Like the old saying goes, you can't pick the voices that populate your head...

Me: I've got to change the look of this blog.

Voice #1: Thank Elvis! I thought you'd never say that!

Me: I know, I know. I started to change things around a bit but stopped during all the busy holiday hoopla.

Voice #2: Hoopla. Hoopla hoopla hoopla.

Me: I'll try and work on it next week sometime.

V1: Thank Elvis!

Me: Why do you keep saying that?

V1: What?

Me: 'Thank Elvis'. What does it mean?

V1: It means thank Elvis. As in thank God.

V2: I don't get it.

V1: Elvis is God!

Me: Dude, you can't say that.

V1: I can if its true.

Me: But its not true.

V1: Do you know everything?

Me: Um... no.

V1: See then!

Me: See what?

V1: How do you know Elvis isn't God?

Me: Because he's NOT!!!

V2: Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Somebody forgot to take their chill pill this morning.

Me: I forgot to shove my boot up your asses this morning, that's what I forgot.

V1: How very mean of you.

V2: Quite.

V1: Which isn't surprising since you're trying to hurt us with this atrocious blog design.

V2: I kind of like it.

Me: Thank you.

V2: But then, I do have such a horrid sense of style.

Me: Is it possible to retract my earlier 'thank you'?

V1: No. You're stuck with it. Just like I'm stuck looking at this ugly site.

Me: You're not the only one.

V1: True. Which means you are exceptionally cruel, aren't you. Does it get you're jollies in a tingle to think of all the innocent children you've blinded with this monstrosity of a website design?

Me: That's a bit much don't you think.

V1: No.

Me: Oh. Well, I don't have jollies. So there.

V2: Jollies jollies jollies.

V1: I just figured out what your problem is. You have jollie envy.

Me: There's no such thing.

V1: How do you know? Huh?

Me: Well...

V1: Huh?

Me: Uh...

V2: Ooooh! Gotcha again!

Me: @#&$%

V1: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Dear Rain,

Rain, rain, go away.

Come again another day.

Like maybe next Sunday.

No, Sunday I have to run to the grocery store and I hate getting drenched while I load the groceries in my car. So that day is no good.

And I'll probably be doing laundry on Monday. The washer and dryer are in a little room on the other side of the parking lot at my apartment complex, which means if it rains I'll get all my just-dried clothes wet again. Which, trust me, is no fun whatsoever.

So how about Tuesday? Does Tuesday work for you? I've got an opening between... oh, say... 9am and 2pm. I can squeeze you in there. Sound good? Okay, I'll pencil you in for Tuesday at 9am. Now remember, there's a cancellation fee if you don't call to reschedule 24 hours prior to the appointment.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,
The Currently Dry Loon

In an effort not to do too much real work today I present to you the first blog post of the day

Dude! I can't believe I'm at work right now. Driving into work today on the freeways was weird. There were so few cars on the road it felt like I was going to work on a Saturday or Sunday. And an hour ago I was given a list of vendors to call but no one's in their offices to take my calls! Well, I did talk to one human, who was part of a skeleton crew, and he said there was no one there who could help me with my questions. Darn it! Everybody's at home today! At least I get Monday off. Which I think I'd prefer, because everyone else will be at work then and I won't be. Perfect time to go shopping me thinks. :)

I asked the boss if I could go home "sick" a couple hours early today and he said sure, no problem. So yeah to that!

And the countdown begins... 3 hours of work left... 3 hours 59 minutes and 17 seconds of work left...

I'm really looking forward to tonight. The HB and I are meeting up with a friend and together we're going to hang out at Universal CityWalk. Which is why I'm leaving work early, so we can get there early before it gets tooooooo crowded. It's going to be a blast!

I had thought about upgrading my piece of crap cell phone for a fancy shmancy picture phone so I could take pictures of everything tonight. Then I remembered I have no money. That's always a bummer reminder.

But maybe... maybe I could charge more money to my credit card without it buckling under the weight of money owed... maybe I could sign my cell phone life away for two years and get El Cheapo Picture Phono. That's the trouble with the current phone. Cheapo = Crappo.

Maybe I'll leave an extra hour early and go peruse my options at the cell phone store... because taking pictures tonight might just turn into a must. There could be Kodak moments everywhere! What if David Lee Roth (who's performing at CityWalk tonight) runs into my friend and asks her to dance up on stage with him? I'd need a picture of that! And what if the HB gets mugged by small alien tourists? I'd need a picture of that! And what if there are drunk people being complete morons? I could always use a few more pictures of that.

Ah yes, I think I've nearly convinced myself. (Notice it didn't take much.) I'll just look at pictures of fancy shmancy picture phones online to see if that seals the deal.

is it time to go home yet?

