Maybe I can use some of these for that '100 Things About Me' list I'll probably never write.

I found this at Judy's.

1) My uncle once: told me and a friend a story about the "troll" that lived under the bridge we were walking across. We stopped for a bit and peered over the railing. My uncle pointed to some lemons on the ground and said they were troll boogers. Me and my friend laughed appropriately. Then he pointed to a large puddle of rain water and said it was troll pee. Me and my friend giggled incessantly. It was a nice, quiet, peaceful day. We were out in nature, everything was quiet except for my uncle, who was explaining more about the "troll", when all of a sudden someone walked out from under the bridge. My and my friend jumped away from the railing and screamed like little girls. No, we didn't think it was an actualtroll. It was just... really unexpected. My uncle laughed all the way back to camp. Sigh. I truly adore my uncle. :)
2) Never again in my life: will I see that ugly green shag carpeting (that was so in vogue when the house was built in the 70s) that I lived with for about ten years. My parent's are finally remodeling!
3) When I was five: I was the kid in kindergarten who talked funny (because of the accent, not a lisp).
4) High School was: fun.
5) I will never forget: the time me and my brother were laughing SO HARD my mom wouldn't let us until our grandparent's house until we calmed down. On the drive there, my brother grabbed the straw from his mini-mart drink, put one end in his mouth and put the other end up his nose. Then he said, "Look! I'm air conditioning my boogers!" And oh my goodness I almost snorted soda out my nose it was SO funny. I giggled, then he giggled, which made me giggle more and... well, the giggling was like some unstoppable monster. The more we giggled the funnier it became. We were getting on Mom's nerves, of course, and she told us to try and calm down. Which we did, for a bit. Then we looked at each other and the giggles started all over again. When we got to the grandparent's house my brother and I got out of the car and collapsed on the front lawn, free from those giggle restraining seat belts, and had us some good hearty laughs. It was INCREDIBLEY fun. So when the laughter started to die down I said "you were *gasp gasp* air conditioning *gasp* your BOOGERS!" and we'd roll on the ground some more in helpless fits of giggles. It's a memory I treasure dearly.
6) I once met: Princess Diana... for like, a minute, and don't remember it. But it still counts dammit!
7) There's this girl I know who: once got a bunch of stitches from playing an innocent game of Red Rover.
8) Once, at a bar: I wore an incredibly see-thru blouse. Totally out of necessity, believe me. (not so long a story, but a boring one.)
9) By noon I'm usually: (if at work) wishing I could go home.
10) Last night I: stayed up working on some possible goodie bag ideas for my NaNoWriMo group. The HB got off work early enough and I was up late enough that we were able to hang out for a bit. We made a Taco Bell run and watched an episode of The Family Guy. Good stuff. :)
11) If I had only: hung out with Friends Group B instead of Friends Group C at Magic Mountain that one time I would have seen Patrick Stewart getting on the Colossus.
12) Next time I go to church: I'll probably be hanging out with Z.
13) What worries me most: is that I don't worry enough about things I should worry about.
14) When I turn my head right, I see: some guy speaking in French talking on the phone to his cronies back in europe, probably talking about how bad our company sucks. Either that, or how STUNNING I look in my new glasses. ROWR!
15) When I turn my head left, I see: the Halloween decoration I made at work (it’s a ghost made out of crumpled up paper from the To Be Recycled pile (for the head) and a plastic bag from AM/PM (for the ghostie skin) and some black-sharpied-paper-circles taped on for eyes.) If only I had a camera, you'd see how bitchin' my ghostie is.
16) You know I'm lying when: jumble up my sentences... no wait, I do that all the time. Okay then, how about when I say something stupid... no wait, I do that all the time too. Okay, um... oh, if I'm trying to pull a joke over on you, and I'm making something up, I won't be able to keep a straight face for very long. My "poker face" needs a lot of work.
