Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Tuesday is Chooseday

tuesday is chooseday

Would you rather...

1. go through 5 years of poverty and get $10,000,000 OR go through 1 year of poverty and get $100,000?

Being poor sucks. I'm nowhere near the poverty line, but my current financial situation still SUCKS. So five years of poverty? Major suckiness. But look at the pay out. Seven zeros so kicks five zeros' ass! You could live the high and mighty life off that first number. The second figure isn't enough for me to retire on, so I'd still have to slave away at my daily grind. It would help me pay off debts, sure. And buy a new couch to replace the broken one in my living room that I can't afford to get rid of so I just fall in a whole every time I sit down in the wrong spot. But what if some small disaster happens and I'm broke again? Back to the suckiness. I'd probably regret it by year 3 or 4, but I think I'd rather go with the first option. And just keep reminding myself 'ten million. Ten million. Ten million.'

2. date someone who is fabulous looking but has unmaskable, horrible breath OR someone who is simply average but has great breath all the time?

I'd rather date someone average with great breath. I wouldn't be able to stand being around Horrible Breath Guy, so what would be the fun in dating him. Sure, he'd be great for high school reunions, or family reunions, or grocery check out lines. As long as he didn't speak and kept his mouth closed that is. But showing him off to make everyone insanely jealous of me is not the only reason I'd be dating him ("wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more"), but that with the horrible breath anything else wouldn't be as fun. So I'll stick with Average Guy.

3. hand wash the poopy cloth diapers for 50 babies for a day OR hand wash the poopy cloth diapers for 5 babies for a week?

I did the math (I have no idea why really) and discovered that the second option has less poopy diapers to wash. Around 30% less. That sounds pretty good. But after all that math I realize that I'd want to get it all over and done with. Even if it was something like 500 diapers in one day.

Because you'd get in a groove. You'd become RoboPoopyWasher, blocking out the terror of what you have to do, going to your special place to push past the pain. And at the end of the day it would all be over. With the second option, you have to keep revisiting the horror of poopy diapers. It just seems to drag on. With poop everywhere! With no escape! Oh the horror!

You know, this is sooooooo making me want to have kids. :)

4. be fat, dumb, and happy OR in excellent shape, sharp as a whip, but melancholy or depressed all the time?

Well, I'm currently fat, dumb, and happy. And it's working out pretty well for me. :)

I'd rather be happy. Being happy is the bomb! It's awesome. Being depressed sucks. No fun. And its all about the fun!


See? Currently happy. Because it's all good in the loonyhood.

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