day deserves a post all its own. That, and it's time to get back to work. :(
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
D'oh-nuts
I'm currently working on Donut Number Three.
I love donuts but... well... apparently there's a limit to my love. And that limits name is Three.
I think Donut Number Three will be my downfall.
I can feel my body going into sugar overload.
Oh, the joy!
The rapture!
The dizzying confusion of sugarcomaitis!
Cup Of Coffee Number Three is not doing enough to counteract the intense scrambling of sugar molecules through my veins.
Bleagh.
I'd rather be eating one of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I'd made this morning.
The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that are currently sitting in a lunch tote on a kitchen counter in my apartment.
In the apartment I won't be going back to until 8pm tonight because I have class for three hours right after work.
Which is why I'd so thoughtfully made them in the friggin first place!
D'oh!
So there's nothing but donuts to sustain me until 8 tonight.
/cry
Well, come to think of it, I do have a baby handful of stale pretzels in my desk here. That'll have to be my Rush-To-Class snack I guess.
This is only the second day of waking up early for my new work/school schedule and already I'm losing it. Stay tuned for all the deranged developments!
I love donuts but... well... apparently there's a limit to my love. And that limits name is Three.
I think Donut Number Three will be my downfall.
I can feel my body going into sugar overload.
Oh, the joy!
The rapture!
The dizzying confusion of sugarcomaitis!
Cup Of Coffee Number Three is not doing enough to counteract the intense scrambling of sugar molecules through my veins.
Bleagh.
I'd rather be eating one of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I'd made this morning.
The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that are currently sitting in a lunch tote on a kitchen counter in my apartment.
In the apartment I won't be going back to until 8pm tonight because I have class for three hours right after work.
Which is why I'd so thoughtfully made them in the friggin first place!
D'oh!
So there's nothing but donuts to sustain me until 8 tonight.
/cry
Well, come to think of it, I do have a baby handful of stale pretzels in my desk here. That'll have to be my Rush-To-Class snack I guess.
This is only the second day of waking up early for my new work/school schedule and already I'm losing it. Stay tuned for all the deranged developments!
Do phone sex operators have Employee of The Month awards?
Do they?
Just wondering.
Not for, you know, any particular reason.
Just curious.
A co-worker was pacing about, pissed that he was wasting so much time as the meeting he's trying to finish keeps getting interrupted, and I told him to chill, because isn't being in my presence rewarding enough?
Which led to the conversation topic he brings up often, about how much he loves my phone voice. He's not the first co-worker to mention it, but he is the one that feels the need to mention it more than once. He says semi-inappropriate things about it, like hinting that I could work in the Reach Out And Touch Someone (And Yourself) Phone Sex Business (my words, not his, he's not quite so... specific about it. Heh.).
So he's pacing, I'm pretending to be offended that my presence isn't uplifting enough, and he says that he'd rather hear me over the phone.
I knew what he meant, but my brain still leapt at the implication it found dancing about. Sheesh, am I that hideous to look at that you'd rather hear me than see me?
A: Not that hideous.
So we're talking about how sexy my phone voice is (which is only sexy when I'm talking in my I-Hope-No-One-Overhears-Me low voice, otherwise I sound like a 14 yr old, which dear god I hope is not the voice he's talking about, pretty sure its not...) and he's talking about how much he enjoys it, the voice, which I really don't want to know, because I don't want to be flattered by it (seeing as how we're at work, otherwise, bring it on!) and I really don't want to know exactly how he enjoys it because that's best between a man and his pants, particularly a co-worker man. And I tell him as much, that he can keep that enjoyment to himself, please.
But he continues, and says something about how I'd be top employee. I'd be Employee of the Month material! Which made me laugh. And then wonder... what kind of incentive programs do phone sex operator businesses have? Are there yearly bonuses? Summer retreats? Because that would be awesome.
EMPLOYER:
Congratulations Lisa! You have a high approval rating with the highest percentage of return callers! Requests for you are shooting through the roof! You're making us a butt load of money! So you've won this month's prestige Employee of the Month Award! Here's a twenty dollar gift certificate to Burger King!
ME:
*glee*
Not that I'm looking for a career change or anything. I wouldn't last five seconds in that job before busting out in a fit of giggles.
