it's my cake and i'll poke it if i want to

I went to a two year-old's birthday party this last Saturday. Dude, do they know how to rake in the presents or what?! I can't remember the last time I got a bunch of Care Bears and musical toasters and plastic animals and a gatrillion balloons for my birthday. It's been too long, that's why. Too damn long.

And I can't remember the last time I got away with sticking my finger in the cake. Nowadays, when I poke the cake I get slapped. Wuz up wit dat? No one looks at me like I'm a precious two year old and thinks 'oh isn't she just the cutest!'

Why they don't think that, I have no idea. They just don't. But dammit I am cute!!! Just like Dot Warner.

"I'm the one they adore
I'm sweet and I'm cuddly
And small just like Dudley but more
It's a chore
To be constantly cute
And enchanting to boot..."

It really is a chore to be constantly cute and enchanting to boot. [she types with heavy sarcasm] :)