Friday, July 15, 2005

My Latest Promotion

My boss's boss, who used to be my immediate boss, just stopped by my desk...

[ flashback squiggly marks ]

I turn to look at him, smile, and say hello. He smiles back and says hello.

And then he stands there and doesn't say anything else, such as explaining the purpose of his visit to Cubicle Island.

He just stands there with a goofy grin on his face while I sit here with what I hope isn't a confused look on my face.

I wonder if he's waiting for me to say something.

I wonder if I had been accidentally shooting out subsonic mental vibes that I had a very important question to ask him, and he picked up on the vibes, and that's why he veered off course and came over to my desk.

Since I have no Very Important Question To Ask, I raise an eyebrow.

Eyebrow Raise ('I-"brau 'rAz)
  1. universal symbol for 'don't just stand there, tell me what the fuck you want!'

After the subtle prompting, The Boss's Boss asks, "Can you get in touch with your boss for me."

I was confused.

And I was worried.

Had The Boss's Boss forgotten how to use a phone?!

Oh the horror!

Hoping it wasn't some sort of trick question, I answered, "Ooookaaaaaaay. Sure."

"Great," The Boss's Boss says. He performs an impromptu drum solo with his fingers on top of the little ledge above my cube wall, then walks away and heads toward his office.

[ / flashback squiggly marks ]

That's not the first time my boss's boss ('Chris') has asked me to contact my boss ('Ken') for him. Last time, 'Chris' asked me to "let 'Ken' know" that he ('Chris') was looking for him ('Ken'). And I thought, great, I've become Message Gopher Girl.

But I kind of understood why. 'Ken' travels back and forth between two buildings and we never know which days he'll be where. Except for (most) Tuesdays, because that's when we have our weekly bitchfest Team Meeting. Other than that? It's anybody's guess which building he'll be working at. And Ken had been on vacation for a week, so we didn't even know if he'd be back at the other building yet. So I interpreted the message as 'hey, let your boss know whenever you see him that I want to talk to him whenever he decides to grace us with his presence.'

I understood it, got the not-so-subtle underlining snarky meaning there, but I mean come on! He couldn't call or email 'Ken' himself? Puh-lease! Would the message coming from me be all that much more impacting?

I doubt it.

And today? What the hell am I now? Have I been promoted from Message Gopher Girl to Personal Secretary Bitch? Not that there's anything wrong with being a secretary. And really? Its not that difficult of a task to pick up the phone and call someone... so why the hell couldn't he do it himself?!!! 'Chris' wasn't busy in the slightest; he spent the next few minutes wandering aimlessly. And he knows how to use his phone; and it was less than ten steps away!

Okay, to be fair, maybe he doesn't have my boss's cell phone number. And maybe 'Ken' is ignoring 'Chris' and 'Chris' thinks that 'Ken' will actually pick up the phone if he sees that its me calling and not his boss. As if me telling 'Ken' that his boss wants to talk to him will move him to contact 'Chris'.

I doubt it.

Hey, I know! Maybe 'Chris' was stunned by my awesomely powerful eyebrow raise and what he was going to say was instantly erased from his mind and the only words he could come up with to say to me was 'uh... call your boss for me.'

Now that I don't doubt in the slightest.

I was, after all, taught by the best martial ninja eyebrow artist in all the world.

You know what? I was kind of peeved when the boss's boss asked me to do his dirty work for him. But after I wrote it all down? It sounds kind of silly and pointless. Writing can be very enlightening. As well as therapeutic. :)

So anywho... I called my boss's desk here, I called his desk over there, and I called his cell phone.
My work here is done.
If only it was now time to go home...

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