Thursday, May 05, 2005

Beware the Spontaneous Jumping Bits of Food

They attack when you least expect it.
Doing kamikaze cannonballs off the fork.
Landing in the boobal area for all the world (i.e. esteemed colleagues) to see.

They are dangerous, these Spontaneous Jumping Bits of Food.
They've killed more shirts than I care to count.

If you're a sufferer like me, a person afflicted with BOSFAA (Boobs Of Supernatural Food Attracting Abilities), you know what I'm talking about.

I was attacked at lunch today. A small piece of chicken from the Cinco De Mayo Potluck Enchiladas I was about to consume jumped from my fork and dive bombed my chest. Did it very sneakily too, as I'm sure many minutes past before I noticed it.

When I did, I rushed the shirt to the Emergency (bath)Room. Put some cold water on it STAT! It was touch and go there for awhile. Touch and scrub and scrub and goddamnstainwon'tgoaway for awhile. But the shirt is in stable condition now. I think its going to pull through.

*crosses fingers*

I'm thinking about going back for seconds. Or even for firsts on the all the food I didn't have room for on my plate the first time through. But I don't know if I should. It might be too soon. Shirt might be too traumatized.

Then again, there is Kahlua cake.

Traumatized shirt, shmaumatized shmirt!

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