17) You know what I miss most about the eighties?: well, I was too young to enjoy most of the 80s, or even remember the first half of the 80s. But I do kinda miss my She-Ra dolls.
18) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: one of Titania's faeries.
19) By this time, next year: I'll still be in school. And once again anticipating NaNoWriMo.
20) A better name for me would be: Shalee-Koyna. It means Chick Who Rocks The Dorkness in gibberese.
21) I have a hard time understanding: how people can be so close-minded and intolerant towards others.
22) If I ever go back to school I'll: be getting my second degree (currently working on the first). I'd get the degree in... interpretive shadow puppets.
23) You know I like you if: I refrain from calling you a moron (or worse) to your face. If that's too subtle I sometimes wear "I like you" shirts. And if that doesn't work I get my pal Erol, the God of Like, to shoot friendly like-nerf-darts at your head.
24) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: my parents. Unless, of course, the award was for Best Newcummer In An Adult Film or something like that. Then I'd thank my boob and lipo doctor.
25) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: stupid names for rock bands?
26) Take my advice, never: take my advice. Except for this one time, of course. Any other time? Trust me, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
27) My ideal breakfast is: one I don't have to cook.
28) A song I love, but do not have is: Nothin' 'Bout Love Makes Sense by LeAnn Rimes. It's cute and fun to sing and I love it to pieces. Every time I hear this song (which isn't often enough) I think about buying the CD. Since I don't buy many CD's any more I usually like to buy them for several songs, not just one. But for this song I think I'd make an exception. Plus, I'm sure I'd like most, if not all of the other songs on the CD.
29) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you get your head examined. No wait... I'm sure there's something fun to do in P-ville... um... you could go to the Barn Theatre. I heard Ann B. David (The Brady Bunch's Alice) used to perform there back in the day. And I think there's some historical shit you could look at, though in all the fifteen years or so that I lived there I never went and saw any of that stuff. So if you visit my hometown, let me know, and maybe we can go museum hopping together. Oh! And I could give you a tour of my high school. The home of all my infamous glory. Heh. "And over there is where I ate lunch with my friends every single day. And over there is where this one kid got dumped in a trash can this one time. And over here is where I tripped and fell in front of the ENTIRE school! Oh oh oh, and this is the classroom where my English teacher told me she has actual conversations with trees." Ahh... good stuff.
30) Why won't anyone: watch Arrested Development? That show is hilarious!
31) If you spend the night at my house, DO: let me know where its at so I can move out of this damn apartment. (If you spend the night at my apartment, DO mind the broken couch, Hawaiian Punch stained carpet, and the HB's underwear in the bathroom that he didn't put in the clothes hamper AGAIN.)
32) I'd stop my wedding for: a death in the family. Or Barbara Streisand. You know, in case she was going to go on tour or something and needed a background singer. I'm here for you Babs!
33) The world could do without: close-minded blowhards who thinking their way is the only way so screw everyone else.
34) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick its ass.
35) My favorite blonde is: Z, my BBBF!
36) Paperclips are more useful than: my left butt cheek.
37) San Diego means: that place me and my teammates went to for a night of fun during Christmas Break Hell Week training; it's also the place I went to that one time with family and friends and don't really remember but I think we went to SeaWorld; and it's that place I went to for that on-base army wedding that one time; and it's that place that my brother used live (that turned into a disaster); and it's a place I'd like to go some time and spend some quality time exploring so that I have something better to list the next time I fill one of these things out.
38) And by the way: I'm not wearing any pan-ties. (I have no idea why Eartha Kitt's voice just popped into my head for this one. You know... from the movie Boomerang. "Marcus darrrrrrling..." No? Anyone?)

