1) people can be so mean to their kitty cats. (teehee)
(link via tj)
2) I'm drinking very hoity-toity water right now. It's Acqua Panna and it comes, as the label reads, "From the Hills of Tuscany". Pretty freaking wow, eh? Yeah, that's what I thought. I was expecting it, the water, to taste... oh I don't know... foreign. Or somehow better... richer... tastier. It tastes good, nice and crisp and very quenching, but it also tastes pretty much like a lot of other bottled waters I've drank. (Except for the brand that rhymes with Peefina. That shit is just nasty. Bleagh.)
But even though it doesn't taste particularly fancy, I still feel fancy drinking it. Because come on! It's from the 'hills of Tuscany' and I've never been anywhere near Tuscany! If I can't go to Tuscany, I'll drink its water and dream.
And no, I didn't go out of my way and actually pay a fancy amount of money for fancy water in a fancy looking bottle from a fancy little foreign town with fancy little hills. I'm not that kind of girl.
It's a, how you say, work perk. ;)
Other companies might give away hundred dollar bonus and prizes for showing up every other Tuesday and coveted covered parking spots to Employees of the Month but at my company I get free water.
Score!
Friday, August 12, 2005
Maybe when I get up to a hundred I'll finally cave
Reason #62 why I want a camera phone: on my way to work today, while I was stopped at a red light, I was looking at the car in front of me and noticed that his 'hey look at me I'm so patriotic I've got a big fucking ribbon sticker on my car' was not red/white/blue or yellow, like those stickers normally are. So I looked closer and saw that his black and green ribbon sticker read as such: SUPPORT ROAD HEAD. As incredibly high as this ranks on the male bs meter, it made me laugh out loud. And it made me wish I had a camera handy to record the view for posterity.
Reason #61 came into existence while we were waiting for the Barry Manilow concert to start. The place was packed, we were all in our seats, counting down the seconds, and disco music was playing over the speakers. At the top of the hour the show hadn't started. The natives were getting restless. Then a particularly groovething-shaking song came on which inspired one of the ladies a few rows in front of us (who was there with about ten of her girlfriends) to stand up and boogie. And boy could she boogie! She was fantastic! All kinds of people around us started pulling out their cameras (both cell and non cell) and I wished for the umpteenth time that I had a camera phone. One of these days I'll get one. Just as soon as I'm offered a free one. :) Either that or I need to talk Santa into giving me a tiny little super powerful digital camera that I can slip into my pocket like a cell phone for xmas. Oh Santa baby...
Reason #61 came into existence while we were waiting for the Barry Manilow concert to start. The place was packed, we were all in our seats, counting down the seconds, and disco music was playing over the speakers. At the top of the hour the show hadn't started. The natives were getting restless. Then a particularly groovething-shaking song came on which inspired one of the ladies a few rows in front of us (who was there with about ten of her girlfriends) to stand up and boogie. And boy could she boogie! She was fantastic! All kinds of people around us started pulling out their cameras (both cell and non cell) and I wished for the umpteenth time that I had a camera phone. One of these days I'll get one. Just as soon as I'm offered a free one. :) Either that or I need to talk Santa into giving me a tiny little super powerful digital camera that I can slip into my pocket like a cell phone for xmas. Oh Santa baby...
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Potential eyeball revolt and brain mutiny, evil dashes with hidden agendas, and morons on conference calls. In other words, just another day at work.
I'm trying to decide between several options today:
Option A) Work on cleaning up a backlog of work in the system. It's not a pressing issue, yet. But it annoys me. Immensely. I can't do what I'd like to be doing in the system until I'm caught up.
Some days it feels like I'll never be caught up. With anything. At work. Outside of work. I'm just a hamster speed walking on the wheel of life, not going anywhere, and not having any pretty scenery to get distracted by in the processes. I can see the end goal. I know what it looks like, all shiny and sparkly and spangly and lit up with green and pink neon lights. I know what the end goal looks like. And it looks as far away as ever. Because as fast as I go, the wheel just keeps on spinning in the same pile of hamster shit...
Damn. That sounds kind of depressing. Sigh. Don't mind me. Just having a small case of poor-me-itis. I'll take a shot of penichillin' and everything will be fine. No, not fine. Fantabulous!
Because as the old saying goes... slow and steady baby steps wins the race for the unfortunate early worm who's not crafty enough to avoid hungry predators. Or something like that.
Option B) Plot my revenge against the evil Dr. Dash
See, here at work, there's this software we use to record things and order things and yadda yadda yadda. I am the administrator of said software. Not because I'm supa smaht or anything (which I am, but that's beside the point) but because I've worked on it longer than anyone else in my group. (Except for Old Guy Ken - who probably wouldn't appreciate me calling him Old Guy, but the only other nickname I can think of for him is Guy Who Likes To Marry A Lot [he's on number five at the moment]). So I'm the administrator of this really sucky program. And I don't use that term loosely.
The program's been crapping out on us a lot lately. It does weird things that don't make sense, that its never done before. It screws things up and it... well, it’s just a big pain in the ass. We'll be in a meeting, and someone will complain about something the program is doing, and they'll ask the eternal question, 'why is it doing this?' and I, as the administrator, step in duteously and say, with all the authority that my title and expertise affords me:
"Because its retarded."
