Thursday, September 16, 2004

and in this corner, weighing in at 5.4 pounds iiiiiiiit's The Phlegm-inator!

This week has been hectic.

And tiresome.

And full of phlegm.

Tiresome, because I've been waking up at the ungodly hour of 4 o-freakin-clock in the morning, showing up to work at 5 AM and leaving work at 5 PM. Well, not exactly five. A few days I was able to leave at 4:30 PM. *rolls eyes* My new mantra: "Overtime pay Overtime pay Maxed out credit cards Overtime pay."

Catchy, eh?

And the weeks' been full of phlegm because some time last week I started getting sick. I believe the Evil Phlegm started its slow creep on Sunday. Or maybe it was Saturday. I can't quite remember. All I know is that it was right around the time I started conducting these training sessions at work. Because with the Evil Phlegm cold came it's delightful cousin, Mr. Scratchy Throat.

I've met Mr. Scratchy Throat before, but not like this. This time he's on a mission. A mission to make me loose my voice.

See, I think I pissed off Mr. Scratchy Throat last time he came to visit. Maybe I kicked him out too soon with a wave of cold medicine tablets before he could get his fill of applesauce (a sore throat magical salve) and Simon & Simon reruns. So this time around he planned and he plotted and he diabolically masterminded his way into my body right before I needed my voice the most: for my All Important Training Sessions.

It's been awful. My voice is at half volume at best. When I try and raise it, or I talk too much with out taking a pause or a water break (which seems to be at least every 42 seconds, according to my bladder) I go into a coughing fit. It's really hard to train someone when you're trying not to cough cold germs all over them.

My office mates have been sympathetic because they're sick too. (Everybody around here is sick!) The office mates are not as sick as I am though (figures, don't it?) so when they hear my voice they say, "Ahhhhhhhh. You sound awful!" Then they give me throat lozenges they have stashed away in their desks. I have never been a big fan of the Halls or the Ricola, but I was this week when it was either suck on those things or embarrass myself by peeing myself (I'm drinking lots of water) or rupturing a spleen or something.

At least I'm not as "sick as a dog." This cold could be a lot worse. Snot could be flowing out my nose like a water park amusement ride. Instead it's dripping down my throat, hence the visit of Mr. Scratchy Throat.

I would say my level of sickness could be better classified as being as "sick as a kitty cat with an uncoughable hairball." My throat gets a little scratchy tingle so I hack and cough and make strange noises until everyone turns and stares at me, waiting for something to come up. But it never does.

Which I say "hallelujah!" about because that means the phlegm isn't ready to come out yet. Which means I'm not sitting here in the office with that little rattling phlegmy noise every time I breathe. That's just embarrassing.

So anyways, its Thursday, which is my Friday (I have tomorrow off! Woo!) and I can't wait for the end of the work day to get here. Until then I've got work to catch up on and people to train. And sour candy Peach Rings to suck on (for purely medicine reasons - i.e. the scratchy throat).


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