Friday, May 21, 2004

Pitiful Ponderings

I was pondering earlier today. (Don't worry. I've recovered.) I was walking out of a store a few hours ago when a phrase popped into my head: No rest for the weary. Then I began to wonder, or is it 'no rest for the wicked'?

Both sounded right. And both are right, I guess (though which came first I have no idea.) But at the time, while I was walking out of the store, it boggled the mind. Which 'W' word is right?

My mind was boggled mainly because I really had to pee. Which can be distracting. The I've-Got-To-Pee brain signal was very strong, blocking the And-The-Correct-Answer-Is-This-You-Moron brain signal. So, to distract myself from the fact that I had to pee, and was nowhere near a decent restroom, I began to ponder about the two phrases.

* No rest for the weary.

Is the point of this saying to let us know that the weary don't get any rest? Well duh. If they got rest they wouldn't be weary now would they? I don't need this pointed out to me.

Or maybe it means the weary don't deserve rest. They're not allowed to have it for some reason. Kind of like there's a Rest Nazi (a la Seinfeld's Soup Nazi) out there deciding who gets rest and who doesn't. And the weary are the unlucky few who aren't good enough. "No rest for you!"

* No rest for the wicked.

Are the wicked too busy doing wicked things to bother with rest? Is that the point of this saying? Maybe if they rested they wouldn't be wicked any more. Like resting is something The Squares do. Not the Bad Ass Wicked Crew. Nu uh. They don't rest. They're non stop wicked machines!

* No rest for the weary wicked.

Now, I've never heard this saying before, but what about the weary wicked? Don't they deserve their own saying? I bet the weary wicked are wicked weary. They probably don't have time to rest, they're so busy doing things like bunny smothering, puppy bon firing, performing intensive scar producing wedgie maneuvers, leaving freshly chewed gum on the sidewalk/pavement for unsuspecting innocent bystanders to step in... etc., etc., etc.


You know what? I had more thoughts on the subject than this. Better thoughts. But the better thoughts didn't stick in my head long enough for me to get to a computer and type them out. All the good, intelligent, insightful thoughts were like post-it notes, and my mind was like a really uneven, wet surface. Those poor thoughts never stood a chance.

Which is a shame, really. They were pretty good thoughts.

So in the end, all I'm left with is the crap. Oh well, such is life.

Why do you suppose the crappy ones stuck? Do they come with extra sticky backs? That must be it. I bet they're overcompensating for their suckiness with stickiness. Heh.

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