Monday, August 01, 2005

About my optimism regarding my impending win at Blingo

I haven't won anything from the internet in awhile so I think I'm due. Sophomore year in college... (which was what? about 7 years ago?)... I won two different contests (the kind that you find by clicking on banner ads).

The first thing I won was a monthly movie poster giveaway (that I'd played for several months before actually winning). I won three movie posters from indie films I'd never heard of before, but at least I got to pick which three they were.

I picked the first poster because it was covered in cartoon drawings (more anime looking than Disney) and I love most things cartoonish (I say most because there's some freaky deaky cartoons out there that don't really float my boat). I can't remember the name of the film, and perusing through the movie poster site wasn't any help, so I'll have to find the poster (which is rolled up with all my other posters in some closet somewhere in my apartment) when I get home, because now I'm really curious.

The second poster I picked was from the movie Dream With The Fishes.

I picked this poster because it had two of my favorite things in the title (dreaming and fishies). It also had an awesome tagline ("An oddball odyssey about voyeurism, LSD and nude bowling!") at the bottom (which for some reason isn't featured in this picture.)

The third poster I picked was from the movie Hugo Pool.

I chose this poster because it featured a girl (which I am) wearing a bathing suit and goggles (which had been my sports 'uniform' for many years, and still was, at the time). Plus, it had the word 'pool' in the title, and I was on a swim team which meant I was at the pool constantly (or so it felt at times), so I thought hey, I swim in a pool and I'm a girl and have multiple pairs of goggles! It's perfect!

This last poster was a favorite among my male roommates (because what guy (that likes to look at girls) doesn't like looking at Alyssa Milano). But really, all three posters were pretty bitchin'.

Unfortunately though, I chose these three posters without first seeing this poster for Latin Boys Go To Hell. I either unfathomably missed it the first few months I entered the contest or it was offered only after I'd won. Figures, don't it? I tried to win the contest again, to win some slightly naughty looking posters with nekkid guys on them, but to no avail. Bummer that.

But my contest luck didn't fade away completely. It merely shifted from movie posters to actual movies.

The second thing I won from an internet contest was a copy of Caddyshack. This was a cool prize because I love that movie. ("I smell varmint poontang..."). While my brother prefers to emulate Happy Gilmore's run-up-to-the-ball-and-swing technique when playing golf, I prefer to emulate Chevy's zen approach. :) Boy, it sure is fun to play golf with my brother. Especially when he gets mad and throws his clubs in the trees. Because its only then that can I beat him. :)

So anyways, I won these prizes within months of each other and thought the internet was the best thing since assless chaps! When I told my mom about the second prize she said, "since your so lucky why don't you try and win a car." And I thought, Well duh! Home come I hadn't thought about that?

Actually, the first thing she said was something I'd heard many times before. "I never win anything. Well, I did win that field trip in elementary school... but it got canceled. And I did win that set of steak knives at the fair... but they never got delivered. So those doesn't count. *big hearty 'poor me' sigh* I never win anything."

I said the appropriate ahhh-poor-baby's and a few life-just-ain't-fair's but I couldn't really relate. Because I'd won prizes before the movie posters, and a prize is a prize no matter how low on the Awesome Scale they are.

When I was little I won a raffle at a swim meet. My prize? Applesauce. A freaking jar of applesauce. What kind of a stupid-ass prize is that for a raffle?! I could have won a cool toy or a big pool-floatie-seat-thingy or a gift certificate to some fancy restaurant. But nooooo. I won a jar of applesauce instead. But hey, at least I like applesauce, right? Could have been a jar of lima beans or something. Bleagh.

This other time (when I was about 10 yrs old) I won a big Mickey Mouse doll. It was a nice doll and all, but I could have won some serious prizes! We were at Disneyland, and there was a huge anniversary celebration going on, and when you walked in through the turnstiles they handed out tickets, of which random ones were prize winners. Mine was a winner so I got to go up on this big fancy stage thing in front of all these people and pull this big lever. Fun stuff! Some guy with a microphone was on stage with me, but I had no idea what he was saying for after I pulled the lever I was too busy watching the different prizes light up in a circle, going around and around until the light slowed down, eventually landing on my prize.

Now, I could have won a car for crimeny's sake. I could have won a couple thousand dollars in stocks or bonds or something (I was about ten years old at the time and had no sense of money, but I knew the picture of all those stacks of money meant the prize was worth A LOT). There were some other really heavy prizes listed on that board, plus some cheesy lame ass prizes like Mickey dolls.

So I'm standing there, getting down right dizzy at the thought that I could actually win a car. Or money! I was picturing the car in my parents driveway, just sitting there, waiting for me to be old enough to get my license. I figured I'd be nice and let my parents drive it in the mean time and...

Then the freaking light stops on 'Plush Doll'. WTF???!!! What a rip off!!!

I think it was rigged. Seriously. Someone with their finger on the stop button somewhere saw how young I was and figured I'd rather have a dolly.


So where was I? Oh yeah... so I took my mom's advice and tried to win a car. I couldn't believe I was only entering small-potato contests when there were some main courses out there for me and my lucky streak to devour. I entered every dang car-give-away contest I could find (and there were many).

And that's when I got introduced to the wonderful world of email spam. And I thought the internet was the worst thing since in Howard Stern in ass-less chaps.

I haven't won a prize sense.

*big hearty 'poor me' sigh*

But, fortunately, I won't be able to say that for long. 1) because I'm going to win at Blingo any day now and 2) I'm leaving for Las Vegas on Thursday. And I'm feeling lucky. I wouldn't mind winning a car while I'm there. Or anything else that's more expensive than a doll or movie poster or jar of applesauce that I can exchange for heaps of cash. :)


  1. well, i sure hope you have better luck in Vegas than i did! i lost $140 in those damned slot machines. heh. oh well, though, it was fun. :)

  2. ouch. i hope i have better luck too.

    last time i was at a casino i saw Monty Python Holy Grail slot machines. i hope they have 'em in Vegas. i can see myself loosing a lot of money on those. :)