Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Adventures of the Roaming Nipple

I can't believe it. On top of everything (everything being my crazy hectic tuesday) I'm having a freaking wardrobe malfunction!


I was in the restroom washing my hands when something caught my eye. That something looked exactly like an overly excited nipple, but it was sooooo not where an overly excited nipple ought to be. It was on top of my boob! And more towards the middle than it usually is. And it looked... it looked like it was migrating towards the opening of my shirt...


My nipple was trying to escape!

And I said, 'Hel-lo! Where do you think you're going missy!'

(And no, the boob didn't answer me back. I'm not crazy or anything. Sheesh.)

Roaming nipple? Prison breaking nipple? Freaky disease inflicted boobie that's being contorted beyond recogniztion?

I wasn't sure, so I decided to investigate. Turns out there's a little piece of fabric stuck between the two layers of fabric that is my bra. It looks just like a pointy nipple. Almost feels like one too.

And you know what, if you were to look at my boobs right now, at the right angle, you'd see that my regularly scheduled nipples are all excited now. (A new friend to play with!) So they're about as pointy as the little ball of fabric.

Which makes it look like I have two nipples on one boob. Eek!

I wonder which is worse looking? One freaky looking pointy nipple about an inch and a half away, located in a NWN direction, from its normal base of operations? Or two pointy nipples on one boob?

Holy double-nipple-power Batman!

There's no way to fix the faux nipple problem without dismantling the bra. And I'm just not willing to do that while I'm at work so... I'll be walking around with an extra nipple for another hour or so.

Yeah me!

I doubt its noticeable. Well, highly noticeable. Probably only noticeable if you're prone to staring at my boobs. And hey, who isn't right? Right? Yeah, that's what I thought. So no walking around with my hand over my boob. No sir-ee-bob. (No sir-ee-boob?) I'll be walking proud, with my chin held high, and my extra nipple on display. Because I'm not going to be self conscious about it and be (any more) paranoid about it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!

Concerned Stranger: Excuse me miss, but did you know you have a third nipple?

Nip-tastic-al Me: Of course I did. And thanks for noticing! *wink wink*


  1. This is absolutely hysterical...I adore the way that you write!!! Your blog is excellent and I am adding it to my summer project. The complimenting commentor challenged to find 100 blogs and compliment them, and your rates compliments!!! I've bookmarked your blog so that when I do my 100 blogs complimented list, I'll be able to link to yours! You have a fantastic sense of humor!!! Thanks for the laugh!


    that's awesome. :)

  3. yay! my blog rates compliments!

    100 complimentary blogs? sounds like a fun challenge.