That is truly the only answer one can give without getting all technical and shit about faulty programming (and since I'm not a programmer or software designer the technical shit is not a part of my vocabulary). The latest problem with the program is really a nonproblem. But its vexing the hell out of me nonetheless.
A dash keeps appearing as a record in one of the lookup tables. So I delete it. Sometime later (anywhere between an hour to several days) it reappears. So I delete it. Hence the continuance of La Cycle De Viscous. When the dash appears in other tables, there's usually a reason, and it usually screws everything up. In this particular case, its not doing anything. Well, other than taunting me with its flagrant dashiness that is.
Bastard.
I've started a log. An "Evil Dash Log". And so far, according to log records, I've deleted the dash record 4 times in the last three hours. I think that means there's something seriously wrong with the system. And, for the record, I'd like to state that IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
When I complained about the dash to the HB a couple of weeks ago (yes, its been a problem for awhile now) he told me I should leave it alone, because obviously the system wants it there, and deleting it might not be the best thing to do. I see the logic in that. I do. But I want that damn dash to die! Die die die!
Option C) Work on some cubicle art.
The latest addiction to my cubicle wall is a calendar of sorts. It lists the days of the week, from Sunday to Saturday, along with the corresponding... uh... thing that everyone is working on. To class it up a bit I sprinkled some Dilbert characters around the sides. Because the longer I work here, the funnier Dilbert gets.
The Boss's Boss saw it, and liked it, and asked me to email him a copy. I said an enthusiastic sure with prideful giddiness. Then I thought, crap, I hope he doesn't think I spent actually company time making this. Did he ask me to send him a copy to keep as evidence? It's crap evidence, really, because I can just say I made it at home. (All real evidence to the contrary has now been deleted).
Former Desk Neighbor Sal is now my desk neighbor again, sitting in the little cubicle station behind me. Yesterday he suggested I make a little sign that says "When in doubt... hit delete!" We have so much junk in our system, so many bad records, that it would be easier to wipe everything out and just start over. Most of the people in my group that are in the trenches, those doing the clean up, feel that this is a sound course of action. But our boss doesn't see it that way. Sigh. So we didn't do a batch wipe out clean out start from scratch and do it right this time. (The guy who set this system up years ago totally screwed us over in this never ending battle - but it is getting better at least.)
So I asked Sal a question, what should we do about this problem with this thing, and his answer was: When in doubt... hit delete! It doesn't rhyme, but its still pretty catchy. It's been a favorite phrase of mine for the last couple of months when dealing with this system.
So I want to make up a little something with the above work slogan (or a similar but catchier slogan), including a picture of keyboard delete key, so I can add it to my cubicle and chuckle at the brilliance of it all.
Option D) Go to the meeting scheduled in five minutes.
I think I'll go with Option D. For now. Then I'll do Option A until either my eyes bug out on me or my brain mutinies. Then I'll play around with Option C. And then maybe I'll get to all the other stuff I have to do. Because Option C, of course, is a must do. Naturally. :)
Actually, I just got done with Option D (I wasn't fast enough and couldn't post before everyone came to my desk for the conference call.) The call was so painfully long and boring and frustratingly filled with morons that it was actually quite fun. In a twisted workplace sort of way.
For instance, at one point during the call, the Leader of the Call asked for progress updates from all the facilities. I told Zack, who was sitting right next to me, while the phone was on 'mute', that we were about 80 to 85 percent done in this particular area, which he conveniently didn't hear. When it was our turn to chime in, I got phone shy, which was accompanied by a case of the quiet giggles, so Zack chimed in for us and said, "We're a hundred percent done!" This was followed by a 'Way to go!' from our boss and an 'All right!' from Call Leader Guy. After he muted the phone again I laughed and said, "I can't believe you just lied to make us look better." This horrified him. It truly did. Which in turn amused me. For some silly reason he thought I'd said we were all done. "Well, with part of it we are," I said. "It's just this other part that's tricky. I think we're all done. But I'm not sure." Next time I told him to say "I believe we're all done". Like a few other people on the call did. That way its not a flat out "100%" lie.
But at least his answer was better than my nonanswer silent giggle. This conference call, combined with a lack of consumed lunch, made me incredibly "slap happy".
Now I must go find something to eat before I giggle myself into a coma.
Option A) Work on cleaning up a backlog of work in the system. It's not a pressing issue, yet. But it annoys me. Immensely. I can't do what I'd like to be doing in the system until I'm caught up.
Some days it feels like I'll never be caught up. With anything. At work. Outside of work. I'm just a hamster speed walking on the wheel of life, not going anywhere, and not having any pretty scenery to get distracted by in the processes. I can see the end goal. I know what it looks like, all shiny and sparkly and spangly and lit up with green and pink neon lights. I know what the end goal looks like. And it looks as far away as ever. Because as fast as I go, the wheel just keeps on spinning in the same pile of hamster shit...
Damn. That sounds kind of depressing. Sigh. Don't mind me. Just having a small case of poor-me-itis. I'll take a shot of penichillin' and everything will be fine. No, not fine. Fantabulous!
Because as the old saying goes... slow and steady baby steps wins the race for the unfortunate early worm who's not crafty enough to avoid hungry predators. Or something like that.
