Covert Butt Scratching is the next Ninja Scout Merit Badge I'm aiming for.

Would you rather...

1. have the manners of a chimpanzee (fling poo, scratch butt, etc) OR have the body odor of one?

I already scratch my butt and have no problem with it. It can be quite recreational in fact. But flinging poo? It's just so messy! I think I'd rather have body odor de chimp.

2. walk like a penguin OR talk like daffy duck?

Walk like a penguin. Daffy slobbers too much. I have enough problems spitting my words out, I don't need to be spitting saliva as well.

3. eat an entire raw banana slug OR the juice from five jellyfish?

Jelly juice! I have no idea what this is, or whether its harmful or not. But at least it sounds better than eating a raw slug. Bleagh.

4. hold a live wasp in your mouth for a full minute OR have an earthworm crawl up your nose?

Like hell am I holding a live wasp in my mouth. Those fuckers sting you!

I'd rather have an earthworm crawl up my nose... well, as long as I have assurances that I can be easily extracted. I think I'd rather have a painfully swollen mouth than an earthworm setting up shop in my brain.