Wednesday, May 04, 2005

A Morning In The Life Of The Fabulous Me

Here's a look at my day, as it stands so far...

4:30 am - I wake up.

Now, I don't normally wake up so friggin early. Lately the HB has been taking catnaps before going into work. And he's been dragging me right along with him so he has someone to cuddle with as he falls asleep. Cute, eh? So its not like I'm really dragged into the bedroom. Only problem is, sometimes I've been falling asleep myself. Last night, when the HB got up around 9:30 pm to go to work, I thought I was wide awake. I thought I'd be getting up with him so I could fold some laundry, pay some bills, and more importantly, watch some tv. Yeah, well, next thing I knew its 4 friggin 30 in the morning and I'm wide awake.

5:02 am - I'm in the shower sniffing the oil of olay body wash - with shea butter!!! - until I'm giddy with heady delight.

Just because I'm wide awake doesn't mean I can't 'sleep in' a bit. It was nice just laying there, not having to roll out of bed grudgingly or jump out of bed to do the Mad Morning Dash. But finally enough was enough. I had me some yummy body wash to sniff. And I had me some tivo-ed Veronica Mars I had to watch.

5:56 am - Finish watching VM and start fixing breakfast

Microwaved chicken nuggets dipped in a combination of ketchup and Del Taco mild sauce - breakfast of champions!

6:27 am - Finish watching previously half-watched tivo-ed Everwood and start watching tivo-ed The Amazing Race

This is when I realize I should start writing those checks for those bills that had to be put in the mail this morning OR ELSE!

7:08 am - Still haven't left the apartment yet.

Everything I could do in front of the tv set to get ready I did. Everything else waited until commercial breaks. By this time, though, all the necessary bills were paid and all the necessary body parts were brushed and deodorized and etc. I should have left a couple of minutes prior to 7:09, but all I had left to watch of The Amazing Race were the previews for next weeks episode. I could leave with just a minute left to watch!

7:31 am - I arrive at work.

Dude, I just made it! The Traffic Gods were definitely smiling on me this morning.

7:35 am - Nearly had a mild panic attack

I thought I was wearing the same shirt I wore yesterday. Eek! I racked my brain for a few frantic seconds, remembered what I wore yesterday, and breathed a big friggin sigh of relief. It's a similar color, but its not the same shirt. How embarrassing would that have been ?!

And its not like I thought I put on a smelly dirty shirt. I did laundry last night. All my shirt are clean. I just wasn't paying attention this morning when I grabbed a shirt (which was handily located on the chair next to the couch where I was watch tv. I knew there was a reason I didn't put away my freshly laundered clothes last night.)

7:49 - I hit my head on the bathroom stall door

Okay, now see, this could happen to anybody. I'm sure it could. There are two stalls in the girls bathroom up stairs. There's a teeny tiny one that doesn't allow for much acrobatics (like when you've got a tricky belt on or tricky pants or just a Caution Wide Load ass) and then there's the handicapped one, big enough to reenact the dance moves of your favorite J-Lo music video (not that I've done anything remotely like that. I've just recognized the bathroom stall's potential. That's all.)

The lock on the handicapped stall door is very tricky, but there's room to maneuver in there and when I pee I like to feel sardine free. (Hey! That rhymes!)

So this morning, after my tinkle, I tried to slide the lock across and, impatient I must have been for some reason, because I started to walk out before the door was actually opened.


Door smacked me right in the forehead. It's normally so simple. Slide metal thingy to the right, push door, walk out. It's that simple, that easy, that smooth. Only this morning, the metal thingy didn't slide, so the push on the door didn't work. Neither did my exit.

I'm sooooooooo glad no one was in there with me. Small miracles people! Be thankful for the small miracles!

7:50 am - ZIT ALERT!!!! ZIT ALERT!!!!

There's a fucking zit on my nose!!! Right there on the top of my nose, all red and shiny and shit, going 'look at me! Look at me!' Little rat bastard. It'd better be gone by this weekend is all I've got to say. I have a wedding to go to on Saturday!

8:47 am - Staring at desk, wondering how it got so messy.

There's paper everywhere! Some have scribbled notes to myself of things I need to do, to fix, to update, etc. Some are reference sheets, some are tasks I keep putting off, some are from training manuals I've got to set up. The pieces of paper are multiplying like rabid little sex bunnies! It used to be organized so it wasn't as much of a mess. Well, it's always looked like a mess, but I have a system and it works for me. But lately, its getting out of control. What the hell happened to my desk?!

8:59 am - print out Dilbert cartoon

Thought it was time to update the Dilbert cartoon with one The Boss might not find so offensive. ("It's on my wall because its funny, but not in a Ha Ha That's Just Like My Boss sort of way. Honest. You're nothing like that Mr. Boss Man.) It also helps keep the work space feeling fresh and happy and workable. Now the mess of papers doesn't look so scary. Wait, not scary. I'm not afraid of the stupid pieces of paper. If I were, I'd shove them in mini cabinets along with all the other work I've successfully ignored.

9:33 am - start email conversation with best friend

I was having a bit of wedding outfit anxiety. And wedding gift anxiety (To Gift or Not To Gift? That is the question my broke ass is asking.) And a bit of Inside Wedding Card note writing anxiety (I never know what to write inside a card and when I finally do write something its really lame, which is sort of a theme I've got going and anything different would probably through the recipient for a loop so I probably shouldn't change my style now that I'm so well known for it and... gah!). So yeah, had to whine a bit on the best friend's shoulder. I feel much better (i.e. less neurotic) now.

10:32 am - write last entry for boring recount of one's not-really-all-that-interesting-after-all morning.

I've been writing this off and on all morning and while this form of procrastination is thoroughly amusing its time to dig deeper into the pile o' crap on my desk. Time to finish some things and rearrange everything else so it looks like more works been done than not. :)

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