These new glasses don't help much with hand-eye coordination.

So many new things are going on and I haven't had the chance to share. Like, holyfriggincow I've got GLASSES! And I've volunteered to be a Municipal Liaison for my fellow regional NaNoWriMo-ers! And I'm surrounded by shifty foreigners at work who never let me make personal phone calls or play on the internet!

Both personal phone calling and internet playing are important requirements of the ML position. By play on internet I mean moderate my regional NaNoWriMo message board, post info on the Kickoff party, etc. It's surprisingly time consuming (and I'm not even doing that good of a job!). I'm also finding all kinds of spiffy cool writer stuff in the ML boards (hand made handbooks, help sheets, character name generators, etc.). I'm like a kid in the candy store. A very busy kid who only has time to ooh and ahh and drool at the candies behind the glass counters but doesn't have time to eat any of them. Sigh.

Last weekend was a busy weekend (well, Sunday was busy) and it's been a busy week so far. In fact, I'm sooooo busy I thought I'd dump water all over my heavily paper-strewn desk. Oy to the vey! It wasn't too bad. I only lost three post-it notes and two sheets of paper that were destined for the recycle bin later today anyway. The computer got a little wet but I think its fine.

Sigh. I'm going to try and post more later (I haven't posted in almost a week! *GASP*) but right now I'm overdue for a lunch break. And damn if there aren't still freaking donuts and muffins sitting on the ledge above my desk. Maybe I'll be dining on fiber this fine afternoon...

Birthday Hell - 50 Word Fiction Fridays Vol. 29

Birthday Hell

I unwrap the box with frantic fingers. Grammy always buys the best birthday presents! My friends sit nearby, eagerly watching the birthday ritual. I yank the lid right off and... oh no. Grammy bought me underwear?! The girls giggle, the boys stare at their feet, and I pray for invisibility.

The 50 Word Fiction Friday theme this week is: birthdays.

Another bit of Friday Fiction based on past experiences. I was in the first or second grade. Several girl and boy classmates were there. So were my grandparents. And the underwear? They were cute little silky Days-Of-The-Week panties. Very snazzy.

My grandma, who'd brought a couple of presents with her, meant to give the underwear box to my mom so it could be hidden. To be opened later. When my friends weren't around. My boy friends. Gah! I was sooooooooooo embarrassed. I mean, if I'm gonna show a boy my panties I want to be the one who picks the time and place. Not my grandmother!

My brother made it worse, as only little brothers can. He's younger than me so he would have been about four or five years old at the time. (Very impatient years those are.) As he'd been sitting on the floor, where his eyes were lower than everyone else's, he hadn't seen what everyone else had seen. And he really wanted to know if it was another toy. He didn't get why I didn't showcase it like I showed off every other present I got. "What was it? I didn't get to see it! What's so funny? What was it?"

Mom quickly handed me another present and the birthday party continued with no further hiccups or embarrassingly personal gifts. I don't remember much else from that day, but that particular moment in time, all those many years ago, will remain with me for a long, long time.

Praying at the Altar of The Almighty Sugar Rush

O, I pray thee Mother of the cookies sweet,
Of these circus animals white and pink,
Infuse these sprinkled cookies with energy
So that they may, in their noble sacrifice,
Fuel me with the power to complete my homework assignment in the next two hours.
Amen


All I can do, it seems, is NOT work on these damn journal assignments. And frankly, the cookies aren't working as well as I'd hoped. Dammit. Maybe its because I only bought one bag from the vending machine. Hmmmm.... I was able to get a hold of the HB and he emailed me the file I needed. So at least I'm not starting over from scratch. Sigh. Okay, now I'm ready to finish the homework. Right after I sacrifice another pink elephant that is. Mmmmmmmm.

A line of head lickers vs the power of the Mega Slap

Would you rather...

1. have a head that looks like a lollipop OR hands that are three times their normal size?

Oooh. This one's a toughie. The ginormous hands would be awesome because then I could really slap these asshats at work around a bit.

But I think I'd rather have a head that looks like a lollipop.

Because I want people to want to lick my head.

"Excuse me miss, but can I lick your head? Pretty please?????"

"Of course you can Mr. McConaughey. Here, take a number and enjoy the wait."

2. have sweat that smells like bacon OR like a flowery air freshener?