Just wondering.
Not for, you know, any particular reason.
Just curious.
A co-worker was pacing about, pissed that he was wasting so much time as the meeting he's trying to finish keeps getting interrupted, and I told him to chill, because isn't being in my presence rewarding enough?
Which led to the conversation topic he brings up often, about how much he loves my phone voice. He's not the first co-worker to mention it, but he is the one that feels the need to mention it more than once. He says semi-inappropriate things about it, like hinting that I could work in the Reach Out And Touch Someone (And Yourself) Phone Sex Business (my words, not his, he's not quite so... specific about it. Heh.).
So he's pacing, I'm pretending to be offended that my presence isn't uplifting enough, and he says that he'd rather hear me over the phone.
I knew what he meant, but my brain still leapt at the implication it found dancing about. Sheesh, am I that hideous to look at that you'd rather hear me than see me?
A: Not that hideous.
So we're talking about how sexy my phone voice is (which is only sexy when I'm talking in my I-Hope-No-One-Overhears-Me low voice, otherwise I sound like a 14 yr old, which dear god I hope is not the voice he's talking about, pretty sure its not...) and he's talking about how much he enjoys it, the voice, which I really don't want to know, because I don't want to be flattered by it (seeing as how we're at work, otherwise, bring it on!) and I really don't want to know exactly how he enjoys it because that's best between a man and his pants, particularly a co-worker man. And I tell him as much, that he can keep that enjoyment to himself, please.
But he continues, and says something about how I'd be top employee. I'd be Employee of the Month material! Which made me laugh. And then wonder... what kind of incentive programs do phone sex operator businesses have? Are there yearly bonuses? Summer retreats? Because that would be awesome.
EMPLOYER:
Congratulations Lisa! You have a high approval rating with the highest percentage of return callers! Requests for you are shooting through the roof! You're making us a butt load of money! So you've won this month's prestige Employee of the Month Award! Here's a twenty dollar gift certificate to Burger King!
ME:
*glee*
Not that I'm looking for a career change or anything. I wouldn't last five seconds in that job before busting out in a fit of giggles.
Monday, October 02, 2006
If I was a Super Evil Genius my arch nemesis would be Captain Stairs
Okay, so I'm walking in to work today, sauntering towards the back door, when a guy gets there before me. He opens it and stands aside, motioning me to go first. Which was nice, sure, but I was still several sauntering footsteps away.
Now, normally, I like to Sunday stroll it into work, and not rush into the chaos. But I speed up, because if he's going to be nice, I might as well be nice too and not make him wait forever.
Yet for some reason, I can't let it just go at that. Nooooo. I have to make it seem like there's some other reason I just suddenly doubled my pace. Not because of you Mr. Nice Door Holder Opener Man, noooooo. I'm in a hurry to get to work!
So in my hurry I decided to trot up the five little stairs leading to the time clock, instead of climbing them at a leisurely pace like I know I should. Nope, I have to be that person who can casually skip up stairs.
But of course I'm not that person.
And I trip.
D'oh!
Not a big trip, thankfully, as there was no Kissing Of The Cement Floor action happening. I just stumbled a bit. Twice. In front of Mr. Nice Door Holder Opener Man.
Gawd! Why do I have to be so uncoordinated??
Now, normally, I like to Sunday stroll it into work, and not rush into the chaos. But I speed up, because if he's going to be nice, I might as well be nice too and not make him wait forever.
Yet for some reason, I can't let it just go at that. Nooooo. I have to make it seem like there's some other reason I just suddenly doubled my pace. Not because of you Mr. Nice Door Holder Opener Man, noooooo. I'm in a hurry to get to work!
So in my hurry I decided to trot up the five little stairs leading to the time clock, instead of climbing them at a leisurely pace like I know I should. Nope, I have to be that person who can casually skip up stairs.
But of course I'm not that person.
And I trip.
D'oh!
Not a big trip, thankfully, as there was no Kissing Of The Cement Floor action happening. I just stumbled a bit. Twice. In front of Mr. Nice Door Holder Opener Man.
Gawd! Why do I have to be so uncoordinated??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