Option B) Plot my revenge against the evil Dr. Dash
See, here at work, there's this software we use to record things and order things and yadda yadda yadda. I am the administrator of said software. Not because I'm supa smaht or anything (which I am, but that's beside the point) but because I've worked on it longer than anyone else in my group. (Except for Old Guy Ken - who probably wouldn't appreciate me calling him Old Guy, but the only other nickname I can think of for him is Guy Who Likes To Marry A Lot [he's on number five at the moment]). So I'm the administrator of this really sucky program. And I don't use that term loosely.
The program's been crapping out on us a lot lately. It does weird things that don't make sense, that its never done before. It screws things up and it... well, it’s just a big pain in the ass. We'll be in a meeting, and someone will complain about something the program is doing, and they'll ask the eternal question, 'why is it doing this?' and I, as the administrator, step in duteously and say, with all the authority that my title and expertise affords me:
"Because its retarded."
That is truly the only answer one can give without getting all technical and shit about faulty programming (and since I'm not a programmer or software designer the technical shit is not a part of my vocabulary). The latest problem with the program is really a nonproblem. But its vexing the hell out of me nonetheless.
A dash keeps appearing as a record in one of the lookup tables. So I delete it. Sometime later (anywhere between an hour to several days) it reappears. So I delete it. Hence the continuance of La Cycle De Viscous. When the dash appears in other tables, there's usually a reason, and it usually screws everything up. In this particular case, its not doing anything. Well, other than taunting me with its flagrant dashiness that is.
Bastard.
I've started a log. An "Evil Dash Log". And so far, according to log records, I've deleted the dash record 4 times in the last three hours. I think that means there's something seriously wrong with the system. And, for the record, I'd like to state that IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
When I complained about the dash to the HB a couple of weeks ago (yes, its been a problem for awhile now) he told me I should leave it alone, because obviously the system wants it there, and deleting it might not be the best thing to do. I see the logic in that. I do. But I want that damn dash to die! Die die die!
Option C) Work on some cubicle art.
The latest addiction to my cubicle wall is a calendar of sorts. It lists the days of the week, from Sunday to Saturday, along with the corresponding... uh... thing that everyone is working on. To class it up a bit I sprinkled some Dilbert characters around the sides. Because the longer I work here, the funnier Dilbert gets.
The Boss's Boss saw it, and liked it, and asked me to email him a copy. I said an enthusiastic sure with prideful giddiness. Then I thought, crap, I hope he doesn't think I spent actually company time making this. Did he ask me to send him a copy to keep as evidence? It's crap evidence, really, because I can just say I made it at home. (All real evidence to the contrary has now been deleted).
Former Desk Neighbor Sal is now my desk neighbor again, sitting in the little cubicle station behind me. Yesterday he suggested I make a little sign that says "When in doubt... hit delete!" We have so much junk in our system, so many bad records, that it would be easier to wipe everything out and just start over. Most of the people in my group that are in the trenches, those doing the clean up, feel that this is a sound course of action. But our boss doesn't see it that way. Sigh. So we didn't do a batch wipe out clean out start from scratch and do it right this time. (The guy who set this system up years ago totally screwed us over in this never ending battle - but it is getting better at least.)
So I asked Sal a question, what should we do about this problem with this thing, and his answer was: When in doubt... hit delete! It doesn't rhyme, but its still pretty catchy. It's been a favorite phrase of mine for the last couple of months when dealing with this system.
So I want to make up a little something with the above work slogan (or a similar but catchier slogan), including a picture of keyboard delete key, so I can add it to my cubicle and chuckle at the brilliance of it all.
Option D) Go to the meeting scheduled in five minutes.
I think I'll go with Option D. For now. Then I'll do Option A until either my eyes bug out on me or my brain mutinies. Then I'll play around with Option C. And then maybe I'll get to all the other stuff I have to do. Because Option C, of course, is a must do. Naturally. :)
Actually, I just got done with Option D (I wasn't fast enough and couldn't post before everyone came to my desk for the conference call.) The call was so painfully long and boring and frustratingly filled with morons that it was actually quite fun. In a twisted workplace sort of way.
For instance, at one point during the call, the Leader of the Call asked for progress updates from all the facilities. I told Zack, who was sitting right next to me, while the phone was on 'mute', that we were about 80 to 85 percent done in this particular area, which he conveniently didn't hear. When it was our turn to chime in, I got phone shy, which was accompanied by a case of the quiet giggles, so Zack chimed in for us and said, "We're a hundred percent done!" This was followed by a 'Way to go!' from our boss and an 'All right!' from Call Leader Guy. After he muted the phone again I laughed and said, "I can't believe you just lied to make us look better." This horrified him. It truly did. Which in turn amused me. For some silly reason he thought I'd said we were all done. "Well, with part of it we are," I said. "It's just this other part that's tricky. I think we're all done. But I'm not sure." Next time I told him to say "I believe we're all done". Like a few other people on the call did. That way its not a flat out "100%" lie.
But at least his answer was better than my nonanswer silent giggle. This conference call, combined with a lack of consumed lunch, made me incredibly "slap happy".
