Birthday Month Meme

Because my lunch break is over and I don't want to go back to work just yet, and because I want to be like Jodi when I grow up, I present to you the [ insert trumpet fanfare here] Birthday Month Meme.


MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts (I have no idea, which probably means my other ideas aren't all that sharp). Easily angered (though if I keep working at my present job I'm going to learn to be easily angered - bunch of morons!). Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

That? That's my brain leaking all over the floor from Information Overload. Cool, eh?

well, i survived the week. go me! next week will be the real bitch of a week though. we've got people coming in to help set up this Process Thing, and a big meeting on monday to go over a Key Process Thingy, yet two main people in the middle of this process are not going to be here. so they won't have any input, they won't know what's going on, and... and...

*slams forehead on desk*

its been a really long, crazy day. but at least it went by really fast, mainly because i was running around busy busy busy all day. next thing i know... WHAMMO! it's two o'clock. and i'm thinking to myself, awesome. then thirty minutes later (i swear it felt as if at least a half hour had past) i look at the clock and... WHAMMO! its 2:05. and i'm thinking to myself, $&#*$%^$@#.

and... uh... yeah. now its 2:54 ... and 30 seconds... 23 seconds... and its time to go home!!!!!!! weeeeeeeee!!!!!!! (at least it will be by the time i clock out. hehehe.)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Mr. Desk Neighbor is on vacation for two weeks. Two frelling weeks! That means no corny one-liners and all around general silliness to make me laugh and make the work hours fly swiftly by. For two whole weeks! That's ten days. That's 80+ hours of empty Desk Neighbor-ness.

*pout*

That also means I'll be taking over his job duties. For two frelling weeks!

Eek !

But wait, the good news doesn't stop there folks! I just learned this morning that Mr. My Body's So Old It's Falling Apart On Me (aka the guy that was out for over a month a few months ago) is going to be on vacation soon. Can you guess when? That's right folks, its NEXT WEEK!

Which means lil' ol' me will be doing THREE PEOPLES JOBS for a whole bloody week. I swear I'm going to go bonkers next week. And it won't be a pretty sight. The madness has already started; I've got mini post-it notes everywhere with things I have to remember to do scribbled messily on them. There's so many post-it notes my desk is starting to look like some sort of furry yellow monster. Little multiplying bastards.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

Morbid Musings

The other night the HB and I went out on a carne asada run. Earlier in the day we'd spent a few hours out at the pool (I'm still whining about the sunburn - ouchie ouch) and then we napped a bit (i.e. fell asleep really early from sun exhaustion and dozed a few hours until waking wide at 11 p freaking m). Upon awakening, the HB discovered that he was craving carne asada. Particularly carne asada tacos. Upon hearing this I thought I'd crave some meat too (heh). Only I wanted a carne asada burrito. No beans please.

Since we were so in sync in our late night hunger cravings we hit the road in search of food. And who was driving? Me. The one who kept yawning. The one who hadn't yet fully recovered from her early evening nap. I can't nap successfully. Most times naps make me groggy afterwards. But not the HB. They almost always revive him. Lucky bastard.

So while I was groggy at the wheel he was wide awake in the passenger seat, ready to do his 'backseat driving'. Why didn't we switch positions? Well, that would have made too much sense now, wouldn't it? And besides, I was fine after the first twenty minutes. :)

Yes. Twenty minutes. This was no quick jaunt for food. We had to go into a whole other city! Granted, where we live there are a ton of cities crammed right up next to each other, so driving twenty minutes and leaving one city, driving through another, and ending up in a third isn't as weird as it may sound. At least as weird as it would have sounded to pre-Sardine City Living Me.

We drove south towards the HB's old job because he wanted to try the food from these street vendor carts he's always driving past. When we got to the right neighborhood I saw all kinds of vendors set up, one on almost every block, some directly across the street from another, all with their grills cooking at full steam. And the lines for each one were way too long - 'standing in line for at least twenty minutes' long. Judging by the size of the lines we figured the food must be pretty good, but we were hungry, so we went to a little nearby restaurant that the HB knew for a fact was good. The wait there wasn't nearly as long. We got our food (which, for the record, was very yummy and worth the long drive) and headed home.

On the way home, while driving down a street I've driven down numerous times before, the HB pointed out an old folks retirement home. "Now those are nice apartments. I bet the rent is cheap too. Too bad we're not old." A few seconds later, at the end of the block on the opposite side of the street we passed a cemetery.

A cemetery. Less than a block away from a retirement home.

WTF?

Is this common? Is this seen as a convenience for some people? A selling point when looking for a retirement home?

Grandma: This apartment complex has got a pool and a wide screen tv in the club house!
Grandpa: But this one is next door to a cemetery. Think of the money we'll save in hearse fees?

Me? I don't think I'd want to live so close to the place where my dead body will be rotting underground for the next however many years. Or even close to something that resembles the place of dead carcass residences. I'd rather be cremated anyway, but still. I'll grow old somewhere else thank you very much!

What a morbid reminder. Hey there Oldy Oldster! Death is just around the corner!

