Thursday, February 03, 2005

I'm just a sneeze junky looking for my next fix

I think I might have more allergies than I once thought I might have had. Now, this isn't just a random thought about allergies (as fun as though can be) because you see, I've been sneezing a lot lately (lately = since yesterday). It's happening more often than your normal, random hey-where-the-hell-did-that-sneeze-come-from type of sneeze. So its caught my attention. I've been sneezing like that woman in the sneezing/orgasm/pepper joke (but without the pleasant side effects) which means my sneeze quotient as of late (late = since yesterday) is A LOT. (A LOT being a very scientific term. Try it yourself sometime. Like at a dinner party with snooty guests. You'll look supa smart!)

This (the sneezing, I'm talking about sneezing... you're still with me here, right?) is not necessarily a bad thing because I quite enjoy sneezing. Except, of course, when I'm driving. When you're operating heavy machinery on a street/highway/playground it's never a good time for involuntary eye squinching.

I just hope it stops here, right at the Sneezing Stage. Though come to think of it, my eyes have been feeling a bitch scratchy lately (lately = past week). Damn you allergies! Damn you to the slowest moving DMV line possible!

At least I think it might be allergies. I'm not quite sure. Big gusty winds have been blowing around here for about two days now (I don't know if they're the infamous Santa Ana monster winds or just plain jane monster winds. With gusts up to 60 mph! Holy crap!). People with allergies complain every time these winds blow because it messes with their allergies and they get all snotty and aching and shit. Me, I love when these winds blow through town because they take the icky dirty smog with them. The sky looks so clean and blue right now. It's bea-U-tiful! And... *gasp* ...I can see the mountains! I forgot there were mountains RIGHT FREAKING THERE just a few miles north of here! Silly ol' smog, hiding the mountains like that.

Anyway, where the hell was I... oh yeah. Winds. So powerful make-you-think-that-semi-is-going-to-fly-into-your-lane winds started blowing yesterday. And that's when the sneezing started. I sneezed at least 7 times at the office. How do I know that? I was keeping track. Out loud. Much to the chagrin of my officemates *snicker* But then they all went home and it was no longer fun counting out loud every time I sneezed so I lost track after 7. But I sneezed a few more times before going home, and sneezed a few times at home. I have never sneezed that much before. Boy, it was fuuuuuuuun!

The sneezing hasn't stopped, and neither has the gusty winds, but both have quieted down a bit today. Is all that coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe I'm developing sneeze-inducing allergies. Oh, that would be awesome. Unless, of course, sneezing is the marijuana of the allergy kingdom.

Could sneezing be the gateway drug to more heinous afflictions?

Eek! I sure hope not.

*goes outside on a 'coffee' break to try and catch some allergy pollen with the nose holes*

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