Now I must go find something to eat before I giggle myself into a coma.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I'm feeling the frustrations of a thousand goats.
I have no idea what the above post title means. The guy sitting behind me said it a moment ago and it made me giggle. Because I'm losing my mind.
Because bzz bzz bzz I'm a busy little bee today. Just like yesterday. Sigh.
I'd love to write about this weekend, about how much fun I had in Las Vegas, about how much I love hanging out with my family, about how I laughed until I hurt (on several occasions), about how much money I lost, about the celebrity I saw ("How come you always see the celebrities and I don't?!" said my mom as I gloated) and about how wonderfully awesome Barry Manilow is. I'd like to write about it all, but I just don't have the time right now. Hopefully I'll get around to it later in the week, even if it is just a rundown of highlights.
But for now I'm busy playing a bit of catch up at work. Which is hard to do since the boss's boss has a new project for me to work on because it's taken priority over the Must Be Done Now's and the Should Have Been Done Last Friday's. When the boss's boss asked me when I could have this thing ready for him I went and told him the truth. Silly me. Didn't pad it with an extra day or anything. Sheesh. I really need to be work on my Quick Lie To The Boss reflexes.
While I've got a hundred different work related Things To Do floating around in my head, fighting for dominance ("Do me first!" "No! Do me first!") I've got a bunch of other stuff bounce-house bouncing around in the brain. This 'other stuff' is school related. After a... *tries to do complicated math after long brain-draining day* more than a couple of years hiatus from college, I'm finally jumping backon the wagon in the saddle. Go me!
Only thing is, I just had to go and get this 'hey, I want to go to this school and major in this subject and I want to start right now!' kind of epiphany at the last minute. So I'm up against some deadlines. And its stressing me out juuuuust a wee bit.
One thing that's got me worried are these Personal Statement questions I have to answer on my application. Because I don't know what to write about! Well, I do have a few ideas... I just want to make sure my answers are really, really good, you know? Because what if it comes down to me and some other person and we both have excellent transcripts and we both want to major in an English related field but I'm the one with the worstest grammar? I'm good at writing bullshit answers though, I should be able to manage. Yeah, I know, I'll manage just fine. Just as soon as I sit my ass down and do it. :) (Which will be tonight, no matter how long it takes me!)
Because bzz bzz bzz I'm a busy little bee today. Just like yesterday. Sigh.
I'd love to write about this weekend, about how much fun I had in Las Vegas, about how much I love hanging out with my family, about how I laughed until I hurt (on several occasions), about how much money I lost, about the celebrity I saw ("How come you always see the celebrities and I don't?!" said my mom as I gloated) and about how wonderfully awesome Barry Manilow is. I'd like to write about it all, but I just don't have the time right now. Hopefully I'll get around to it later in the week, even if it is just a rundown of highlights.
But for now I'm busy playing a bit of catch up at work. Which is hard to do since the boss's boss has a new project for me to work on because it's taken priority over the Must Be Done Now's and the Should Have Been Done Last Friday's. When the boss's boss asked me when I could have this thing ready for him I went and told him the truth. Silly me. Didn't pad it with an extra day or anything. Sheesh. I really need to be work on my Quick Lie To The Boss reflexes.
While I've got a hundred different work related Things To Do floating around in my head, fighting for dominance ("Do me first!" "No! Do me first!") I've got a bunch of other stuff bounce-house bouncing around in the brain. This 'other stuff' is school related. After a... *tries to do complicated math after long brain-draining day* more than a couple of years hiatus from college, I'm finally jumping back
Only thing is, I just had to go and get this 'hey, I want to go to this school and major in this subject and I want to start right now!' kind of epiphany at the last minute. So I'm up against some deadlines. And its stressing me out juuuuust a wee bit.
One thing that's got me worried are these Personal Statement questions I have to answer on my application. Because I don't know what to write about! Well, I do have a few ideas... I just want to make sure my answers are really, really good, you know? Because what if it comes down to me and some other person and we both have excellent transcripts and we both want to major in an English related field but I'm the one with the worstest grammar? I'm good at writing bullshit answers though, I should be able to manage. Yeah, I know, I'll manage just fine. Just as soon as I sit my ass down and do it. :) (Which will be tonight, no matter how long it takes me!)
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Her name was Lisa, she was a slots girl
A couple of weekends ago my mom called me from the beach, mainly to rub it in that she was at the beach and I was not, but also to talk about this upcoming Vegas trip (which starts officially for me at noon today!). She got offered two free rooms at the Hilton in Las Vegas for three nights. Sweeeeet. And since my brother moved to Las Vegas just two weeks ago we figured the free rooms would be a good excuse to go see him. And the cousin he's moved in with.
And Barry Manilow.
That's right. I'm going to see Barry Manilow in concert bay-bee! Woo!
My mom is really excited about seeing him. She loves Barry and he's the only one left on her List Of People To See Before I (Or They) Die. She saw Neil Diamond (who was on her list) a couple of years ago. (A fact which I'm still slightly bitter about, since her and the rest of my family waited until I had gone off to college so they could go without even bothering to invite me! Ratfinks. The whole lot of them!) She's also seen Elvis (another from her list) be she saw him a long time ago (which makes sense, since he died a long time ago, heh.)
