Thursday, July 31, 2003

Here I am at work, trying to hide my chin no-it’s-not-a-hickey bruise. Woe is me!
Last night, I was sitting at the computer, drinking from a bottle of water. I had the bottle on the desk in front of me and for no good reason decided to work on poor posture. I leaned forward and put my chin on top of the bottle. It was sort of like a headrest. And when I rested my head on top of the uncapped bottle with the full weight of my head (the bottle was the only thing holding up my head) the rim of the mouth of the bottle dug into my skin. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, it didn’t hurt or anything. But after awhile it did become uncomfortable, and it wasn’t working very well as a new thinking position, so I sat up straight and got back to whatever it was I was doing. Well, when Mr. Stud Muffin came home he noticed something underneath my chin.
“Did you scratch yourself?” he asks.
“Uh... [insert scrunchy memory-backtracking face] ...not that I remember.”
But now I’m curious so I go to the bathroom to check it out. At first glance, I see a red mark in the shape of a circle. Mentally I shake my head.
“Oh, I know what that’s from.” Then I glance at it a second longer. “OMG! It looks just like a hickey!”
If anyone here at works spots it, they’re first thought isn’t going to be, “She shouldn’t be resting her chin on a water bottle like that.” It’s going to be, “OMG! It’s a hickey!” I think I’ll be walking around with my head down for most of the day. Sheesh. Or maybe I can walk around with one hand on my chin, like I'm pondering some really deep thoughts. Hmmm... I like that option.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Here's a guy who's writing his own vows. How sweet! LOL.
Here I come with more quiz results. Watch out!

What Drink Are You?
What Drink Are You?

In the oh-so-wise words of Homer Simpson:
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems."
"Mmm... beer!"

Homer driving asleep
"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way!" Well, you're really really lazy. You manage to get by, but you never put any effort into anything you do. You most likely enjoy watching TV, sleeping, eating, and doing stuff of the sort. Get active. You're a fat, lazy idiot.
Which Advice Quote said by Homer Simpson are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am on a lazy kick at the moment. (Deftly ignoring 'fat' and 'idiot' mentions). I am just getting by, floating along, unsure of where I stand, what I'm doing, or even what I want to do in this crazy little thing we call life. It's something I need to work on, I know. I should shake off this lazy blanket I'm wrapped up in and go do something worthwhile. You know what, I think I will! Right after I watch this repeat of Insomniac with Dave Attell of course. :) For the record, I'd just like to say that I'm not as bad a driver as the picture may indicate. There was that one accident... but that was AGES ago! And no one was actually bowled over like bowling pins and...

You are Cap'n Crunch! You like to dress up in silly looking naval attire. You probably have a thing for pirates. You might have been out to sea just a bit too long...

Take the Which Breakfast Cereal Character Are You? quiz.
Published by JC.

*gasp* I do have a thing for pirates! That Cap'n Crunch... shiver me timbers! (And other things.) mmmmm... Okay, maybe that was a bit uncalled for, but seriously, what’s with this new fancy of mine for pirates? Arrrrr! There's just something about that rogue bad boy character that's so appealing. Another bad boy that pops to mind is Janet Evanovich's Ranger. I can picture him as a modern day pirate. The long hair, the swashbuckling attitude, the dangerous work that's not always legal, the defiance of authority and the social norm... Rowr!

My pirate name is: Mad Bess Kidd
"Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!"

Me? Crazy? Nawwww!

Which Sesame Street Muppet Are You?
Which Sesame Street Muppet Are You?

This quiz hits it right on the nail! I am tall and yellow! :) I'm also a good pal. Go me! Oh, and look at Big Bird! He's wearing a sailor's hat! I think I have been out to sea for too long.

So what have we learned here today boys and girls? Let's recap. I'm intoxicating (me-ow!), I like to run my fellow coworkers over when they piss me off (i.e. give me more work to do. The nerve!), have a disturbingly growing pirate fetish (Arr!), and not only am I a reliable friend but also a reliable pirate! I think I'll go spiff up my resumé.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

I love this idea of self-actualization. And one day I will achieve it! On my way to achieving it, I need to learn as much about myself as possible. According to this website: "Maslow says there are two processes necessary for self-actualization: self exploration and action. The deeper the self exploration, the closer one comes to self-actualization."

Self exploration eh?

