Thursday, March 10, 2005

Zingers: The Breakfast of Champions

You know how I was writing about playing Marco Polo the other day? Well, the Guy Who Sits Behind Me is reviewing some kind of report or whatnot, and he keeps having issues with the data given to him by one of the employees, Marco. Since he likes to talk out loud, the GWSBM keeps saying 'Marco' in a rather frustrated tone, then pauses like he's trying to figure something out. So this guy's sitting behind me, doing his work thing rather quietly, and all of a sudden he shouts out 'Marco.'

And I was this close to shouting back 'Polo!' And not on purpose. I'm not quite sure how well that joke will go over up here with my new desk neighbors. I'm still testing the waters in that area, but I'm pretty sure he'd get the joke. And quite possibly think it was funny at the same time. Plus, I'm slow with the comebacks sometimes and only thought to say the 'Polo' bit several minutes after he said 'Marco', and by then it wouldn't have been funny. Only a bit sad on my part. GWSBM's done it twice already, but now that I've decided to yell out 'Polo!' the next time he says 'Marco' and nothing else he's not going to do it any more. Because that's just how life works sometimes. So I've lost my chance to be funny. Dammit.

I did get in a good zinger earlier today though.

Loud Girl Across the Hall was talking (loud enough for everyone upstairs to hear) about her awesome convertible,. She was complaining about how it was so beautiful and sunny when she left her house this morning that she decided to drive with the top down. Then when she got a couple miles from work she suddenly drove into a wall of fog, and boy what a pisser that was. She's complaining about the fog, and her now frizzy hair, but still talking affectionately about her awesome convertible.

GWSBM says something like, "Well when you get tired of the convertible the GWSBM Foundation is always accepting donations."

This made me laugh out loud (because I was thinking relatively the same thing), and since I'm always in Super Shy Mode when I'm around people I haven't been around much before (i.e. my new officemates), this was something new and different and shocked one of my new desk neighbors so much that he felt the need to comment about it. (Which can be really annoying to us Super Shy people sometimes.)

GWSBM made a comment too. Something like, 'Hey, she laughs!'

And I replied with something like, "Of course I laugh. I've been laughing at you for days now."

That made the guys chortle, which made my day because I think it earned me some cool points. Since I need all the cool points I can get I'll be hoarding those like a muthafugga. The guys congratulated me on a fabulous comeback and I bowed graciously and thanked them and the academy.

I don't always have the right comeback, or even a semi-decent one, when the time calls for it. Most of the time I think of the comeback minutes, hours, even days later, when its too late to use it. But sometimes... sometimes a zinger comes to me and I'm able to spit it out in a complete and coherent sentence for all within earshot to enjoy and savor.

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