Sheesh.

I've given this a lot of thought (not really) and I've decided that when I'm retired and flabby and one bus stop away from Senile Town, if I'm not living in a phat condo by the beach, I want to live by a strip club. (As long as its run by someone with enough sense to set up shop far away from a cemetery.)

I want to live by a strip club because the neighborhood would be filled with interesting characters. Wouldn't it? Young and lively characters. Horny characters. That equals good rowdy fun, right? Just what I need in the last few crabby years of my life.

Because while I'll be fun and energetic and full of life when I'm only 10% wrinkle free, I'll still be crabby. It's genetically unavoidable. And living near a strip club will give me plenty of ammo to crab on about.

Because I will be a big time crabber. A big time Griper of All Things.

I've promised the HB that I won't be too too bad a griper. At least not as bad as my grandma currently is. In the last couple of years she's worked her self up to the Big Leagues of Bitching. She bitches about everything and everybody to anyone that will listen. Especially those who will agree with her (which she feels are, by default, her relatives. And those who associate with her relatives - i.e. the HB.) So after being within earshot of an interesting gripe fest, I promised the HB that I wouldn't be as bad as that. "Honestly sweetie, it gets watered down through the generations."

My mom and her sister have vowed to each other to never be as crabby as their mother has become. They've promised to be each other's watch dog and alarm system, to keep each other in line and remind them when they're driving their loved ones crazy.

I can see it now... two little old ladies on the beach...one of them complaining about something mundane... when the other one snaps...

Sister 1: ah quit yer bitchin. you're starting to sound like Mom.
Sister 2: *gasp* am not!
Sister 1: am too!
Sister 2: bitch!

I don't have a lovely sister like that, so I'm going to have to rely on friends. It's either that or make sure the HB doesn't start up a gun collection in his old age. :)

One more thing...

I really should get back to work. We've got ourselves a temp/intern and she's run out of things to do. And I've run out of things to have her do. Eek! I wonder what's more boring, the boring repetitive eye-gouging-inducing, data perusing and collecting I'm having her do, or the sitting and staring in between the tasks I give her. I've told her she can play games or surf the web while she waits. Its really no big deal since she really has nothing she should be doing instead. But she's not doing it! What's wrong with her? I know she's not against such things. She's played solitaire earlier this week!

Oh well. Must find something for her to do while I'm busing playing solitaire and surfing the web. I'm not really. Don't have the time. Just have barely enough time to type up meaningless blog posts. Yay!

So here goes...

While I should be saving my money in this dire financial time of mine I went out and bought a new cell phone. But I had to. Really I did. The HB needs one while he job hunts, so he can take calls and setting up interviews while running around everywhere handing out resumes and flashing his killer smile at all the receptionist ladies so they put his resume at the top of the stack. I've never been with him on a resume-handing-out run, so I'm not sure about the whole killer smile flashing, but when I picture it I picture the flashing. (And now I'm picturing a different kind of flashing. 'Here's my resume!')

*ahem*

The HB had a cell phone, but canceled the service when the company he no longer works for (see previous post if you're joining the party late) gave him a company phone. (A phone that was so cheap and old the battery wouldn't stay charged for the entire work day, which was way inconvenient.) Needless to say they didn't let him keep the phone when they let him go, so he is now cell phone-less. For the HB this is a major EEK!

To make a long blog post short, I wanted a new cell phone deal, a sort of pay-as-you-go deal, but I still had three months left on my old contract. And to get with the new plan I had to get a new cell phone. So I gave the HB my old phone to use for the next three months (hopefully he won't need it for that long *crosses fingers, toes, etc*) while I start using a new cell phone and plan deal thingy. So it all makes sense. Very logical. Practical. Full of makes-sense-ical.

And it's a great excuse to buy a new phone. It hurt, really hurt, to shell out money for a new phone. Money that could have gone to chipping away at the credit card debt, i.e. the Black Money Hole of Doom. So while I was feeling the pain, I reminded myself that in the long run I'll be saving money. It'll pay for itself in no time. Plus, now I have a KICK ASS PHONE!!! Seriously. It is sweeeeeeeeet. And small and a hundred times lighter than my old clunker. I'm in love with my new phone. Its not a camera phone, which I would have LOVED to have bought. But I nearly passed on the $70 dollar phone. There was no way I could have talked myself into the $250+ phone.

Not that there was much talking into needed. The HB looked at me and said something like, "Come on. You know you want to buy it." That's about all the convincing I needed. I'm so easy sometimes. Especially when its about a cool new phone!

Because my last cell phone had lost its flavor. The umpff that made me spend so much money on it when it was the 'new thing'. But I wasn't feeling it anymore. I mean I was, because it was really heavy compared to some cell phones out there, but I wasn't feeling it. It no longer complimented my aura. So it was time for a change. Because when its time to change you've got to rearrange. Isn't that something The Brady's sang about? Anyways, bottom line is I'm in love with an inanimate object. One that vibrates when someone wants to talk to me. And plays a Cool ring tone. And has games in images and stuff in color. Color! For the love of all things digital and shiny my cell phone has color! And I can access the internet and check my email and do all kinds of super spiffy stuff. And it's a flip phone. A real flip phone! I've wanted one of those ever since I saw Mulder and Scully had flip phones. Sure, my flippy phone looks nothing like their flippy phones looked like, but it doesn't matter. It still makes Pretend to Be Scully Play Time easier. And more fun.