I did a bit of self exploring earlier (the surfing-the-web kind) and found out that I'm a 'monstrous horn-ball' who loves to 'hoard dragons.' Hmmm... At least I'm not a 'diseased foot-worshipper' who loves to 'lick vibrators'. You have to draw the line somewhere! [ick!]

Curious? Well, then find out what you are today!

Warning: probably not be suitable for young children... or people who are afraid they may find out that they're 'diseased virgins who love to stomp trouser snakes.' :)

Now I must go and explore my inner self some more. Self-actualization here I come!
I found this posted at the plum fan fiction yahoo group.

Our Muses, who art among us,
Desired be thy pen.
Thy whispers come,
The book be done,
In bookstores as it is in MS Word.
Give us this day
Our five pages,
and forgive us our misspellings
As we forgive our critique partners
For not catching them.
Lead us not into cliche dialogue,
But deliver unto us unique story lines,
For thine is the inspiration,
And the narrative,
And the ending forever.


Can I get an AMEN! :) I love this!
Excerpt from an intergalactic princess’s blog.

Stardate: 32927.9

Donut Black Holes: 4 - v. good. Alcohol units: 10 – good, considering the huge party after the conference.

Today was the big Intergalactic Planetary Conference on the planet Tetras V, with Gar and I doing double duty. Not only were we there as representatives of Nanooie Prime, but also as members of the Royal Marlin Guard. (Her Majesty’s most elite branch of peacekeepers, thank you very much!) These conferences are always eventful, and this year didn’t disappoint.

We were almost late to the conference since Gar repeatedly assured me he knew how to get there, even after we passed the same Rocket Boots store five times. Finally, I made Gar pull over the shuttle pod so I could ask someone for directions.

A purple scaly-looking man was standing on the corner so I called out to him. “Yo! Do you know how to get to the Crappie Carp Mega Dome?”

The purple scaly-looking man snorted at me then said, “Trout tease nude rocker boobs!”

Excuse me?” I said, my hand involuntarily sliding toward the weapon strapped loosely to my hip.

Gar, who speaks Tetran, quickly translated. “He said, ‘try out these new rocket boots!’”

Purple Scaly Man snorted again and held up a pair of sexy red leather rocket boots. “Tuna guts up in air!”

I turned to Gar for another translation. “Just two nuggets a pair.”

I was in need of a new pair of sexy red leather kick ass rocket boots, and you can’t find a pair for just two nuggets anywhere in the known galaxy! And I should know, I’ve looked. I handed Purple Scaly Man two nuggets and he handed over my new boots. Wahoo!

Gar and I showed up at the Mega Dome with just a few minutes to spare. We mingled with other delegates, took our turn patrolling the perimeter, and then found our seats as the first speaker stepped up to the podium. One highlight of the conference was listening to Lance Bass, the guest speaker from the planet Earth. His speech was full of choreography, flashy costumes (complete with Batman suit cod pieces), backup singers, and a call for galactic peace. V. good show.

Another highlight was when I got to bust a ray gun in someone’s ass. Mr. Pike, the hefty harmooth handler from Haddock is a prankster by heart and therefore has trouble controlling himself at galactic functions.

During the lunch break I saw Mr. Pike try to perch on the roof of the North tower, a big sack of water balloons next to him. Haddocks aren’t known for their sense of balance (what with their immense size and one spindly leg) so I watched him with growing concern. In a matter of seconds I saw Mr. Pike raise a huge water balloon high above his two heads, begin to wobble perilously close to the edge, and then fall. The Prince of Albacore and a number of other dignitaries were directly below Mr. Pike, and if he fell, he was going to squish them all. Death by fallen Haddock is a nasty business, and not something that was going to happen on my watch!

I whipped out my gun, quickly noting that it was on the ‘stun’ setting, dove and somersaulted past a group of fellow Royal Marlin Guards so I could get a clear shot, and blasted away at Mr. Pike’s fat, falling ass. The force of the blast propelled him past the crowd and into a nearby fountain. I watched him flounder around a bit then helped a group of conference members drag him out. Prince Albacore was so appreciative of my awesome skills and good work that he invited me and Gar to his after-conference party. The party was a blast!