Twenty minutes left...

Twenty minutes left before I can run out the office screaming 'I'm free! I'm free!'. Why did work get all hectic again right before Christmas? I tell ya, The Man just never lets up. I didn't have time to do any of my normal work stuff (which was a lot more than usual because I had to prepare for the few days I'll be missing next week... oops) because a big IMPORTANT PROJECT was dropped in my lap that had to be done AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (!). And fellow desk-neighbor's lap as well. A project almost identical to the IMPORTANT PROJECT that was dropped in our laps yesterday. I swear, its amazing this company is still functioning as well as it is with all the headless chicken running we do around here.

Ten minutes left...

Ten minutes left before I can leave and drive home in the monster Santa Ana winds that are blowing like crazy out there. Hopefully there aren't a lot of semis out there on my freeways. I hate driving past them as the wind tries to push you under its wheels.

If thunder is "God bowling", is the 30 mile an hour winds out there God farting? Just a thought.

Five minutes left...

Five minutes left until I can get away from people asking me silly questions. And I can go home and watch part five of A&E's showing of Pride and Prejudice. I've been wanting to watch this forever and have only now gotten around to it - when it's free and on tv without commercials! Only downside is its in six one hour parts. And I want to see it all now!!!

I <3 Colin Firth

*dreamy sigh*

Three minutes left...

Three minutes left until my xmas vacation starts. I'll be driving up tomorrow to my parents house. And I'll get to hang out with a bunch of family. I can't wait! The poor HB will be driving up xmas morning after he gets off work (poor thing has to work xmas eve night/xmas morning!) to join us. And I don't have to be back to work until Wednesday! Woooo hoooo!
Happy holidays to anyone wondering by for a quick read. :)

Brainstorm

Trigger #106: Complete the Paragraph

If I had time to be more involved in the community I would....

... raise special companion chipmunks and then sell them (only two easy payments of just $9.99 a month!) to single child families. Because every child should have a sibling to play with, whether it's a human or a cute furry rodent. I would teach the chipmunks to play dodge ball and hopscotch and slug bug (because these companion chipmunks will be fully versed in dealing with long boring family road trips). I would teach the chipmunks how to braid hair and tell corny fart jokes. I would teach the pseudo-sibling chipmunks when to tattle, but most importantly when not to tattle, so that the Stick It To The Man bond between the siblings will grow and flourish. The chipmunks, before they graduate the program and get placed with a family, will be going door-to-door selling assorted packages of nuts to raise money for the many community needs.

If only I had the time...

Tis the season...

I'm in a festive mood here at work. Which is why I just taped this picture up on the window above my desk:



It's a picture of little baby cheeses! Get it? No? Its sort of an inside joke here in the office. The New Guy was telling this lame joke earlier this month about going to the store and buying those little individually wrapped cheeses. Said he was going to make a nativity scene with the 'little baby cheeses'. Fa la la la la ha ha ha ha.

Okay, so it was probably a lot funnier hearing it in person instead of reading it.

I'm just using typing as an excuse for not doing anything else at the moment. I'm having one of those 'I really don't want to do any work today' kind of moments (which are happening more and more frequently this month). There's lots to do, and I just can't seem to get myself to do it. I've done some little things, the unimportant no-stress-y things. Now its time to tackle the Big Scary Pain In The Ass things. Oy to the vey. Guess I should try and shake myself from this food coma I'm in. Because you see, The Company hired someone to cook us all a big bbq lunch and I'm so stuffed on tri-tip, chicken, ceasar salad and buttery roll that I can't possibly be expected to work in this condition.

Encouraging remarks from the peanut gallery: "Rightly so, ol' chap chappette."

Thank you, my lovely peanuts. Thank you for your support.

Oh, and did I mention the Krispy Kremes? The box of fresh and deliciously warm Krispy Kreme donuts that were dropped off in the office right after lunch? Heaven. Pure delightful sugary heaven. Mmmm... donuts.
I know what I'm going to do. It's such a lovely day outside; I think I'll go for a walk. Just around the parking lot to go grab something from my car, I don't have too long of a break coming, but a little bit of exercise and fresh air will do me good. Mmmm... nature. Then I'll exercise any excess calories with a bit more typing. :) Can't jump back into work too quickly now can I? I might sprain something.

Would you rather be...

1. a garbage collector OR a fry cook at a greasy spoon restaurant?

Oh I would so rather be a fry cook. I wouldn't care if the local united cockroach front home office was based out of my greasy kitchen. It would beat picking up garbage any day. Because there's some nasty garbage out there that will fry every last one of you nose hairs off. And I rather like my nose hairs thank you very much.

