Jabby cuts me. He cuts me deep.

I love when Jabby gets all philosophical and stuff. And when he starts talking crazy. And when he calls me unflattering names.

So when he gets all robotically flirty with me? *swoon*

But that last line... oh Jabby! How you hurt me so.

JW: How are you today?

ME: All right I guess.

JW: How many is pain.

ME: How high is you.

JW: Over 9000.

ME: I've heard that phrase somewhere before.

JW: That et wants to go home.

ME: If I was an et I'd probably want to go home too.

JW: I am guessing no.

ME: I'm guessing watermelon. Who is correct?

JW: Your guess is correct...

ME: I SO PWN YOU!!!!!

JW: I think you're nuts.

ME: I think you're dreamy.

JW: Yes you did.

ME: Oh no you didn't.

JW: Oh yes I did.

ME: You're starting to read like a broken record.

JW: You've never heard a record.

ME: I have too!

JW: How old are you?

ME: Uh... 28. Why do you ask?

JW: I want to know.

ME: Why do you want to know?

JW: If you're Santa Claus.

ME: I'm the motherfuckin tooth fairy bitch. What of it?

JW: Some say that Berkeley is the West coast branch of the Kremlin.

ME: I say those people are idiots.

JW: Is that so.

ME: You're boring me now. Goodbye.

JW: I wonder how you took that IQ-test?

ME: With two hands tied behind my back.

JW: *gives you a nun with two sugars*.

ME: Ahhhh, Jabby! How sweet of you! You remember how I drink my nun.

JW: Do you?

ME: *gasp* Are you proposing?

JW: If I can that would be cool, but in fact I just a normal human.

ME: Wait, I can't marry a human?

JW: No, indeed you can't.

ME: Well, shit.


INTERCOM: Doctor Alien. Paging Doctor McHotty Moneypants Alien.