As we talked, she realized there were actually three people still on her List. Another person that's a Must See for her is Don Rickles. I love watching the Dean Martin Roast infomercials mainly because of him, so I'd love to see him perform as well. Since he's in Las Vegas a lot, maybe we'll see him one of the nights we're not seeing Barry. (*squeeeee*)
Also on my mom's list is Paul McCartney. I couldn't care less about seeing him in concert, but then I never had a little girl crush on him like my mom did 'back in the day'. She still has her first ever Beatles album. The cover of which is covered in little girl doodles and lovey-dovey swirls and curlicues and sweet nothings scribbled all over Paul's face. And John's face. And George's face too. Ringo's face's graffiti wasn't so flattering :) But I digress...
So there are three people still on my mom's List, and the Big One is Barry Manilow. We have tickets to see him... Saturday night I think. They're not great tickets, since we bought them at the last minute. Mom was trying to plan this weekend around mine and the HB's schedule, along with another cousin and his wife's hospital intern schedule. Unfortunately, I don't think the cousin and his wife will be joining us. Bummer.
But more Barry Manilow for me then! Yeah!
Holy butterflies Batman I can't wait! I don't have a List of people I Must See, but I'm certainly looking forward to seeing Barry Manilow perform. He does, after all,
write the songs that make the whole world sing :) :)
But first there's work. There's a conference call/sql training class I want to be in on at 11:00 am, and then at noon, even if the call is running long, I'm packing my shit up, turning everything off, then running out of here like a bat out of a Meat Loaf concert (I think I'd actually like to go to a Meat Loaf concert one day... )
The plan is this: get home at 12:30pm, get on the road no later than 1:00pm (and I still have to pack, eek!), and get to Las Vegas around 5:00pm. That time is based on leaving at 1, encountering moderate traffic, and one mini potty break, so I told my mom 'we'll be there around 6, give or take an hour.' Hopefully we get there early enough because we're going over to my cousin's house for dinner. After that, my only plans are to see Barry and win enough money to pay for my return trip to college. I'll settle for breaking even. The guys plan to play golf one day, which a true testament to the idiocy of men, and golfers, for wanting to whack balls with sticks in the godawful desert heat. Bleagh.
I know the HB doesn't plan to gamble much, because he doesn't have much to gamble with. If it was next week he'd be all over the poker tables, but this week hit him with a lot of bills. Darn it. I was hoping to ditch him and gamble with my mom. :) I win more when I gamble with her and almost always loose when I gamble with him. Though, come to think of it, the most I ever won (couple hundred) was with the HB... but that was my first time in Vegas (we were at State Line actually) so I attribute that win to Beginner's Luck, not Boyfriend Luck Vibes. Hopefully I win a enough to spot him a few hands. I'll be his sugar momma!
The HB has to work Sunday afternoon, so after a late night of partying hardy at the Manilow concert we'll be waking up early Sunday morning to drive back home. Hopefully I'll win enough to be the HB's sugar momma, pay for college, and a brand new jet to fly us all home. Yeah, that's what I'm setting my sites for. Because if you're going to dream, big.
Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire!
(Oooh! Note to Self: remember to bring Elvis CD for long car ride.)
And Barry Manilow.
That's right. I'm going to see Barry Manilow in concert bay-bee! Woo!
My mom is really excited about seeing him. She loves Barry and he's the only one left on her List Of People To See Before I (Or They) Die. She saw Neil Diamond (who was on her list) a couple of years ago. (A fact which I'm still slightly bitter about, since her and the rest of my family waited until I had gone off to college so they could go without even bothering to invite me! Ratfinks. The whole lot of them!) She's also seen Elvis (another from her list) be she saw him a long time ago (which makes sense, since he died a long time ago, heh.)
As we talked, she realized there were actually three people still on her List. Another person that's a Must See for her is Don Rickles. I love watching the Dean Martin Roast infomercials mainly because of him, so I'd love to see him perform as well. Since he's in Las Vegas a lot, maybe we'll see him one of the nights we're not seeing Barry. (*squeeeee*)
Also on my mom's list is Paul McCartney. I couldn't care less about seeing him in concert, but then I never had a little girl crush on him like my mom did 'back in the day'. She still has her first ever Beatles album. The cover of which is covered in little girl doodles and lovey-dovey swirls and curlicues and sweet nothings scribbled all over Paul's face. And John's face. And George's face too. Ringo's face's graffiti wasn't so flattering :) But I digress...
So there are three people still on my mom's List, and the Big One is Barry Manilow. We have tickets to see him... Saturday night I think. They're not great tickets, since we bought them at the last minute. Mom was trying to plan this weekend around mine and the HB's schedule, along with another cousin and his wife's hospital intern schedule. Unfortunately, I don't think the cousin and his wife will be joining us. Bummer.
But more Barry Manilow for me then! Yeah!
