Back from my work-induced Chooseday absense

Would you rather...

1. meet willy wonka OR ghandi?

Sure, Ghandi was a great man who did great things, but he wasn't all that great. After watching a particular episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! on showtime (which I got for free for a month as a sorry-your-tivo-box-crapped-out-on-you-here-enjoy-this-crappy-cable-channel) I'm really interested in learning how not so great he was. Will I ever get around to reading up on him? I might. Some day. Maybe. But I'm still really intrigued by the story.

And while it would be interesting to get the story straight from the source, I'd much, much rather meet Willy Wonka. I mean, the dude's crazy! But in a fun sort of way. He'd certainly be more fun to meet and talk to. Especially if we were meeting in his chocolate factory. Because I wouldn't dance around singing about how I want a bean feast. Because I hate beans. Well, except for jelly beans. Come to think of it, a jelly bean feast would be awesome. But I wouldn't sing about it... at least not in front of Willy. Because I wouldn't want to steal all of his loveably crazy thunder.


2. chug a full bottle of Pepto-Bismol OR drink two gallons of whole milk?

I have a memory of drinking Pepto-Bismol once, a memory etched into my brain due to PB's strong grossness factor, but my mom swears I never have. At least not in her house. She says she hates the stuff with a passion and would never subject her children to such torture. It's kind of hard to argue against that, but I can't imagine where else I tried it.

Maybe I never did. Maybe I'd just heard enough about it from grown-ups that I just know it tastes gross without ever really experiencing it. I'll concede that its possible. But I still think my mom is wrong. :)

Either way, I don't think I'd like to chug a bottle of PB. I'm not good at chugging, which would make the experience more painful. Just the thought of it makes me want to bomit. Bleagh.

Two gallons of anything will be painful too, but I'm not chugging it. I'm drinking it. One night, back in my college dorm days, a group of us were bored and decided to play a drinking game. But no one had money for booze, so instead of taking shots of alcohol, the loser had to chug a 64 oz cup of water. It was fun. No, really, it was! (And no, we weren't always such dorks. Honest!) After a few of those cups you felt like exploding. You also felt like cursing the fact that you spent your last five dollars on the previous night's taco bell run instead of saving it for emergencies (i.e. when we decide to play the Jenga Drinking Game.)

So two gallons? Ouch. But I'll drink it at my leisure. And milk is better than PB, which is a huge plus. I really like milk... well, except for the milk I had with my cereal this morning. It tried to kill me. Yeah, the expiration date was... oh... Saturday. And yeah, it might not have smelt like the freshest of the fresh, but it didn't smell bad per se. I've drank milk that old before. Stupid milk it tried to poison me. We usually get along fine.

So... uh... where was I? Oh yeah. I'd rather drink two gallons of milk. As long as someone will be there to milk me soon after. :)


3. be on the receiving end of an atomic wedgie OR purple nurple?

An atomic wedgie all the way! I've never experienced either one, but thinking about getting a purple nurple makes me cringe more than the a-wedgie does. My poor nips! I don't think I could subject them to such cruelty.


4. watch a movie marathon of all of pauly shore's films OR ian mckellen's films?

Honestly, I'd rather watch a Pauly Shore movie marathon. I've enjoyed all the movies I've seen of his. Even Bio-Dome (but that could be because I've only seen bits and parts of it. Heh.) I especially enjoy watching Son in Law. I've seen it about a gabillion times. Well, at least as many times as I've seen it showing on the tv. If it came on today I'd pick it to watch over a lot of other shows.