I shouldn't have thrown out my mini trampoline. I always knew that maybe some day I'd need it.

So the HB and I bought a new bed the other day. And it's a big friggin' bed too! (I was going to use a different 'F' word, but the bed is multifunctional. ;) )

With our old bed, the frame broke the first year we had it (and no I won't go into explaining why) so we've been sleeping on two small 'What's the cheapest you have?' mattresses for the last couple of years. It went from all right, to uncomfortable, to almost painful, causing restless sleep sessions and such. I had trouble sleeping in late on the weekends it was so bad! We desperately needed a new bed.

We've shopped around here and there but hadn't been quite in the mood (i.e. had the money) to take the bed-buying plunge. We still weren't quite 'in the mood' so to speak, but the HB got a bug up his butt the other day and wanted to rearrange the bedroom. (HB math: Bug + butt = neurotic need to rearrange furniture). He got as far as moving the bed and one dresser before he realized that now was a good time to buy a bed. So off to the bed stores we went.

The HB wanted something soft, so we were looking at beds with big thick 'pillow tops'. Or whatever they're called. We were looking at the relatively cheap beds (because I'm as broke as a destructive three-year-old boy's action figure toy - and the HB is broker than I am!) and we found a bed we liked. We went to two other stores to see if we could find it cheaper. We didn't, so we went back to the first store.

We looked at the cheap beds some more, asked a few questions, then the salesman kindly, and oh so thoughtfully, pointed out the really really nice beds on the other side of the room. One in particular in fact. It was very nice. And huge. And oh so squishy soft. It made all the other beds quiver in envy. So of course that's the one the HB just had to fall in love with.

The bed was already on sale for about half the price, but Mr. Salesman said he'd give us the floor model for about half of the half. That came out to just a hundred or so more than we were willing to pay for the Not Quite As Nice But A Heck Of A Lot Cheaper bed on the other side of the room. Now please don't offer any comments or statistics about how showroom floor mattresses are really gross. My brain just isn't going to go there thank you very much. Besides, once we saw it, and the new price, we just had to buy it. Well, one of us had to buy it, and I'm just not the picky one in our relationship. While I was busy doing math in my head to see if we could afford to pay it off in a year (no interest for a year! woo!) the HB was staring at his new friend with a twinkle in his eye. He was in love.

We bought the bed.

It looked big in the showroom, but it was hard to judge its exact size squeezed in amongst its competitors. (I wonder if judges have similar problems in wet tighty-whitey contests.) It looked big, but not that big. Let me just say that I think there's some kind of funky distortion of reality going on in that mattress store.

Our apartment bedroom is small. And with all the stuff crammed into the bedroom it looks even smaller. On one side of our old Just Two Small Mattresses bed there was a small side table thingy that was level with the mattresses. On the other side there was a small dresser that you had to look up at to see from the mattress. The bed was so low to the floor that it came up to about mid shin level. If that.

Now this new bed is, well, it's elite. And it comes up to my waist! The two mattresses are taller than our old ones, plus it has that top soft and squishy pillow top thing. Plus there's the bed frame. So the bed is really tall. And it's a size bigger so its really wide. After the movers brought in the bed pieces and stacked them all up, the HB and I stood in our bedroom and stared that the monstrosity that was our new bed. It is sooooooo huge looking! It looks like it takes up twice the space the old one did. And in a small apartment bedroom that's saying a lot. Standing there, staring with eyes wide open in 'what the hell did we just buy' shock, I was seriously thinking I might need a stepladder to climb up onto it. Either that, or a mini trampoline.

With this new addition to our bedroom we have to get rid of the mini bedside table thingy because it's so much lower than the bed. It just looks weird. And there's not much room for all my precious junk so I'm going to have to weed through a lot of it and figure out what stuff I can part with.

I'm a compulsive packrat, so I've accumulated a lot of stuff over the last couple of years. Important stuff. Some of which I don't really need or use at the moment, but I keep for the sake of Maybe Some Day. Maybe Some Day I'll find a use for that ball of string and all those blank cassette tapes. Maybe Some Day I'll be doing an art project and need those magazine clippings and cutely shaped confetti pieces and saved cardboard rectangles. Maybe Some Day I'll be looking at my knickknack collection and realize that what's missing is a tiny Hello Kitty wind up Happy Meal toy, and I'll be so bummed that I had one and threw it away!

Last night, after the bed arrived, we went out and bought a new set of sheets and storage containers. Two storage bins (that fit underneath the bed - cool beans!) are for me and my junk and two are for the HB (who says he only needs one but is sure I'll need a third so he grabbed two - annoying know-it-all). I'm going to trash some stuff, then fill my new bins up with all the stuff I can't quite part with yet. You know, because Maybe Some Day... I'll store it away then deal with it later. A perfect plan full of procrastination and denial that lets me still give off the impression that I'm cleaning and doing work. Brilliant!

And hey, getting rid of that stuff will just make room for me to collect more stuff. Woo!

One more thing I'd like to mention in this already way too long rambling post. The bed is evil. Evil I tell you! I was so comfortable this morning in a squishy soft state of glee; it was a struggle to leave it and come into work.

Which means I'd better hurry up and become a best selling mega bucks earning writer, or some other super star, pretty soon. That way I can stay in bed as long as I want.