haven't you always wanted a monkey?

The Friday Five

You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first?

The HB. Unless he's there with me when I win, then I'd call my mommy.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?

The very first thing? Once the money is safe and sound and thoroughly verified of its residency in my bank account, I'd probably buy myself a ridiculously expensive bottle of champagne and an outrageously expensive fancy dinner. And I'd invite a close-knit group of family and friends. And dinner would be on me! And if they're nice, I'll buy another bottle of champagne for them all to share. That first bottle is all mine!

The first big item I'd buy would be a new car. One that doesn't look like a granny car. One that has spunk. And a hybrid engine. Yeah. That'd be awesome.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?

After the dinner...

My first thought was I'd buy the HB his dream car, but the car is not just his dream, it's a goal he's reaching for. I can't just buy his goal for him - he wants to earn it. But maybe he doesn't necessarily feel the need to earn the motorcycle he's been jonsing for over the last couple of years.

But... I don't really want him to have a motorcycle. The last time he owned one some crazy driver ran him and a friend off the road. His bike was totaled, but luckily he walked away with only a bit of road burn. So a motorcycle? Eh... maybe not.

Okay. I'd buy him whatever fancy paintball accessory he wants. That shit can get expensive, but if I had a million dollars it would no longer matter.

Then I'd buy something for my parents. Like new carpeting!!! Since my parents don't have kids at home to spend money on anymore they're re-vamping the house. And apparently they're leaving the ugly green and black shag carpeting (that for some reason was cool back when the house was built) for the very end. Bleagh.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?

Yes. I'd give some to charities. I don't know which ones exactly. I'd do a lot of research first and find out which ones would utilize my hard won money the best. Mainly though, I'd give money to causes that mean a lot to my family and friends.

I'd also give money to my old high school and elementary school. I'd love to be an 'anonymous benefactor' giving the kids money for stuff like special school trips.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how?

Hell yes! I'm investing lots of it. That way I can make lots and lots more. I need to make enough for me to give a lot away, spend a lot for the rest of my life (and I'm young with a lot of spending years still left in me), and still have enough so that my mom can take champagne baths everyday if she wanted to. Because that would be one of the perks of being my financial advisor, which my mom will be once I win my million (or more) dollars.


Now if I could just get this Barenaked Ladies song stuck out of my head...