Holy butterflies Batman I can't wait! I don't have a List of people I Must See, but I'm certainly looking forward to seeing Barry Manilow perform. He does, after all,
write the songs that make the whole world sing :) :)But first there's work. There's a conference call/sql training class I want to be in on at 11:00 am, and then at noon, even if the call is running long, I'm packing my shit up, turning everything off, then running out of here like a bat out of a Meat Loaf concert (I think I'd actually like to go to a Meat Loaf concert one day... )
The plan is this: get home at 12:30pm, get on the road no later than 1:00pm (and I still have to pack, eek!), and get to Las Vegas around 5:00pm. That time is based on leaving at 1, encountering moderate traffic, and one mini potty break, so I told my mom 'we'll be there around 6, give or take an hour.' Hopefully we get there early enough because we're going over to my cousin's house for dinner. After that, my only plans are to see Barry and win enough money to pay for my return trip to college. I'll settle for breaking even. The guys plan to play golf one day, which a true testament to the idiocy of men, and golfers, for wanting to whack balls with sticks in the godawful desert heat. Bleagh.
I know the HB doesn't plan to gamble much, because he doesn't have much to gamble with. If it was next week he'd be all over the poker tables, but this week hit him with a lot of bills. Darn it. I was hoping to ditch him and gamble with my mom. :) I win more when I gamble with her and almost always loose when I gamble with him. Though, come to think of it, the most I ever won (couple hundred) was with the HB... but that was my first time in Vegas (we were at State Line actually) so I attribute that win to Beginner's Luck, not Boyfriend Luck Vibes. Hopefully I win a enough to spot him a few hands. I'll be his sugar momma!
The HB has to work Sunday afternoon, so after a late night of partying hardy at the Manilow concert we'll be waking up early Sunday morning to drive back home. Hopefully I'll win enough to be the HB's sugar momma, pay for college, and a brand new jet to fly us all home. Yeah, that's what I'm setting my sites for. Because if you're going to dream, big.
Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire!
(Oooh! Note to Self: remember to bring Elvis CD for long car ride.)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I'll be wearing my finest pipe-cleaner wig and all-leather superhero suit to the Annoying Celebrity Charity Dinner.
Would you rather...
1. have skin that feels like clay pottery OR hair that feels like pipe cleaners?
If my hair behaved like pipe cleaners I'd soooooo pick that option. But to just feel like pipe cleaners?
No. Thank. You.
The rough skin would be more tolerable than trying to fall asleep on a pile of pipe cleaners.
2. eat only food grown within 10 miles of an active nuclear facility OR only raw/uncooked food?
Eat food grown near a nuclear facility. I've always wanted to have super mutant powers.
Like having the ability to shoot pennies from the palm of my hand like Spiderman shoots his web. Because not only could I disable the bad guy(s) with my little Shooting Discs of Death, but I'd be leaving behind something for people to pick up and all day long they'd have good luck. That would be mighty spiffy.
3. have dinner with mike tyson OR dinner with paris hilton?
I'd rather have dinner with Paris. I believe she is the lesser of two evils. Unless she's bitten someone's ear off before and I just don't know about it.
4. wear rubber clothes over your regular clothes OR nothing but leather?
If it was wear 'nothing but rubber' I might consider it. But rubber over my clothes?
How tacky!
Now, as much as I'd consider the 'nuttin but rubba' outfit, I'd still choose to wear nothing but leather. It would help me segue into my next phase of life - the one where I do a one-woman-broadway-show as Lixie Dixie the Hula Hooping Dominatrix Juggler.
1. have skin that feels like clay pottery OR hair that feels like pipe cleaners?
If my hair behaved like pipe cleaners I'd soooooo pick that option. But to just feel like pipe cleaners?
No. Thank. You.
The rough skin would be more tolerable than trying to fall asleep on a pile of pipe cleaners.
2. eat only food grown within 10 miles of an active nuclear facility OR only raw/uncooked food?
Eat food grown near a nuclear facility. I've always wanted to have super mutant powers.
Like having the ability to shoot pennies from the palm of my hand like Spiderman shoots his web. Because not only could I disable the bad guy(s) with my little Shooting Discs of Death, but I'd be leaving behind something for people to pick up and all day long they'd have good luck. That would be mighty spiffy.
3. have dinner with mike tyson OR dinner with paris hilton?
I'd rather have dinner with Paris. I believe she is the lesser of two evils. Unless she's bitten someone's ear off before and I just don't know about it.
4. wear rubber clothes over your regular clothes OR nothing but leather?
If it was wear 'nothing but rubber' I might consider it. But rubber over my clothes?
How tacky!
Now, as much as I'd consider the 'nuttin but rubba' outfit, I'd still choose to wear nothing but leather. It would help me segue into my next phase of life - the one where I do a one-woman-broadway-show as Lixie Dixie the Hula Hooping Dominatrix Juggler.
Monday, August 01, 2005
About my optimism regarding my impending win at Blingo
I haven't won anything from the internet in awhile so I think I'm due. Sophomore year in college... (which was what? about 7 years ago?)... I won two different contests (the kind that you find by clicking on banner ads).
The first thing I won was a monthly movie poster giveaway (that I'd played for several months before actually winning). I won three movie posters from indie films I'd never heard of before, but at least I got to pick which three they were.
I picked the first poster because it was covered in cartoon drawings (more anime looking than Disney) and I love most things cartoonish (I say most because there's some freaky deaky cartoons out there that don't really float my boat). I can't remember the name of the film, and perusing through the movie poster site wasn't any help, so I'll have to find the poster (which is rolled up with all my other posters in some closet somewhere in my apartment) when I get home, because now I'm really curious.
