Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I gotta have it, really need it to get by... Sugarhigh

The biggest, most decedent looking cupcakes I've ever seen are sitting on the desk in front of me. If I had a camera I'd post a picture here so you could see how yummy they look and you would feel ever so sorry for me for working in such a cruel environment*. But if I did post a picture you'd probably die from dehydration due to Mass Quantities of Droolage so maybe it's a good thing I don't have a camera after all.

Of the 24 cupcakes that came in the box only three are left. Every time someone comes by, eyes glazed and mouth agape in childlike reverence of the All Mighty Cupcake, they ask the following questions, in the following order:

a) Who brought these?

As one coworker commented, "Who the hell cares! They're cupcakes!"

b) Why? What's the occasion?

Another coworker was quick to reprimand the girl who asked that question. "Don't question it silly! You'll anger the Cupcake Gods!"

After being asked this question several times myself, as though, since they are on my desk I must be the Knower of All Things Cupcake-y, I started answering with the most brutally honest answer I could come up with.

"Because I'm awesome and every day is Lisa Day."

c) Which one should I take?

This was, indeed, a very hard choice to make. Some had a chocolate bottom while others had... well, I didn't sample all of them (as incredibly tempting as it might have been) so all I know is that they were non-chocolate. As in plain old white cake. (So maybe banana/carrot/strawberry flavored?)

A quarter of them (6 total) had white frosting, coconut sprinkles and cherries. Another quarter had chocolate frosting and cherries. Another quarter had what looked like cream cheese frosting with walnut sprinkles (which looked really good.) But the last quarter of cupcakes, with the chocolate brownie cake underneath, had caramel coconut frosting, and I just couldn't resist grabbing one.

Because ohmygod its chocolate with cocounut frosting for crying out loud! No matter how good the chocolate/coconut combo is (and it is goooood) I've only been able to nibble at it for the last hour or so, taking swipes of coconut frosting every few minutes. If I tried to consume it any faster I'd go into sugar shock. I'm even getting high off the sweet sugar fumes because it is just that sweet.

So while I've been nursing this cupcake, totally satisfied with its delicious cupcakeness, I've been eyeing the one cream cheese frosting cupcake left behind by the cupcake scavengers. And I was thinking, as overloaded on sugar as I am now, if no one claims it in a couple of hours I just might have to grab it and give it a pity bite. Because no one, lest of all cupcakes, like to be picked last. So when people have asked, "Which one?" I point them to that one and beg them to take it away from me lest I seriously try and eat it later.

Not that I needed to bother, because in the time it took to write this the last three cupcakes have vanished. How silly of me to think that cupcakes would last more than an hour around these here parts.

*Seriously? My desk is the only suitable place to put these evil sweets? What, is there some sort of caveman inspired subconscious compulsion to put chocolate in front of the fat girl? I just don't get it.


  1. mmmmmmmmm.... cupcakes.....

  2. exactly!

    and yesterday it was a box of chocolate covered cherries that were sitting on my desk and today its an assortment of fruit covered in chocolate in little bit sized balls. thankfully both have sounded icky to me. :)