Oooooh. Another toughie. Because I love the smell of bacon and hate the smell of flowery air freshener (*gag*). I'm all about accommodating the poor unfortunately souls who might chance upon me in a sweaty state. But there will be people that will smell my sweaty self and appreciate the fact that I smell like a waffle house and some won't. Some people will appreciate the fact that I smell like I get frisky with potpourri and some won't. So, as the wise Ricky Nelson said in his Garden Party song, "you can't please everyone so ya got to please yourself." So, with that logical reasoning I'd choose to sweat bacon odor.

But then this other logical part of me thinks I can deal with the flowery gaggy air freshener smelling sweat because I really don't want to be known as Oinky Bacon Girl. I'd rather smell like cheap flowery grocery store perfume.

3. tell your deepest sexual desire to a complete stranger once a day OR clap your hands in a highschool cheerleader style everytime somebody says "OK"?

The first option would be interesting in a weird time-to-break-out-of-my-shy-shell sort of thing.

But the second option would be F - U - N. So I'd choose the hand clapping thing.

4. dress like elvis at formal functions OR dance like him?

Dance like him! He had some really sexy moves. Especially when his whole body shook like he'd just tongued an electrical fence. Sex-ay!

Sigh (a.k.a. The Post Title Formerly Known As !&%$@&!%#)

I didn't do all of my homework over the weekend. I've read all of the assignments, so I'm all good on that front. I just procrastinated a bit on the journals (due at 7pm tonight - eek!). But you see, I was busy. A highly admirable excuse if I do say so myself.

Saturday I was busy hanging out with the HB. We went out to brunch, which was nice. Then we went shopping at Costco. For those that don't know, Costco is this big warehouse mega store. And its the HB's substitute Disneyland. He friggin loves to shop there. Even if we're there for only one or two items he has to walk up and down Every Single Aisle. And he has to push the cart, because he's 'the man'. It's adorable, really. He also likes to keep a running tally of how much money is in the cart. My job at Costcoland is to be the Shopping List Wench. It has its perks.

After Costco we went home, dropped off the food, then went to CompUSA. Again, we had to walk up and down Every Single Aisle. At the very end of our tour we came to the video game area. I passed the xbox demo game and the play station demo game but paused when I saw the Star Wars PC demo game. The graphics looked pretty bitchin' so I checked it out. Started shooting stormtroopers that were actually on my side, but oh well. Still pretty awesome. I pointed the game out to the HB and I think I actually saw him drool. We were there for at least another fifteen minutes while he played his little Star Wars game. I made a circuit of the entire store twice before I whined. "Can't you buy it and play it at hommmmmmme?" Turns out he couldn't. We have all the PC requirements but one so the game play just wouldn't be the same. Bummer. I felt bad and offered to go hang out at the bookstore at the other side of the parking lot. But no, he didn't want to do that. This was his one day off (he's currently working 6 days a week) and he wanted to spend it with me. Awwwwe.

He also wanted to get a Bob. See, he's been wanting another pet for awhile now. So have I. Sort of. I'd love a little kitty to play with and cuddle with but I really don't want to deal with all the stuff that pet owners have to deal with at the moment. The HB would prefer a dog, but we live in an apartment and that just wouldn't be very nice to trap a dog in an apartment all day long. So a cat it will be. The other day, the HB hinted about getting a cat. About how nice it would be to have the little kitty sitting between us on the couch.

"And we can name it Bob," he said. "And we can-"

I held up my hand and said, "Stop. You had me at 'Bob.' You had me at 'Bob.'"

That pushed me over the 'sort of' edge right into 'pretty much' area of wanting a kitty. A girl kitty. So that we can name her Bob. I love that name!