Well, that’s about it. I just wanted to make sure I got this journal entry in before I pass out. Tomorrow is going to be killer. I just know it! Gar and I have to travel to the planet Tarpon with what I’m sure will be galactic sized hangover headaches. I hate space warping with a headache. When will someone invent the hangover cure for Galactic Brain Fuzzers?!! Huh?!!*

Monday, July 28, 2003

i just love chatting with Burnsy, the crazy banana! (and no that's not some kinky euphemism!) she rocks! *hugs* check out her words of wisdom.
Would Her Aunt Trina Say Never Ever Wear Pink Underwear So Silky You Can't Act Tough? *

Sunday, July 27, 2003

ThiS is a tEst of the National Subliminal Messaging Institution. If this were an actual message, you'D be subjected to subLiminal messages, influencing yOu tO do something agaiNst your nature. This concludes a test froM the NatiOnal SublimiNal MEssaging Institution. Have a nice daY.
Current song running over and over again through my head thanks to some stupid car commercial playing every commercial break possible: "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!"

Some of my inspirational agents, all rolled into one in...

The Loony How to Make A 'How to Make A...' List

1. Sit down in front of computer.
2. Stare at blank screen for several minutes waiting for inspiration.
3. Smack head with keyboard.
4. Rearrange CD's in mini CD tower according to artist's height -- tallest one at the bottom.
5. Clean your mouse's ball. (Poor fellow only has one after the tragic Stapler Incident of '98...)
6. Get up to pee, clearing mind of all thoughts (except for the good, clever ones of course!).
7. Grab chips and sufficient amount of caffeine.
8. Sit back down in front 'puter.
9. Rearrange CD's by length of play list -- longest playing CD at the bottom.
10. Check email.
11. Look at blurry clock and decide with heavy lids that its time for bed.
12. After staring at blank screen for another hour, go to bed.
13. Five minutes later do a happy dance after finally getting an idea (never mind how stupid it is).
14. Grab pencil/pen/quill/crayon and paper/parchment/chalkboard/arm/wall and scribble down your ideas until either you run out of room or your hand and brain cramp up with exhaustion. And Voila! You've got yourself a [loony] masterpiece! Woot!

Saturday, July 26, 2003

As I walk along the edges of this world, I am known by many names. Mystery… Destruction… El Fuzzy Kipper... plus simpler names like Veronica, Maria or whatever else comes to mind first when, oh say Cute Coffee Guy wonders what name he should scribble on the coffee cup.

A recent name I've picked up is Loon (for reasons which are too long *coughtooboringcough* to explain in this post). And wouldn't you just know it! Some singer's now gone and stole it! First Snoop Dogg steals my initials and wears them on a sweatshirt in some rap video... grrrrrrrr... and now there's some singer running around with my name! What is up wit dat?

There are also a lot of people with the last name Van Loon running around out there (such as children's author Paul Van Loon). Hmmm... very interesting.
I've been a big bookworm lately.

I've recently read Blood Price by Tanya Huff, plus the other four books in her "Blood" series. Vicki is a cool, no nonsense woman having to deal with all kinds of crap in life, such as learning that vampires, demons and werewolves (oh my!) and other supernatural characters really do exist. I really enjoyed the interactions between Vicki, Celluci, and Henry and their growing relationships throughout the series. That's what helped me get through the really slow parts of the third book, Blood Lines. :)

My favorite of the five was the second book, Blood Trail. I really enjoyed it and flew right through it. I especially loved the part where, after a scuffle broke loose, Celluci, being a cop, pulled out his gun, unsure of what the hell was going on. When Vicki, who knew exactly what was going on, sees the gun she says: "Oh for Chrissake, Celluci, put that penis substitute away." Boy, I sure do like that Vicki. :)

I also just finish reading a contemporary romance book called Charmed, I'm Sure by Liz Ireland. It was cute and enjoyable, but not as good, IMHO, as her first book Husband Material. Charmed starts off with Callie having a bad day. She falls on the slippery icy ground and hurts herself, then the next day she gets snubbed by previously flirty Cute Coffee Guy and has to run a personal errand for her pain in the ass weasel of a boss. At the end of a very long day, her boss pushes her beyond the breaking point and she has the overwhelming urge to cuss him out.

