Would you rather...

1. wear your hair like liberace OR telly savalas?

Well, I've seen pictures of myself in a swim cap, so I know I'd look pretty funny without any hair. More so than with a Liberace 'do, I think. Besides, I could so rock the Liberace 'do.

2. be world famous for your black velvet paintings OR for your grilled cheese sandwiches?

While I would have really spectacular grilled cheese sandwiches (my onion and hot dog supreme sandwich being the most famous of famous cheese sandwiches ever!!!) I'd rather be world famous for my black velvet paintings.

Because not everyone can enjoy cheese. Some are allergic to it.

But black velvet is universal. Everyone can enjoy the awesome beauty of black velvet paintings!

3. smell like a water buffalo OR old cheese?

Uh... I'd rather smell like old cheese. Because that's a smell I could explain.

"Oh, that smell? That's... uh... I left some cheese in the fridge a couple years ago and it spontaneously combusted the other day and I haven't been able to clean it all up yet."

It'd be harder to explain away the smell of water buffalo.

I think.

I mean, it's not like I've had any experience with that sort of thing. Sheesh!

4. eat monkey brain OR kitten?

Monkey brain. Reason? Er... less fur. And, oh yeah, eating kitties is just WRONG!