So as we were leaving CompUSA I asked the HB were he wanted to go next during his Big One Day Off Extravaganza. He said he wanted to find Bob. And while I kind of don't want a Bob right now (I'd actually like to be able to afford all the cool kitty accessories first, like food and stuff) I thought what the heck and caved. We went to PetSmart which was right across the street. And you know what? I girl was trying to get rid of a box full of kitties! I thought, "Is it kismet? Is Bob in that box?" Turns out he wasn't. We looked around PetSmart a bit, looked at all the fancy toys the HB wanted to buy. All I saw was expensive crap. So I wasn't very gung ho about it. On the way out, we looked at the box o' kitties, but then kept on walking. If the HB had picked one up and said, "Here's Bob" I probably would have agreed. Because I would love a little kitty to love. But later, in the car, he said that none of those were Bob. So no Bob for us. Maybe this weekend. The HB just got a HUGE promotion, so maybe I'll buy him a kitty as a Way To Go Big Stud present. Heh.

So that was Saturday. Or most of Saturday. Sunday I did laundry and went clothes shopping. Spent a lot of money. See? This is why I can't afford a kitty. I'm buying clothes! All necessary clothes too. Trust me. If you saw my wardrobe you'd be embarrassed to admit it. It's pathetic. But its getting better.

I was tired Sunday night, but managed to read a bit and write some notes on what I'd write for my first journal/summary/informal page and a half essay. I finished the reading assignment early on yesterday evening. Figured I'd have plenty of time to write up my two journals. No problem-o I thought. But I didn't figure in procrastination time. Sigh. By the time I got around to writing the journals up on the computer my eyes were tired. And the right eye started twitching like a death row inmate in the electric chair. So I figured I'd type up my notes, get the things about half way written, then I'd email them to myself and work on them today at work.

Only problem is I was so tired last night I skipped the whole 'emailing' part of the plan. D'oh! So I have no notes! &%$%^#! All that work for nothing. Grrrrrr. I might try calling the HB around noon. Hopefully he'll be up by then (because he works second shift) so I can ask him to email me my notes. I'm pretty sure I can work on the second journal here at work, but I'd hate to redo the first one. I came up with some really killer sentences in my sleepy daze last night. Sigh. Maybe I'll remember those killer sentences later...

Match Making At Its Finest - 50 Word Fiction Fridays Vol. 28

6 Year Old Match Making Techniques At Its Finest

"Let us out!" my brother yelled from the closet.

"Not until you kiss her!" my friend replied.

"Ewwwwww!" her sister shrieked.

Fifteen minutes and one kiss later they were freed. We threw construction paper confetti and congratulated them on their new marriage. There'd never been such clever kindergartener match makers.

The 50 Word Fiction Friday theme this week is: marriage.

This is another autobiographical FiWoFicFri entry. It seems that this is the only way I can write these sometimes.

When I saw the theme the first thing that popped (practically immediately) into my mind was this time when me and my best friend at the time (kindergarten) married our siblings. As in, my younger brother married her younger sister. The four of us hung out a lot because there weren't many other kids to play with at our apartment complex.

I think there was a closet involved, and some mandatory kissing for the marriage to be valid (we didn't tell them about the ceremony until after the fact, of course), and we might have promised cootie vaccine shots if the kissing proved to be fatal. I'm not sure on the specifics, but I do remember being tickled pink at the thought that they were married. They, however, were less than thrilled. My brother may even have been... oh, what's the word I'm looking for... oh yeah, mortified. Well, as mortified as a four year old can be. My inability to stop saying "You're married! You're married!" probably didn't help. Sheesh, I'm such a bad sister. - *tee hee* - But it was perfect. My best friend's sister and my brother. The marriage didn't last very long though. A couple of months later we moved out of the apartment complex and into a house. Bye-bye next door best friend/sister-in-law.

"There's this game where you put in a dollar and you win four quarters. I win every time!"

Okay. So yesterday I had this zit RIGHT between my eyebrows. And you know what? It hurt like a mother effer. Still does, kind of.

I kept touching it yesterday. I didn't mean to, but I did. For some reason, and I have only myself to blame for this, I haven't yet mastered the superhero power to control the insane itch factor that comes with some zits. Yeah, I know. Shocking. So here's a little bit about how last night went...

*touches zit*

"ouch!"

[ 2 minutes elapse ]

*touches zit*

"ouch!"

