You don't need endless supplies of avocados to goof around and do squat.

I called my mom last night to ask her a couple of things, and, as so often happens here in the Land of Forgetfulness, I immediately forgot all three questions as soon as the phone was answered. But it was my dad who answered the phone so I chatted with him a bit and didn't have to worry about what I'd so inconveniently forgotten.

Last weekend my dad was up in Santa Cruz with a brother-in-law and there was apparently some sort of music video being filmed at their hotel. My dad asked me if I watch a lot of music videos because he wants me to play lookout for him. Occasionally, in the morning as I'm getting ready for work, I'll change the channel from the news to MTV or MTV2 or VH1. So I see some videos. But I don't have TRL in a tivo wishlist or anything so I wouldn't say I see a lot of videos. Sorry daddy-o.

My dad starts telling me about this music video anyways. Or whatever it is. He wasn't quite sure what was going on. It could have been a big blockbuster movie or a student film or whatever. But he did know that the 'video' is about a black guy dressed up as a bellhop who likes to sing in the elevator.

So please, if you ever see this video, or movie, or whatnot, let me know. I promised my dad I'd keep an eye out for it. :)

That's all the information he could give me: black guy, bellhop, elevator. He doesn't know who the singer was, but that doesn't mean anything. The guy could have been the biggest super star on the planet and my dad might have recognized him, but wouldn't have known his name. He's not really into music and pop culture stuff. But he said it was really fun to watch these guys running back and forth along the balcony.

And, as my dad is telling me all this, I can hear my mom yelling in the background, "Who would she want it to be?" or something like that. She yells this several times, but my dad isn't playing along and keeps talking with me. When he finally hands the phone over to my mom she says, "Who would you want it to be next to you in the elevator?" I tried to think of a black male singer and my first thought was that Kayne West guy, but I couldn't think of his name, so I tried to think of another guy. Poof! The mind pulls up a picture of Luther Vandross. An old guy. Blah. I try and think of another guy and poof! I think of Lionel Ritchie. Another old guy. Blah blah blah. My mom's first thought? Usher. Why she's thinking of the young hot studs and I'm not I have no idea. But that's just wrong! It should be the other way around! I blame it on whatever caused my temporary memory loss.

I could practically hear my mom drooling over the phone when she said the name Usher. "Wouldn't you like to be in an elevator with him?"

"Not really."

"No??? He's hot."

"Eh." (I'll admit he's hot but he doesn't exactly get my boat a floatin')

"I'd especially want to be near those abs. *drool sound* Wouldn't you?"

"Eh, not so much. They're a bit too much for me."

There were a few more moments of my mom waxing poetically about the beauty and perfection that is Usher's stomach muscles. Then we got down to the reason for my call. My questions.

"Uh... I was going to ask you three questions. Now I can't remember them."

She laughes. And it's a laugh that says, 'been there, done that, and it only goes down hill from here you poor, young, thing you.'

Then the questions started coming back to me, one by one. In case you are wondering (as I know you all must be) here are the answers:

No, I don't need to figure out how to bring a sweater to texas with me in case it gets cold. My mom is packing an extra one I can steal if I need it. Not that I'll be needing one, its going to be so friggin' hot there next week (next week! heeee!) but it never hurts to be prepared.

And sure, mom can record the season finale of Lost for me, but she might forget to not delete it when she's done watching it. "Can't you watch it?" she asks me. "I plan to, but what if the apartment catches on fire? What if the FBI arrest me by mistake because they think I'm Kiki the Evil Mastermind of a drug smuggling ring and the tivo doesn't work? I'm just covering my bases." "Oh, okay. I'll see what I can do."

The third question wasn't anything important. I just was wondering who my mom was going to spend her hard earned cash on when she votes for the next American Idol. It's Carrie, who she's been in love with since day one. That's the chick's name right? Who ever isn't Bo, that's who she's voting for.

I almost want to start watching American Idol so I don't feel so left out when I'm in a room of people who absolutely salivate when the topic of Idol gets started. But then I think about the last few times I've attempted to watch the show and I cringe. I just can't do it. I can only handle that show in five minute increments. Which is why the fast forward button is a mah-velous invention.

Anywhoo... time to goof around and do squat elsewhere. :)

(Post title once again courtesy of, of course, The Dr. Phil Random Quote Generator )