The second poster I picked was from the movie Dream With The Fishes.
I picked this poster because it had two of my favorite things in the title (dreaming and fishies). It also had an awesome tagline ("An oddball odyssey about voyeurism, LSD and nude bowling!") at the bottom (which for some reason isn't featured in this picture.)
The third poster I picked was from the movie Hugo Pool.
I chose this poster because it featured a girl (which I am) wearing a bathing suit and goggles (which had been my sports 'uniform' for many years, and still was, at the time). Plus, it had the word 'pool' in the title, and I was on a swim team which meant I was at the pool constantly (or so it felt at times), so I thought hey, I swim in a pool and I'm a girl and have multiple pairs of goggles! It's perfect!
This last poster was a favorite among my male roommates (because what guy (that likes to look at girls) doesn't like looking at Alyssa Milano). But really, all three posters were pretty bitchin'.
Unfortunately though, I chose these three posters without first seeing this poster for Latin Boys Go To Hell. I either unfathomably missed it the first few months I entered the contest or it was offered only after I'd won. Figures, don't it? I tried to win the contest again, to win some slightly naughty looking posters with nekkid guys on them, but to no avail. Bummer that.
But my contest luck didn't fade away completely. It merely shifted from movie posters to actual movies.
The second thing I won from an internet contest was a copy of Caddyshack. This was a cool prize because I love that movie. ("I smell varmint poontang..."). While my brother prefers to emulate Happy Gilmore's run-up-to-the-ball-and-swing technique when playing golf, I prefer to emulate Chevy's zen approach. :) Boy, it sure is fun to play golf with my brother. Especially when he gets mad and throws his clubs in the trees. Because its only then that can I beat him. :)
So anyways, I won these prizes within months of each other and thought the internet was the best thing since assless chaps! When I told my mom about the second prize she said, "since your so lucky why don't you try and win a car." And I thought, Well duh! Home come I hadn't thought about that?
Actually, the first thing she said was something I'd heard many times before. "I never win anything. Well, I did win that field trip in elementary school... but it got canceled. And I did win that set of steak knives at the fair... but they never got delivered. So those doesn't count. *big hearty 'poor me' sigh* I never win anything."
I said the appropriate ahhh-poor-baby's and a few life-just-ain't-fair's but I couldn't really relate. Because I'd won prizes before the movie posters, and a prize is a prize no matter how low on the Awesome Scale they are.
When I was little I won a raffle at a swim meet. My prize? Applesauce. A freaking jar of applesauce. What kind of a stupid-ass prize is that for a raffle?! I could have won a cool toy or a big pool-floatie-seat-thingy or a gift certificate to some fancy restaurant. But nooooo. I won a jar of applesauce instead. But hey, at least I like applesauce, right? Could have been a jar of lima beans or something. Bleagh.
This other time (when I was about 10 yrs old) I won a big Mickey Mouse doll. It was a nice doll and all, but I could have won some serious prizes! We were at Disneyland, and there was a huge anniversary celebration going on, and when you walked in through the turnstiles they handed out tickets, of which random ones were prize winners. Mine was a winner so I got to go up on this big fancy stage thing in front of all these people and pull this big lever. Fun stuff! Some guy with a microphone was on stage with me, but I had no idea what he was saying for after I pulled the lever I was too busy watching the different prizes light up in a circle, going around and around until the light slowed down, eventually landing on my prize.
Now, I could have won a car for crimeny's sake. I could have won a couple thousand dollars in stocks or bonds or something (I was about ten years old at the time and had no sense of money, but I knew the picture of all those stacks of money meant the prize was worth A LOT). There were some other really heavy prizes listed on that board, plus some cheesy lame ass prizes like Mickey dolls.
So I'm standing there, getting down right dizzy at the thought that I could actually win a car. Or money! I was picturing the car in my parents driveway, just sitting there, waiting for me to be old enough to get my license. I figured I'd be nice and let my parents drive it in the mean time and...
Then the freaking light stops on 'Plush Doll'. WTF???!!! What a rip off!!!
I think it was rigged. Seriously. Someone with their finger on the stop button somewhere saw how young I was and figured I'd rather have a dolly.
Bastards.
So where was I? Oh yeah... so I took my mom's advice and tried to win a car. I couldn't believe I was only entering small-potato contests when there were some main courses out there for me and my lucky streak to devour. I entered every dang car-give-away contest I could find (and there were many).
And that's when I got introduced to the wonderful world of email spam. And I thought the internet was the worst thing since in Howard Stern in ass-less chaps.
I haven't won a prize sense.
*big hearty 'poor me' sigh*
But, fortunately, I won't be able to say that for long. 1) because I'm going to win at Blingo any day now and 2) I'm leaving for Las Vegas on Thursday. And I'm feeling lucky. I wouldn't mind winning a car while I'm there. Or anything else that's more expensive than a doll or movie poster or jar of applesauce that I can exchange for heaps of cash. :)
The first thing I won was a monthly movie poster giveaway (that I'd played for several months before actually winning). I won three movie posters from indie films I'd never heard of before, but at least I got to pick which three they were.