[ 2 minutes elapse ]

*touches zit*

"ouchfuckgoddamnit why do I keep touching it!!!!"

*sings to self (to the groovy tune of 'Don't Rock The Boat') "don't touch the zit, don't touch the zit baby"*

[ 10 minutes elapse ] --> progress!

*subconsciously feel itch in the central brain area, ie forehead*

*automatic reactionary impulse to scratch said itch goes into effect*

*realize too late that its just a phantom itch, a clever diversionary tactic the Zit used to trick the hand into touching it.*

"bad zit!"

I don't have any zit cream at home so when I get a zit, I usually leave the fuckers alone, taking a "killing them with kindness" approach. But this one hurt more than usual. And it was RIGHT BETWEEN my eyebrows. And it was a tactical sumbitch. And I didn't want those 'awful kids at school' to call me 'Pus Peak'. So I decided to take matters into my own hands - or fingers actually - and I killed it. I choked it to death. Said sayonara zit bitch. Popped it like wheelie.

I thought that would be it. Done... finito monforito... (hey, it was 5 in the friggin' morning, okay? My brain was still waking up.) ... bye-bye ugly ouchy White Blob of Evil. So I finished getting ready for work and forgot all about it.

Soon after getting in to work though, I'm in the restroom washing my hands, and I can't help but look up and see myself in the mirror. And do you know what do I saw? Nothing but a HUGE red dot RIGHT BETWEEN my eyebrows. Oops. Forgot that could happen. So now I've got a battle wound from the latest Zit Offense. Great. Juuuuuust great.

So I'm standing there, staring at the HUGE BRIGHT red scab on my forehead (it's really not huge at all - objects in paranoid mind are larger than they appear - its just... er... very red), and I think to myself, "Maybe it's not that noticeable."

Hey, it was a lie I was willing to believe, okay? Okay. And besides, if any one did notice, they wouldn't actually say anything about, right? Yeah. That's what I thought. Until, that is, Mr. Desk Neighbor sat down at his desk behind me. I spun around in my chair, asked him a question, and he said, get this,

"I didn't know you were Hindu."

Gasp! Shock! Horror! Bastard!

Sigh.

So I'm thinking I should just pick it off. Because I have to go to school today and all the cool kids are going to be there. Plus, there's still a bunch of people who will get into work soon, and will stop by my desk to say hello. People who will not be able to resist the urge to stare at the BRIGHT red dot on my forehead. If I scratch it off it might scar, sure, but as long as its not a MASSIVE white zit or a BRIGHT red spot I doubt anyone will notice. I'll notice, maybe even obsessively so, but that's just one out of many. That I can deal with. This LOOK AT ME thing on my forehead? Eh... not so much.

So how's your Wednesday going?

To sock or not to sock? That is the chooseday question.

Would you rather...

1. be shot in the thigh with a .357 magnum OR have your thigh sliced with a samurai sword?

When I read the first option my first thought was...

That could be interesting. Painful, yeah, but interesting.

Reading the second option made me cringe.

Oh helllll no!

So I guess I'd rather be shot than sliced.


2. try to take a piece of meat from a mongoose OR have to ride an angry bull?

Um... well... I'm bigger than a mongoose. Smaller than a bull. Way smaller than an angry bull. So I'd rather tussle with the mongoose.


3. wear 10 t-shirts at a time OR five pairs of socks at a time?

I heart t-shirts long time. But ten? Sheesh. Five pairs of socks would be easier.

Because who says I have to wear the socks on my feet? Socks are sooooo much more versatile than t-shirts. I can make really spiffy wrist bands with one pair. And can use one pair as cozies for my pigtails. And the other two pairs can be woven in and out of my belt loops for flair.

Dude. I could totally rock the socks.


4. punch a priest in the nose OR throw a rotten tomato at the president of the united states?

What has a priest ever done to me? Nothing. Thankfully. What has the president ever done to me? Oh, let me count the ways... heh.

