Would you rather...
1. be omnipotent OR be omniscient?
I would rather be omnipotent. Knowing everything might be fun for a while, but it would slowly drain all the excitement and mystery and anticipation out of life. How sad! Besides, no one would want to play trivia board games (which my family likes to do during holiday-get-togethers) with a pain in the ass know it all. And if I knew it all, I'd be a pain in the ass about it. At least I would at first. "I knew that was going to happen..." "Hey, did you know that when a hippo has sex..." "I wouldn't put my finger in that if I were you..." "Do I have to let my teammates answer a question? Wait, don't answer that. I already know the answer. NO!"
Being all powerful and such I'd be able to do anything I wanted. Because what I say goes! I'd sure get a kick out of that. I'd have the ultimate
And henchmen. I'd have henchmen! They would do all my bidding of course. Like building me a pyramid. And my henchmen will organize big star-studded parties for me to attend so I can meet a bunch of famous people who are dying to meet me. And my henchmen will police the streets in batman costumes to protect the people, my people of course, from the bad guys. And my henchmen will go to the store and buy me tampons in a girly emergency. And... well, the list could go on and on.
See? Being omnipotent would be a lot more fun than being omniscient. Plus, being omnipotent, I could have in my service someone who is omniscient. If I needed to know anything, they'd be right there to tell me. That way I could be all power and all knowing - after a quick query that is - all at the same time.
2. win the nobel prize for medicine because you invented a pill that will help grow hair back OR work for the peace corps rebuilding a village and help thousands of people?
I would rather win the nobel prize. Helping others help their hair grow back would be great. Especially for people who loose it because of chemotherapy and such of the like. And I could help guys grow their hair back when they start to go bald. And while I find some bald men incredibly sexy, I could do without seeing the frightful wispy comb-overs.
Plus, with the nobel award comes a huge chunka prize change. With that money I can fund a peace corps mission to help many thousands of people. Especially those with premature hair loss. "Free samples for everybody!"
3. your genitals glow red whenever you are aroused OR your skin turn lobster red whenever you are frustrated?
Dude! I don't have to think about this one for very long at all! I would so love red glowing genitalia! Wooo!
And not just because I would hate to turn lobster red whenever I get frustrated. Because right now, I turn crayola red when ever I laugh. Or exercise. Or get even just slightly hot at all. It's embarrassing.
About a year ago I was in a meeting up in the front office with a bunch of people who were all higher up on the corporate food chain than I was. They were also all men. All men who were used to having this particular meeting be all male. So, there I was, feeling all-important and stuff because I was getting a chance to play grown-up and sitthing there trying to look confident and all-serious-business like while one guy starts talking about his department. '...Now we don't want to blow our wad all at once so Yadda yadda yadd...'
I've heard that 'blow your wad' phrase before many times. I've also heard a lot worse, so I didn't really notice what he'd said. But the head of the department did. And he just had to point it out. Everyone else had noticed too. Then the guy talking noticed that everyone noticed and he got very embarrassed. Everyone started to laugh. Including me. I thought it was funny. He said 'blow' and 'wad' in front of a girl at a meeting! Tee hee! Only problem is, when I laugh I turn red. Really red sometimes. The Department Head turns to me and says 'Look! You've made her blush!' I wasn't embarrassed at all until he pointed out that I was blushing. Which I wasn't damn it!
I really don't need another reason to turn bright red. At least bright red all over. My genitalia on the other hand, they could turn red and I wouldn't mind. "Look honey! My boobs are on fire! They're on fire for you baby!" It'd be like giving the HB a compliment. How nice. And if he ever got lost, that red glowing skin would be like a beacon to him. A beacon of love. A lighthouse guiding him home... Not that he needs any help, mind you. But you know, it couldn't hurt. Because, I mean, what if it's ever really foggy... and we're outside... and... yeah. Okay. Next question...
4. in one sitting, eat ten pounds of cheese OR a bucket of peanut butter (with nothing to drink)?
I love cheese. I really do. While making breakfast with the HB this last weekend I was cutting up cheese for a quesadilla and ate almost as much as I cut off the block. Mainly because I wasn't going to eat the quesadilla; it was for the HB. And I couldn't just cut the cheese *snicker* without eating a piece myself. One piece for the quesadilla. One piece for me. One piece for the quesadilla...
Ten pounds of cheese though? Yeesh. I think that would make me sick before I even got to the half way mark. If I eat too much cheese, or a certain type of cheese, it gives me a headache. And other unpleasant ailments. So even if the 'sitting' lasts a long time, I don't know if it would be wise to eat that much cheese.
So I would rather eat a bucket of peanut butter. I love peanut butter. Even if there's nothing to eat it on I'll just scoop it out of the tub and lick it off the spoon/finger like it's a peanutbuttercicle. It's great when you have milk or something to wash it down with. Yummy stuff. But even without any liquid refreshment help, I'd still rather eat the bucket's worth of pb.
How big is this bucket anyway? If it's a big bucket I'd be in trouble. And my mouth would be really sore by the time I'm done with all that pb sticking to the roof of my mouth. Still, I'd rather chance the tired jaw and tongue etc. than getting sick from the cheese.
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