Just another manic tuesday that's really my monday because I was still on vacation yesterday and oh my gawd I can't believe I'm back at work already.

Sheesh. I come back from vacation and all of a sudden there's a massive, mad-scientist-manufactured-mutant-sized amount of work to be done! I can't even climb through the backlog of emails without people calling me for help, asking me questions, making me do some research that needs to be done now now NOW! Don't you people know I don't want to work today?!?!?!?

Silly me, I almost called in sick today.

Why didn't I? Because I knew there was a ton of work to do. And the thought of having to deal with it (the backlog), plus all the stuff in my calendar for today, all on Wednesday didn't sound appetizing. Plus, I'd feel bad. I know how the bosses and everyone else rolls their eyes and shakes their heads disapprovingly when someone calls in sick the day they're supposed to come back from vacation. I'd have felt guilty for lying.

Isn't that sad?

I guess I could have claimed an allergic reaction to bugs. Can't come into work today as the socks and shoes and pants are rubbing against my itchy mosquito bites and it hurts and is driving me FUCKING BAT SHIT CRAZY! That should be a good enough excuse, I think. I have at least 8 bites on each leg. Seriously. I probably have more but I stopped counting after the first few and started scratching the rest of them. And I swear, I practically doused myself in Fuck-Off-Bug-Off spray.*

* Names of actual insect repellents have been changed in order to protect the worthless pieces of crap.

More on that later. But first I need to go run a report for the boss's boss. All while trying not to fall asleep at my desk.

Step right up ladies and gentleman and see the Amazing Loonini juggle reports and emails and bug bites and people asking stupid questions that they can answer their own fucking selves if they just take one minute out of their precious schedules to look it up instead of wasting many minutes of the Amazing Loonini's time because they have to explain what the problem is because the Amazing Loonini has no fucking idea what the hell is going on because she's been gone for four days... *deep breath* ... see her do all this, all while sleep walking!

Ahhh... it's good to be back. :)