No matter who the president is at the time, I think I'd rather throw the tomato. I'm more of a "attack from far away so its easier to run away if things go bad" kind of girl rather than a "in yo face sucka" attacker. I'd probably get on the news with the tomato toss, so that would work out great.

And I'm pretty I'd miss the president if I threw the tomato at him, so it wouldn't cause any damage. The priest though, I'd probably be able to hit that target. Which would hurt me more that it would hurt him. So yeah. The tomato's the way to go!

My yellow fuzzy butt is so cute it'll make your glands explode.

You Are A: Duckling!

The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.

You were almost a: Frog or a Chipmunk
You are least like a: Puppy or a MouseWhat Cute Animal Are You?

See? I am innocent. Lil' ol' me, innocent as can be. Cutest of the cute with my yellow fuzzy butt.

Heh. Maybe that should be this year's NaNoWriMo novel title. "Me And My Cute Yellow Fuzzy Butt." It would certainly be an interesting set of 50,000 words. :)

Validation To Go - Fifty Word Fiction Friday Vol. 27

The 50 Word Fiction Friday theme this week is: validation.

I started working on this one at work, but didn't have time to finish it, so it sat in my head, taking up space, unfinished. Unrefined. Unflattering like some kind of... unflattering thing that I'd be able to make reference to if I weren't so sleepyhead-out-of-it. Since the following Fifty Word Fiction Friday submission might kinda sorta have some relation to the idea I'm toying with for NaNoWriMo I thought I'd play around with it bit tonight. Well, not just play with - I'm not always a completed-story tease - I actually finished it. Yeah! And I say 'might kinda sorta' about the possible NaNoWriMo story idea because I had this idea, thought it was freakin' perfect, but then after thinking about it a bit this afternoon I began to think that the idea, in fact, sucked royal tushie. But who knows... maybe it will seem like a brilliant idea once again in the morning. Sigh.

I'm not sure I'm making any sense. I usually don't when I feel this loopy. The brain is going, "put me to bed already for Jiminy Glick's sake!" and I'm all, "you're a big girl, you can stay up past 11" and the brain is all, "don't you get sassy with me miss thang or I'll make you bitch slap yourself" and I'm all, "oooooh" because the brain is holding all the really good comebacks hostage. I'd seriously love I to write this year's novel in the middle of the night when I'm totally looped out of my mind. That's when the best stuff comes out. :) Anyway, without further ado and crap like that...

Validation To Go

The reunion was tomorrow and Bob was desperate. His former classmates were out saving entire worlds while the closest he'd gotten to heroic adventure was working the grill at AstroBurgerHut. Bob sighed, then pulled up to the Make-a-Fake drive-thru speaker. He ordered a Newspaper Clipping Glorifying Recent Adventure. Superhero sized.

the fantastical life of me

So get this... I was walking down the street last week when I found this lottery ticket and whadaya know, it was a winner! So I went to the bank on my way to cashing it in because I wanted to make sure the bank could handle all my winnings. And whataya know, as soon as I walked in the door some guy in a ski mask said stick 'em up! I asked for clarification because it was quite chilly in the bank and I was pretty sure I fulfilling all the requirements but the guy in the ski mask didn't seem to be paying any attention to lil' ol' me. Or so I thought. He soon grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into the back room and told me I had the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen. And he asked if he could sketch them really quick. I said sure and didn't even bother to charge him my standard fee because he was having a really bad day, you know. So he stuck his hand down his pants and pulled out a pencil but whadaya know, he couldn't find any paper! So he opened a desk drawer and instead of paper he found a wormhole space portal hidden under a bag of candy corn. It was cool. Until, that is, I was sucked into the portal by its awesomely powerful gravitation suck forces. I landed in some alien disco room and boy was I out of place with my 'Polka will never die' t-shirt on. After hanging with the Hell's Bots from cellblock Alpha 3.2 for a couple of hours I hopped in the U-Turn-Suck-O-Matic machine and went back home. And whadaya know, I think one of those Hell's Bots stole my lottery ticket. Bitches!

What can I say? It's been one hell of an exciting week. :)

But seriously...