Since she can't afford to loose her job, she cusses him out in a foreign wican language of some germanic black forest wican tribe. Callie calls her boss a son of a bitch in this language... and literally turns him into a son of a bitch -- a cute little puppy dog! "This had been a hell of a day. In all the months she'd worked at Teller Box, she'd imagined all sorts of things she'd like to do to get even with her boss, but housetraining him was never one of them."

Comedy, cute-ness, and love sparks ensue when the boss's nephew comes looking for his uncle. I was cracking up at the end of this book when they finally turn Sy back into human form. Oops, did I spoiler the ending too much? LOL. I've spent at least ten hours reading this book over the past week, and not a minute of it was wasted! *

Huff's "Blood" series: *thumbs up*
Ireland's Charmed, I'm Sure: *thumbs up*
       Fat Cat glares at me
knowing i'd win the SmackDown
          he's a big pussy


Friday, July 25, 2003

wow. i never realised it would be so hard to write a post without using the letter e (that's why the previous post is a tad bit wierder than usual. hehehe). Mr. E is a busy little bee in our alphabet!

anywhoo... it's movie night! woohoo!

"Meow what is so damn funny?" -- Foster, Super Troopers

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in awhile you could miss it." -- Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Can I get you anything Mr. Trainer? Coffee? Tea? Me?" -- Cyn, Working Girl

"Nice set of hooters you got there." -- Harry, Dumb and Dumber
What a zoo!

Go on a random walk tomorrow.
Who knows what you may find?
Dancing dogs and frolicking frogs
And trolls of any kind!

You might catch popular popcorn-munching, pugilistic pandas prowling about public pool halls, pulling pranks and pounding on puny prissy pink pugs.

Or find a gang of giddy girl gorillas throwing globs of grassy goo at a grossly glowing goat gnawing on glass.

So go on that random walk tomorrow.
Who knows what may occur?
But don't stop taking your happy drugs
Or your world will start to blur!

What fun!
Dateline Loonyville: I'm going to start Kaleidoscope-ing. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

I was going to be all shadowy and allusive about the whole thing, alluding to having joined some super secretive online cult or something (and goodness knows I need to join one to pick up pointers for when Ginger starts up the International Cult of Loonatic Worshippers) but, well, I'm just not in a shadowy mood today. Shadowy schmadowy.
Maria went to Starbucks today for the first time in a long time. When she got home she came across the HaidaBucks site. Oops. She shouldn't have listened to that mocha frappuccino addicted bad angel on her shoulder. :) The site made me chuckle. And taught me about the differences between different bucks. I feel so edumacated now.
Woohoo! I beat loquacia! :)

Now I must go out and fight others and squash them like the puny little weaklings that they are! MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Think you got what it takes to take me on? Do you feel lucky punk? Well, do you?


is a Collosal Mecha-Ant that Expands when Attacked, Screeches when Angry, and has Acid for Blood and four Extra Limbs.

Strength: 10 Agility: 2 Intelligence: 6

To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat Loon, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights Loon using
I found this clip today from Robin Williams’ latest HBO special (the one he performed on Broadway... at least I’m pretty sure that’s where its from.) The comedy bit in the clip is Robin’s take on how the Scots invented golf and it’s frickin’ hysterical!

Robin Williams is just pure genius sometimes and I was lucky enough to see him perform live at last year’s Andre Agassi charity concert in Las Vegas. RW only did a small portion of the HBO routine, about 15 minutes or so, but it was enough. I don’t know if my stomach could have handled anymore laughing. This bit and the ‘going south of the border’ bit had me clutching my sides and trying not to pee myself.

Laughter is the best medicine. And one of the best exercises!

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Loony Survival Guide Tip #17: Try not to smack yourself in the forehead too often, unless you really, really deserve it. D’oh!
I caught part of a conversation a few minutes ago where someone said, "Not last night but the night before..." And just like that - WHAMO! - this old playground jump rope song pops into my head.

Not last night but the night before
24 robbers came knocking at my door.
I [something] out
They jumped[?] in
And I hit them on the head with a rolling pin.

Ah, the memories! Except for the memory of how the rhyme goes, exactly! LOL. This one here is a fave:

Cinderella, dressed in yella,
Went upstairs to kiss a fella.
Made a mistake and kissed a snake.
How many doctors did it take?

Quick question: How many doctors did it take to what? To tell Cinderella that she’s a moron? That she needs glasses? That she needs to get a cuter boyfriend if she’s mistaking him for an icky scaly reptile?