And this short post is no longer short. It's the cell phones fault. It's just soooooooooooooo cool. And... no. I must stop here. And find work for the temp my assistant. (Sounds spiffy, eh?) I don't even have time to spell check this. Oh well... :)

Oh poo! There go my plans for that summer place in the Hamptons!

Do I sound all snobby saying 'oh poo'? I was going to type 'well shit!' but thought I'd step it up a notch in the class department for this post. Well, at least for the title of the post...

 
There's a bunch of drama going on in my life at the moment.

Drama = Crack
My Life = Skanky Crack Whore

My life just can't get enough of the stuff!

 
Well, actually, it's really not all that bad. Seriously. No need to worry. I might have exaggerated just a wee bit with the 'skanky' reference. (Sorry to all you crack whores out there. Didn't mean to stereotype.)

Because you see, my boyfriend got laid off from his job on Monday. Which sucks mucho much. Especially because there was nothing he could have done differently to avoid it. Other than not accept their job offer in the first place. But he didn't really realize what a crappy place it was until after he'd been working there for a few months.

The HB was a supervisor at some little warehouse place. He ran most of the departments there, and was getting paid the most (except for the manager of the whole building), and he was way overdue for a raise. So when the owners decided to do MAJOR cutbacks, because they're in serious need of cash RIGHT NOW, they got rid of the second biggest salary. Which in a messed up sort of way kind of makes sense. Doesn't make the owner any lower on the Prick Bastard scale.

The HB was pissed that they let him go while keeping the incompetent supervisor whose departments the HB kept taking under his wing so they started working right. Because sure, she was cheaper for them to keep, but she didn't know what she was doing. Surely the bosses could see that! The HB was also pissed because he was let go not more than a week after the owner's visit to the warehouse, where he talked about his plans for the company, and how he really hoped they included the HB. 'I really see you advancing more and becoming a huge asset blah blah blah.' Not more than a week later they start firing a lot of people. A lot of peons. And then the HB. Instead of looking ahead and investing for the future they cut back to get money in their pockets. Prick Bastards!

But it's all good. It truly is. Because now the HB is going to find a better job that pays him what he's worth and (hopefully) isn't populated with the same type of people he's worked with at the last (two) jobs he's had.

Yesterday the HB went back to the warehouse to return a few items (one being a company credit card I'm sure he was really tempted to use). While he was there he talked to the manager, and the manager gave him a bunch of phone numbers. Phone numbers of companies desperately looking for new supervisors to come run their warehouses. And he promised to tell these companies, if they called for a reference, that the HB practically ran the whole place. Nice former boss!

Also, while the HB was there, his former manager boss told him that the company was firing the rest of the management team (one of which was Incompetent Supervisor Lady). So the manager boss guy is the only management figure left. And he's freaking out because he won't be able to handle the workload. The company is walking a fine line with their customers, and if they fuck up anything the customers will bolt in a nanosecond, so there's no time to look for and hire really cheap labor to try and run things and keep things going as smooth as they were. It sounds like it would just be easier for the owner guy to shoot that warehouse in the head like the sick horse that it is and put it out of its misery.

So while it sucks that the HB has to look for another job, we're looking on the bright side of things. Because the bright side of things are yellow and shiny and happy. The HB wasn't happy where he was working. He'd been thinking a lot lately about finding a new job, but had wanted to stick it out there for a least a two years. This is just the little shove he needed to go out there and look.

I'm a little worried that money will get even tighter than it has been around here for awhile. There's not much room for constriction around here. I'll be paying rent and the bills for at least a month or two, but I know I'll be able to handle it. As well as handle all the debt and money the HB owes that by some freakish act of karma or murphy's fucking law or what-have-you that has suddenly piled up a month before the loss of his job.

(AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!)

But yeah, everything will work out fine. And with out really trying hard the HB has already gone on a job interview. He put out the feelers the day after he was let go, let some contacts he had through work know he was looking, and after only a couple of days he's got some leads. And they're all saying that this is the time to be looking for a job, at least in his field. Hopefully they're not yanking his chain too hard. We'll find out soon enough in a few weeks just how open the job field.

*crosses finger, toes, eyes, butt cheeks, nose hairs, boobs, ...*

Getting my Vitamin C Groove on

I am currently drinking chunky orange juice. It's kind of... uh... interesting. The chunks are frozen bits of orange juice, because the little carton of oj is in the process of thawing/defrosting/becoming not frozen. So the chunks are nothing gross like bugs or super radioactive mold spores or anything. But still... orange juice isn't supposed to have anything more solid than pulp in it. So encountering the ice chunks is a little weird. But hey, its all about the 160% vitamin C intake BAY-BEE! woo!