I picked the first poster because it was covered in cartoon drawings (more anime looking than Disney) and I love most things cartoonish (I say most because there's some freaky deaky cartoons out there that don't really float my boat). I can't remember the name of the film, and perusing through the movie poster site wasn't any help, so I'll have to find the poster (which is rolled up with all my other posters in some closet somewhere in my apartment) when I get home, because now I'm really curious.
The second poster I picked was from the movie Dream With The Fishes.
I picked this poster because it had two of my favorite things in the title (dreaming and fishies). It also had an awesome tagline ("An oddball odyssey about voyeurism, LSD and nude bowling!") at the bottom (which for some reason isn't featured in this picture.)The third poster I picked was from the movie Hugo Pool.
I chose this poster because it featured a girl (which I am) wearing a bathing suit and goggles (which had been my sports 'uniform' for many years, and still was, at the time). Plus, it had the word 'pool' in the title, and I was on a swim team which meant I was at the pool constantly (or so it felt at times), so I thought hey, I swim in a pool and I'm a girl and have multiple pairs of goggles! It's perfect!This last poster was a favorite among my male roommates (because what guy (that likes to look at girls) doesn't like looking at Alyssa Milano). But really, all three posters were pretty bitchin'.
Unfortunately though, I chose these three posters without first seeing this poster for Latin Boys Go To Hell. I either unfathomably missed it the first few months I entered the contest or it was offered only after I'd won. Figures, don't it? I tried to win the contest again, to win some slightly naughty looking posters with nekkid guys on them, but to no avail. Bummer that.
But my contest luck didn't fade away completely. It merely shifted from movie posters to actual movies.
The second thing I won from an internet contest was a copy of Caddyshack. This was a cool prize because I love that movie. ("I smell varmint poontang..."). While my brother prefers to emulate Happy Gilmore's run-up-to-the-ball-and-swing technique when playing golf, I prefer to emulate Chevy's zen approach. :) Boy, it sure is fun to play golf with my brother. Especially when he gets mad and throws his clubs in the trees. Because its only then that can I beat him. :)
So anyways, I won these prizes within months of each other and thought the internet was the best thing since assless chaps! When I told my mom about the second prize she said, "since your so lucky why don't you try and win a car." And I thought, Well duh! Home come I hadn't thought about that?
Actually, the first thing she said was something I'd heard many times before. "I never win anything. Well, I did win that field trip in elementary school... but it got canceled. And I did win that set of steak knives at the fair... but they never got delivered. So those doesn't count. *big hearty 'poor me' sigh* I never win anything."
I said the appropriate ahhh-poor-baby's and a few life-just-ain't-fair's but I couldn't really relate. Because I'd won prizes before the movie posters, and a prize is a prize no matter how low on the Awesome Scale they are.
When I was little I won a raffle at a swim meet. My prize? Applesauce. A freaking jar of applesauce. What kind of a stupid-ass prize is that for a raffle?! I could have won a cool toy or a big pool-floatie-seat-thingy or a gift certificate to some fancy restaurant. But nooooo. I won a jar of applesauce instead. But hey, at least I like applesauce, right? Could have been a jar of lima beans or something. Bleagh.
This other time (when I was about 10 yrs old) I won a big Mickey Mouse doll. It was a nice doll and all, but I could have won some serious prizes! We were at Disneyland, and there was a huge anniversary celebration going on, and when you walked in through the turnstiles they handed out tickets, of which random ones were prize winners. Mine was a winner so I got to go up on this big fancy stage thing in front of all these people and pull this big lever. Fun stuff! Some guy with a microphone was on stage with me, but I had no idea what he was saying for after I pulled the lever I was too busy watching the different prizes light up in a circle, going around and around until the light slowed down, eventually landing on my prize.
Now, I could have won a car for crimeny's sake. I could have won a couple thousand dollars in stocks or bonds or something (I was about ten years old at the time and had no sense of money, but I knew the picture of all those stacks of money meant the prize was worth A LOT). There were some other really heavy prizes listed on that board, plus some cheesy lame ass prizes like Mickey dolls.
So I'm standing there, getting down right dizzy at the thought that I could actually win a car. Or money! I was picturing the car in my parents driveway, just sitting there, waiting for me to be old enough to get my license. I figured I'd be nice and let my parents drive it in the mean time and...
Then the freaking light stops on 'Plush Doll'. WTF???!!! What a rip off!!!
I think it was rigged. Seriously. Someone with their finger on the stop button somewhere saw how young I was and figured I'd rather have a dolly.
Bastards.
So where was I? Oh yeah... so I took my mom's advice and tried to win a car. I couldn't believe I was only entering small-potato contests when there were some main courses out there for me and my lucky streak to devour. I entered every dang car-give-away contest I could find (and there were many).
And that's when I got introduced to the wonderful world of email spam. And I thought the internet was the worst thing since in Howard Stern in ass-less chaps.
I haven't won a prize sense.
*big hearty 'poor me' sigh*
But, fortunately, I won't be able to say that for long. 1) because I'm going to win at Blingo any day now and 2) I'm leaving for Las Vegas on Thursday. And I'm feeling lucky. I wouldn't mind winning a car while I'm there. Or anything else that's more expensive than a doll or movie poster or jar of applesauce that I can exchange for heaps of cash. :)
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