Things that make you go hmmm.

*mentally skipping rope*

1...2...3... :)

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Last night I had a dream, which in and of itself is no biggie (I always dream, I just don’t always remember them), but this morning when I woke up I remembered it. Well, sort of.

Last night I dreamed that I had The Answer. The answer to what I’m not sure. Was it the answer to life, the universe and everything? Maybe. Was it the answer to whether or not I should buy an extra large tub of peanut butter the next time I’m at the grocery store? Possibly. Was it the answer to which Spice Girls song is my favorite? Perhaps.

It might help to know what The Answer actually is... but I can’t remember that much of the dream! What a tease! When I awoke this morning, I remembered dreaming about having The Answer, but when I tried to remember what The Answer was, the memory vanished like brownies at a Chocolate Addicts convention. The Answer was right on the tip of my brain, but like with most dreams, the more I tried to grab a hold of it and bring it into focus, the more it slipped thru my fingers.

The Answer was one sentence long (I actually typed it up and posted it here! Which means I dreamed about my blog. Should I be worried? LOL. That’s what I get for working on it so long after my bedtime.) The Answer was so simple and obvious (obvious, of course, only after the fact). It gave me warm fuzzies, a piece of mind, a feeling of giddy “A HA!”-ness. After all, I had The Frelling Answer! So, naturally, I can’t remember The Answer. That would be too easy.

Do I remember The Answer? Nooooo! But I sure do remember that I had it. It’s like my subconscious is taunting me. The bastard.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003
















my latest attempt to win the poetry in motion contest.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Last night, the following happend...

Jay Mohr: "And with 70% of the vote, the winner is... Dat--"
Me: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!"

I'm still in shock. I can't believe it! Dave Mordal is no longer on Last Comic Standing! *sniff*

Horrible you say? I know! Dave is sooooo funny, so much more so than that other guy. Bleagh. The show just isn't going to be the same without him. Awww... and that means no more bathtub confessions with Rich Vos. Bummer! :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, ho ho, a pirate's life for me...

arg! bloody hell!
I spent around 4 hrs last night oogling at a big giant movie screen. First, at Stuart Townsend in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and then at Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean. What a way to spend a couple of hours!

Stuart Townsend was adorable in Shooting Fish but I love when he gets down with his 'superior than thou' bad self (like in X Gentlemen and Queen O' the Damned). With that deep sexy voice... and those eyes... *sigh* The rest of the movie was ok. :) Love Pita Wilson!

Note to self: Buy La Femme Nikita Season One DVD set next time at store...

...or next time have money.

I loved Pirates of the Caribbean. Funny and all around very entertaining. My kinda movie. Orlando Bloom and Johhny Depp: not only good actors, but cute to boot! *sigh* On the way home from the theater I tried to talk the Hunny Muffin into growing out his hair... even just a little bit... but he wasn't interested. Guess I'll just have to work on him so more later ;)

For some reason, the guys in my office feel the need to sing "Yo ho! Yo ho! The pirate's life for me!" ever single frelling possible chance they get! And, of course, it's now stuck in my head! Aaaaarrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 11, 2003

I'm a White's Tree Frog!

Also known as the Smiling Tree Frog or Dumpy Tree Frog due to the nature of its appearance, this frog is a very hardy creature and a favorite pet of amateur frog owners, although some pet owners complain that they are not active enough. These frogs love to eat, which can make them quite fat, hence their "dumpy" appearance. Unlike many frogs, these frogs do well with other frogs of their species and are fairly friendly. They like a warm and moderately humid habitat and eat larger insects like crickets, cockroaches, locusts, moths and beetles.
What kind of Frog are you?

i think i'd rather be known as Smiling, but that's just me. :)

i feel hungry now for some strange reason. i wonder if there are any extra crickets in the fridge...
wow! i always knew there was a cheerleader hidden deep inside me! :) hidden deep, deep inside... locked in the dungeon listening to Aqua.

Cheer Bear
You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.

hmmmm.... i should probably invite her to come out and play more often.

give me a "C"!

give me a "H"!

give me a... oh hell, i'm bored with it already. back to the dungeon with ya!
and we have liftoff!
*pats self on back for figuring out how to change color scheme*
it's a good thing i'm so easily amused

Thursday, July 10, 2003

testing... 1... 2... 3...