I get stuff done. No really, I do!

Because I have nothing interesting to write about at the moment (other than the snot that is STILL taking up residence in my body), I shall share a very entertaining correspondence session I had with some fellow coworkers yesterday.


From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 11:42 AM
To: Mr. Desk Neighbor; New Girl; Jack
Subject: Award Time

And award for Most Retarded Parents of The Year < tm>goes to these people:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/lifestylebritainnames

"The little girl's mother Maria, in keeping with her boxing-mad family's bizarre tradition, decided to give her 25 middle names - all culled from the greatest exponents inside the ring."

Seriously. Why are parents so cruel?

Actually, after reading the article I found better candidates. I saw a link on the side to a video with the following explanation:
"New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son '4real,' saying numerals are not allowed. (June 22)"

That's just too stupid for words.


From: Jack
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 11:42 AM
To: Mr. Desk Neighbor; New Girl; Lisa

thank you for this important information. Don’t you have any data validation to do?

jeez


From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:07 PM
To: Mr. Desk Neighbor; New Girl; Jack

Well apparently you don't pay attention to your emails very well. There is nothing to validate at this moment. In regards to SAP. So in order to fulfill my data validating needs I have been forced to look elsewhere, and am currently validating AP news data.

Thank you for your concern in regards to this matter.


From: New Girl
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:07 PM
To: Lisa and only Lisa

You go Girl !!!!


From: Jack
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:12 PM
To: The Gang

Thank you for the clarification. Perhaps you would like a handy tip sheet on e-mail etiquette. You may find it useful.


From: Mr. Desk Neighbor
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:12 PM
To: The Gang

I've got $10 on the Purchaser in the third round.

Note for Clarification for all you folks following along at home: Purchaser = me!


From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:17 PM
To: The Gang

Thank you for your quick response. That would be most appreciated, though I am not convinced of the so called usefulness of this tip sheet. Have you, in fact, read it? I find no evidence of such in your correspondence.


From: Jack
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:19 PM
To: The Gang

Thank you for your thoughts of the aforementioned "Sheet of proper Email Etiquette" hereinafter and heretofore known as "tip sheet." Whereas we feel the litigious and castigious nature of your previous messages bespoke a hint of negativity and therefore hostility, we respectfully request that furtherheretomore you refrain from mentioning the aforementioned tip sheet, lest problems of pride and prestige beseech you hereinafter.


From: Jack
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:25 PM
To: The Gang



An aside from the peanut gallery: Awe, look at that... isn't that cute? He astricked out the naughty words to preserve my poor little sensibilities. I mean, its not like he thought the doctored version would save his ass from getting fired or anything.

"Well Jack, we saw the email and thought we'd have to let you go for improper use of profanity in the work place, but on further review all we can see are those damn asterisks. Well played son, well played!"


From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:28 PM
To: The Gang

Thank you for your thank you. Might I inquire into the identities of this "we" that you speak of? Are we being visited by the voices again? And if I am forevermore never to mention the previously knicknamed 'tip sheet' am I also to be hindered from the use of the phrase "Sheet of Proper Email Etiquette". If so, I may have to look into changing my middle names from "Girl of The Many Sheets of Proper Email Etiquette" to something plain. Like Jane.


From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:30 PM
To: The Gang

You want PIE? Well...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



From: Jack
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:31 PM
To: The Gang

The next email is hard to show in its entirety so that you understand the full force of it. It was this image...


...repeated over 100 times.

Seriously, for research into this post, and because I was suddenly curious, I tried counting all the little folder garps. I stopped counting at 50 and I wasn't even halfway down the page.

The whole thing looked like this (though severly minimized so it fits... and not this color but for some reason frickin paint wouldn't save as jpeg and bmp frelled it up even more, stupid piece of crap program)



I almost called defeat after this one. I mean, how can you top not just one garp, but a whole wall of garp?! All 3 frickin MB of email space worth of it. Well, as I was typing up my white flag of truce it hit me. (The idea, not the email). It was time to pull out the big guns.


From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:51 PM
To: The Gang




From: Jack
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007 1:28 PM
To: Lisa

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s the synthesis of garp, cartman and haysus!!!!


Note the time delay between the last three posts. We were getting distracted by real work. At least I was. That, and the fact that its not easy to whip a talking jesus out your ass. I mean, Jack's a pro at that kind of stuff, but it takes me time to finesse things. Like finding just the right speech bubble.

But anywho, moral to the story is that I won. And there the fun stopped for the rest of the work day.

And no Jack, I'm still not validating any damn data. =P