Friday, May 27, 2005

My Coffee (Not-Quite-Yet-An-)Addiction Confession

I'm kind of worried about my recent coffee consumption. I used to hate coffee, and rightly so, because it can be some down right nasty shit sometimes (like when someone uses up all the sugar and creamer - greedy bastards!). There was a time when I wouldn't have been caught dead anywhere near a coffee bean, even the chocolate covered ones. But that was then, when I was young and naive about the ways of the world.

I soon got older and discovered fancy coffee concoctions and thought, 'hey, this stuff isn't that bad.' Especially iced mochas. *major droolage*

But I never wanted to be one of those people that needed coffee to help them wake up in the morning. It was like some sort of scary addictive drug, that morning cup of coffee. I'd heard the horror stories of coffee-less mornings from strung out coffee addicts. I'd seen my mom grumble wearily when the mr. coffee forgot to do its thing. I never wanted to rely on, to need something that badly in order to wake up in the morning. But then again, that was when I was young and oh so naive about the wondrous power of this drug we call caffeine.

I haven't progressed to that stage yet. I don't need a cup of coffee when I first wake up. I don't even want coffee when I first wake up in the morning. But when I get to work... now that's a different beast all together. I started drinking coffee, the non-fancy Starbucks-type of coffee, here at work. Right around the time when everyone was running around like nearly headless chickens after botched hatchet jobs - otherwise known as The Great Big Scary Corporate Audit. Back then, a cup of sweet sugary coffee sure was nice in the last couple hours of the day. That's when I drank it, in the afternoon. Not in the morning.

But now, now I drink it in the morning. Maybe its just a great way to procrastinate. Clock in. Turn on computer. Go to the bathroom. Check teeth for unflattering bits of food even though they were brushed clean a half hour ago. Say good morning to the soda vending machine. Fix a cup of coffee with a little sugar and lots of powdered creamer (I like my coffee like I like my men - light brown. Heh.)

And as I doctor the coffee I think to myself, 'why am I drinking this? It doesn't even taste all that great. It doesn't make me hyper. I'd better not have any tomorrow, just so's I don't get addicted or anything.'

When tomorrow comes, I'm already fixing myself a cup of coffee before I remember I wasn't going to have any. D'oh! Lately, I have cut back a little bit on the coffee consumption. I only drink it about 3 or 4 mornings a week. Heh. It's just that it tastes so good with the morning pastry!

There is something, a saving grace of sorts, that I know I can rely on to not get too hooked. Hooked to the point where I need a hit of coffee the minute I wake up. And that saving grace is my laziness. I can't be bothered with all the work that goes into making coffee, and I doubt I ever will. Filters and scoops and water and measuring and blah blah blah. Phooey to that my friends! Phooey. To. THAT!

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