Worst In Class

I came in to work this morning, sat at my desk, and immediately noticed that something was different. There was something new hanging up on my wall! Before I explain the awesomeness of this new addition to my Cubicle Palace let me give you a little background info.

I'm kind of a clutter freak. I like clutter. Clutter makes me happy. Especially when it comes to the walls that I spend a sizeable chuck of time hanging around. Uncluttered nekkid walls just plain bum me out.

The walls of my childhood bedroom were covered to eclectic perfection. It took ten years to get it that way and of course, by the time it reached cluttered perfection it was time for me to move away to college. It didn't take me long though to cover up those ugly stark-ass painted brick dorm walls with stuff. My half of the room (I shared the room with another gal) was almost completely covered in posters, postcards, and pictures cut out of magazines. It was awesome. And it had a very homey feeling to it.

The apartment I live in now isn't very cluttered because I live with a Just-Say-No-To-Clutter boy. It isn't completely clutter free, as I can't exactly erase that particular bad habit, but because I try to be respectful of the HB's anti-clutter upbringing it is relatively clutter-less. At least compared to my natural state of habitation.

In order to find balance in my life I make up for my minor-clutter-home with a very-cluttered work space. The HB actually saw it for the first time last Thursday (as he stopped by during a break from work to take me out to dinner - squee!) and after a quick look he said, "How did I know this is exactly how your desk would look?" He loves my cluttered self, I just know he does. :)

When I worked down stairs, and the wall in front of my desk was a giant glass window, the window was covered in a variety of mini post it notes, as far as the arm could reach. It was very pretty, as long as you didn't pay any attention (and I tried not to) to the Must Not Forget To Do Because They're Important items listed on each note. I didn't have much wall space so I had maybe a cartoon or two pinned up, plus a calendar (with great big X's marking each and every day I no longer had to work that week). I had a tiny desk space, so naturally, since I deal with a lot of paper work, my desk was covered in paper. Not necessarily cluttered on my part, its just the way things were. But now that I've reached the Big Leagues (i.e. relocated closer to the boss because we all laughed too much, apparently enjoying our jobs too god damn much, but luckily one of the guys eventually made it up here too) I've got a BIGGER DESK! And a wall that I can actually stab with push pins. Yay!

And you know what? Now that I have three times the desk space? My desk is still as cluttered as before. How is that possible? I don't have that much more work to worry about. It's as if the clutter intermingled with itself, threw a great paper orgy, then went exploring all the outer reaches of The Great Plane of Deskville.

And to my left, as I sit in my Cubicle Palace, there is a cubicle wall with a carpet covered cork board (the better to stick things to, my dear). I've got all kinds of cartoon pictures and other silly stuff push-pinned to it (maybe one day I'll take a picture of it, and explain ad nauseum what each little piece is). I've also got the occasional work related piece of paper pinned to the wall, you know, to give my work space some shred of credibility. It's not overly cluttered, but I'm working on it. Cluttering is a tricky art to master. It's a slow progress that takes time and dedication. It's added to sporadically, piece by piece, when ever the mood hits me or when something just plain tickles my fancy.

The latest addition to my Cubicle Wall (courtesy of my desk neighbor Sal) is a certificate for Worst In Class Office Space. It's a real certificate, printed on real certificate paper (it has the fancy lacey design border and everything). Under the "Worst In Class" heading is the following message:

Congratulations! You have received this award in recognition of your lack luster efforts at maintaining a clean office space.

Heh heh heh. Then there's my name, and bellow that there's a clip art graphic of a guy either drowning or getting attacked by evil paper work, and beside that there's a great big sun burst with "A 1 MESS" written in the middle. How perfect of an award is that? :)

Sal has more certificate paper and wants to pass out more awards. I think he should make one for Outstanding Achievement in Whining to the guy who is always making mountains out of mole hills. I'm sure we could find a crying baby graphic to add to the bottom. Heh. Oh! And one for Outstanding Cell Phone Ring Tone Office Dancing for the guy (Zack) who breaks out in a little jig (okay, a very BIG jig) every time he hears Girl Across The Hall's never ending voice mail message ring tone that I swear goes off at least every other day. Why she doesn't take her cell phone with her into meetings with her, or at least turn the damn thing off when she leaves it in her office, I have no idea. Maybe we should make her an award too in recognition of her cell phone negligence.

Ahhh... the fun just never stops around here.