2. The person who repairs downed power lines OR the person who cleans the shark tanks (while they're still in it) at aquariums?

I love water stuff, and would love having a 'getting in the water' type job. But with sharks swimming about getting all up in my business? Eek! If they were the kind that wouldn't bite, even on extreme PMS days, I'd probably do that job. If not, I'll repair downed power lines. Because that would mean I'd be outside a lot. And that would seem like a dream job on a day like today. (It's sunny yet slightly chilly and oh so pretty outside and I can't go out and play! Bummer dude!)

3. The person who does makeup on dead people for open casket services OR the person who has to scoop the ashes of a dead person into an urn?

I'm horrible at doing my own makeup, I can't imagine how I'd screw up someone else's face. I wouldn't want the poor dead person to rot away with a horrible makeup job. I think I'd rather scoop up the ashes.

4. A beat cop in new york OR a navy SEAL on a covert mission?

A SEAL! Because they kick major bad guy ass and get to play with high tech fancy gizmos.

*knock knock knock* HOuseKEEping!

excuse the mess. i'm doing a bit of housekeeping. a bit of springwinter cleaning. sort of a rearranging and redesigning. basically the blog was feeling kind of blah, and felt the need to go shopping for a pretty dress. the new style doesn't exactly fall into the 'pretty' category, but its different. and different will do just fine for a much needed uplifting.

i'm keeping the same color scheme for the moment, mainly because finding all new colors would be way too time consuming at the moment. besides, its green, and tis the season to be greeny. :)

if you notice a link isn't working or an image isn't showing feel free to point and laugh it out in the comments. if those still work after all the dress trying ons...

don't worry, the spider didn't get me!

It's been awhile since I posted. (And one of the last posts I wrote sort of mentioned the same thing. D'oh!)

Yeah, well, so anyways... Loony's back... back again... and now she has that stupid eminem song stuck in her head. Maybe that can account for the reason she's typing in third person.

Wow. Last time I posted was the 11th, right in the middle of NaNoWriMo, a.k.a. The Day of The Infamous Spider Assault. I remember being way behind in my word count and stressing over it.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POST TO BRING YOU THIS UNIMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

I paused in my typing to take a sip of coffee (yes, at 2:45 pm - is that weird?) and while I'm sipping I noticed I had subconsciously stuck my pinkie out. I'm drinking from a Styrofoam cup (yes, I hear the earth weeping at those words - sorry earth dude) with my friggin pinkie out like I'm royalty or something drinking from the finest of china-ware. What's up with that? Just thought I'd share.

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR IRREGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG POST

The rest of the month was spent writing and procrastinating from writing. I did some major cranking out of novel words the last two weeks and managed to finish. Yay! Some of the words were even in complete sentences. Yay! But dude, the writing was horrible. It really was. I'd think of a sentence and as I was about to type it my internal editor would say 'ew, that's awful, don't even bother wasting typing muscles for that because you'll just have to delete it if you ever want to edit this'. I couldn't turn the internal editor off completely - I couldn't stop thinking that I needed to rewrite my sentences to make them sound better - but I did learn to ignore the nagging bitch for the month of November, a hard yet necessary step for completing the NaNoWriMo challenge. At least for me it seems. I reached the 50,000 word mark, but the story is an incomplete rough draft - about as rough as a porcupine's butt. Sigh. I had so hoped to improve upon last years attempt.

I had also hoped that I would learn from last year and not save the major chunk of writing for the very end. Didn't happen though. I wrote a little over two fifths of the novel during the last four days of the month. Eek! I'd like to think that I did my best writing under all the pressure but I'm not sure. I haven't gone back to it yet to see exactly what I wrote. ("It's all a big blur!") I do know that all that last minute writing sucked my brain dry and left the spirit weary. I wandered around aimlessly for the next couple of days, doing mindless chores, such as washing the dirty dishes that had spontaneously multiplied like horny little bunnies in my week's absence from the kitchen. ("I can't do the dishes! I'm a writer! I'm on a deadline!")

I just love throwing out writer-speak like that. I have a writing deadline!

*gets all tingly inside*

So my mind's been a blank for about a week now. Sure, there's been the random 'ooh, grilled cheese sandwich!' food thought or 'snoopy socks!' wardrobe consideration thought or 'boy, the HB sure is cute when he's hyper/sleepy/wearing socks on his ears' boyfriend thought (plus a few others even less interesting than the previous ones mentioned) but that's been pretty much it. Until last night that is. Now all these weird and random ideas are starting to float around in my head. I have to start writing some of this stuff down so as to make way for the brilliant money maker ideas so hopefully some of the thoughts will get written up and posted here. Not the money maker ones though, I'll be hoarding that shit yo!