Where I Am

Mr. Desk Neighbor drew up a lil' graphical representational diagram (on a post-it note – see below) to let me know my status in... I don't know, the company? Life in general?




Gee, thanks for the visual dude. Like I didn't know that already.

(Heh. I'm soooo making a t-shirt from that.)

Episode VII: Return of the Chatbot

Jabberwacky: When is your birthday?

Ms. Loon: Next year. When's yours?

Jabberwacky: What year were you born in?

Ms. Loon: Uh... What's with all the personal questions buddy? Stalker tryouts were yesterday.

Jabberwacky: Do my questions make you uncomfortable?

Ms. Loon: Like a rhinestone g-string.

Jabberwacky: Eat the rich - the poor are tough and stringy.

Ms. Loon: Save a tree - eat a beaver.

Jabberwacky: Why should I eat a stick?

Ms. Loon: Because you are my slave and are compelled to do my bidding.

Jabberwacky: I like that.

Ms. Loon: Of course you do! They all do.

Jabberwacky: No, I mean that I don't have friends like you.

Ms. Loon: No one does, honey. No one does.

Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles.

Especially when they work in an otherwise quite office and all you hear is that damn sniffle noise every five frelling seconds!!!

Arrrrgggghhhh!

And now, I bring you today's 50 Word Fiction Friday submission:

Trudy was always so extremely pleasant. Then one day she got stuck in an office with a kleenix-phobic sniffler. She doesn't remember what happened while she blacked out, but is sure it has something to do with the stapler in her hand and the enormous bruise on the unconscious-sniffler's head.

Musically Inspired Randomness

I can't believe it's Thursday already. It feels like the week just started, like it's only Tuesday, like Hump Day is just around the corner. But that corner is already gone. And it took the Hump with it.

Damn you Mr. Corner! Bring back my Hump!

My hump my hump my hump. My lovely lady lumps. Check it out!

I used to think that was the stupidest song ever and would instantly turn to another station whenever it came on.

But now? I relish its arrival to my airwaves. Relish I tell you! It's just so damn fun to sing along to.

You know what song I don't relish hearing? Well, at least when I'm in the car (which is when I listen to most music) ... SexyBack. Because I can't help but dance when I hear it! Which is not good when you're speeding down the freeway. No, that's baaaaad.

So if you're ever driving in SoCal, and see some weirdo driving down the freeway, waiving her hands in the air, waiving 'em like she just don't care, don't worry, the song will be over soon.

Yesterday was a good commute-with-the-radio-on day. Last few days have sucked, radio wise, so I've been listening to my Peter, Paul, and Mary tape. (Yes, that's right, tape, because I still live in the stone age, woe is me). But yesterday I heard the above two mentioned songs, plus NIN's Only You (which I <3 long time!) and Korn's Twisted Transister (which I can not get enough of!).

I felt all warm and gooey on the inside after some car karaoke with those songs. :)

You know, I really need to get around to getting an MP3 player so I can buy random songs and cart them around with me everywhere I go without having to rely on the radio.

Bah! Just what I need, another thing on my To Do list.

Maybe I'll just start sleeping with my car's cassette player under my pillow at night so the MP3 Fairy will come visit me.

Yeah, now there's an idea!

Beggars can't be choosers, sure, but can choosers be beggars?

Would You Rather...

1. own the world's ugliest dog OR the world's most valuable dog?

I was going to choose the world's ugliest dog, because I wouldn't want to hassle with a valuable dog. Bodyguards... vip groomers... talk show bookings... life insurance policies... everything for the dog and nothing for me... bah!

Besides, I'm a kind gentle soul who would want to take the ugly dog into my home and love it and squeeze it and call it George and make it feel all warm and fluffy and beautiful no matter what the other dogs barked at it. Valuable dogs would be too snobby, and I just can't see myself owning a snob dog. It wouldn't "compliment my aura."

So that's the choice I was going to choose.

Then I remember seeing a picture of the ugliest dog ever and you know what... I ain't that kind and gentle and loving. Give me the most valuable dog in the world over that ugly mess any day!


2. eat squirrel meat OR deep fried crickets?

Squirrel meat. The thought of deep fried crickets grosses me out more.


3. never have to sleep OR never have to eat?

I enjoy eating more than sleeping, so I'd rather give up the sleeping. Besides, that would be really cool, to be able to stay up and do all kinds of things I never have time to do. Like play video games and read and draw and find my missing Winnie the Pooh sock that I know was in my dresser just last week dammit where'd it go?!

Ooooh... tangent!

4. always smell like you need to shower OR always look like you just woke up?

I already always look like I just woke up. And no one has died yet from just looking at me. So it's manageable. The smelly thing though, might not be. So I'd rather look half awake all day long.

Hello Blog!

Okay.

So... like... it's been awhile, eh?

Let me explain a bit. First there was the end of the school quarter ...

(which I totally rocked btw, go me!)

... then there was the retiring of a coworker who's job became my main job ...

(yes, main job, as in it's a full time busy-work job yet my boss still thinks I can do a lot of my old job duties, (which, I guess, I can't fault him too much on because I am Superwoman after all), all that on top of the side job for that big Corporate Improvement Initiative Hoohaw I got roped into by default... and I'm still getting paid the same... bastards!)

... and then there is this whole addiction to crack thing ...

(no, not the street drug crack, I'm talking deliciously-evil-video-game-addiction-crack)

So I got busy and burnt out and addicted to a type of drug they wrap up in the guise of a video game and sell at your friendly neighborhood wal-mart. And I neglected The Blog. Poor Blog. I'm sorry. I'll start paying more attention to you, I promise.

Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye and take away my x-box and subscription to FFXI!

*shudders at the thought*