Friday, October 15, 2004

For my first action in office as your Evil Lord Dictator I declare today Stupid Question Day

does the healthy fruitiness of the raisins that i'm eating for lunch cancel out the carbonated sugariness of the dr. pepper that i'm drinking?

its a pretty good lunch, just the raisins and the dr. p. it really is. despite the fact that i'm consuming them at my desk. too much work. gotta keep on working! and it is such hard work being the evil lord dictator that i am. see, i demanded a sacrifice earlier, and my subjects have readily tried to appease me. they're sacrificing a village of virgin papers, all sheet thin and stark white and pure, into the mouth of the volcano Mount InkjetPrinter. the volcano sucks them in, deflowers them with a little bit of ink tattooing and then spits them back out.

so yeah, busy busy day.

i'm going to try and get out of here at 4 today so that i have time to go to the post office before it closes. they're holding some mysterious package for me because it didn't fit in my mailbox. i have an idea who its from, but i didn't order anything from them, so really need to go and pick it up so i can get mad and frustrated and cuss at them for being stupid. its been almost a week since i got the little paper notice and the not knowing who exactly sent it is getting on my nerves.

the mail people don't through mail away if you don't claim them in a timely fashion, do they? i hope not. that doesn't seem very post office-ily to me.

i've heard that you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, so i was wondering... what about the horsey's other orifices? i mean, if i'm given a horse i'm going to be weary about its origins. because who in their right mind would give me a horse. so i'm gonna wanna check it out, see if it has a big trap door in its tummy, see if there are any sneaky trojans hiding out inside. i've seen Troy. i know how that story ends! and its baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

just like the carbonation in this dr pepper. its making me want to burp. and that's baaaaaaaaaaaad. because i'm in an office with a bunch of guys that have never heard me burp before. its a special moment i want to save for a later date, until we've all gotten to know each other better. i guess i'm just old fashioned that way. :)

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