I was a little stressed last week. Well, actually, I was mildly stressed about two weekends ago and I carried a smaller version of that stress through most of last week. I had a paper to write, the first paper I'd written in, oh, five years or so, and I was a bit too hard on myself. Why? I don't know. That's just the way I am sometimes. I knew what I was supposed to be doing, how I was supposed to write it, but nothing was working the way it should. And it frustrated the hell out of me. So much so that I actually thought about crying about it. I didn't, because that would have just been silly. I also thought about punting the text book out over my second floor balcony. But I didn't. Because I paid too much goddamn money for that book to cause it any on-purpose toe dents. So I walked away from computer, putting some much needed distance between us. And then I spent all day at work Tuesday finishing it. D'oh! Not the greatest plan in the world, but by then I was in "Ah, fuck it!" mode and just wrote the damn thing. (It was due Tuesday night). I think it turned out all right. The only down side is I felt guilty for doing so little 'work' work at work that I tried to make up for it by working super hard during the rest of the work week. Oy. That cut some serious time into Mandatory Goof Off Time (my sanity at this job depends on at least some small amount of goof off time).

The Mandatory Goof Off Time, as of late, has consisted of crossword puzzles. When I only have a few minutes to pop into internet land that's where I head. To crosswordville. I've become flat out addicted to them! So much so that this last weekend, as I was writing another paper for my other class, I couldn't do any writing until I completed a crossword. I'd write a bit, then I'd get up to pee or watch a half hour of tv (very important study tool) or wash the dishes or something of the sort. When I sat back down at the computer I could NOT do any more writing until I did another damn crossword puzzle. It's like the mind refused to think about anything else until it got its crossword fix.

The creative part of my brain just loves to scoff at deadlines. Sigh.

So I was super stressed two weekends ago, less stressed during the midterm that was two days later (hopefully I found out the grade for both tonight at class *toes crossed*), a lot less stressed during this last paper-writing-weekend (the chill pill I took is working marvelous, thanks for asking). Adding to the stress were these really annoying headaches I've been getting lately. I think they're less 'stress' headaches and more 'holy crap I need glasses I'm blind' headaches. I've been thinking I might need glasses for awhile now, but I've been hoping it was just eye strain from work, something that would go away, eventually, even though the hours spent computer-monitor-ogling hasn't decreased. So now, with the headaches, and the exponentially increasing squinting that's going to give me serious eye wrinkles by the time I'm thirty, especially with all this reading I'm having to do for school, I've decided I need to go see an eye doctor.

[Insert dramatic epiphany music here.]

Now I just have to get around to finding an eye doctor that takes my insurance. And then I have to actually call and make an appointment. And... and... I just don't have time for that right now. Actually, I just can't be bothered with it. Which doesn't make sense, what with all the ouchy headaches, but that's just me. Partly its because every time I remember, hey, I need to find an eye doctor I'm nowhere near the computer (because I need to do my eye doctor research online). And if I am near the computer, like I am now, I have no idea what my health coverage plan thingy is. That information is in the car. Where's its doing a lot of good. Sigh. I'm just too scatterbrained right now to do it. But its on my To Do list. And my To Do list is written in big-ass 'look at me' letters on the dry erase board in my kitchen. So I'm sure I'll get around to it eventually Thursday (when I'm done with classes for the week).

Now, I'm off to sign up for NaNoWriMo because yes, I am a masochist that way. :)

Yes, school was stressing me out, but I'm dealing with it, and coping with it, and everything's peachy. And yes, I have at least one research paper due in the middle of November, and quite possibly another analysis paper due in November as well. Those, of course, will take priority, but they won't fill up all my waking hours. I'll still have some bit of 'Me Time' to write another crappy incomplete novel. Heh. I can't wait until November!!!

(And shit, if I can ramble on like I did here I'll be able to reach my word-count-goal-of-the-day easily!)

Total Word Count of Post (Including Title): 1,215
NaNoWriMo Daily Word Count Goal: 1,667