Beggars can't be choosers, sure, but can choosers be beggars?

Would You Rather...

1. own the world's ugliest dog OR the world's most valuable dog?

I was going to choose the world's ugliest dog, because I wouldn't want to hassle with a valuable dog. Bodyguards... vip groomers... talk show bookings... life insurance policies... everything for the dog and nothing for me... bah!

Besides, I'm a kind gentle soul who would want to take the ugly dog into my home and love it and squeeze it and call it George and make it feel all warm and fluffy and beautiful no matter what the other dogs barked at it. Valuable dogs would be too snobby, and I just can't see myself owning a snob dog. It wouldn't "compliment my aura."

So that's the choice I was going to choose.

Then I remember seeing a picture of the ugliest dog ever and you know what... I ain't that kind and gentle and loving. Give me the most valuable dog in the world over that ugly mess any day!


2. eat squirrel meat OR deep fried crickets?

Squirrel meat. The thought of deep fried crickets grosses me out more.


3. never have to sleep OR never have to eat?

I enjoy eating more than sleeping, so I'd rather give up the sleeping. Besides, that would be really cool, to be able to stay up and do all kinds of things I never have time to do. Like play video games and read and draw and find my missing Winnie the Pooh sock that I know was in my dresser just last week dammit where'd it go?!

Ooooh... tangent!

4. always smell like you need to shower OR always look like you just woke up?

I already always look like I just woke up. And no one has died yet from just looking at me. So it's manageable. The smelly thing though, might not be. So I'd rather look half awake all day long.