I'm thinking of making myself a button that reads: Fuck off Mr. Flu Bug!

I assume the flu bug is a mister. Just seems like a boy thing to do to attack you and make you all sick and up-chuck-y. :)

I also assume that flu bugs can read. They probably can't. But just in case, I'm covering my cute little fat ass.

How else can I avoid the flu? It's everywhere!

Yesterday, here at work, one employee was sitting at the desk next to me. Mr. BossMan and another employee were standing right frickin' behind me. The three of them end one conversation and started talking about how sick they've been lately. The one next to me is recovering from the flu, and you can still hear a little bit of sickness in his scratchy voice. Mr. BossMan behind me is very sick. He's not throwing up, thankfully, but he's pale and sickly looking. He looks like he's about ready to drop dead of exhaustion. The other guy behind me just got over his bout of the flu. They're talking about the headaches and the chills and the stomach upheavals and the total utter miserable feeling of it all. As they talk about this fun stuff they're coughing and breathing germs RIGHT ON ME! Hello people! Non-sick person here right in front of you. Wants to stay non-sick person thank you very much.

So I says, "Hey all you sick people. I'm not sick. Go away."

I threw in some 'shoo fly shoo' hand motions for added emphasis.

I was really only half serious, but the BossMan and the guy next to him left to resume their previous conversation out in the hallway.

That's the power of the 'shoo fly shoo' hand motion right there for ya!

There are a few people missing from work because they're busy being sick at home like decent normal people. Though, to be fair, there's a big project going on here that has to get done, and since one of the supervisors isn't here (he's sick) Mr. BossMan dragged his sick butt out of bed to work. What a trooper! The trooper better not make me sick before this weekend or I'll be pissed.

There are a lot of people here at work who aren't sick, but everyone in their family is. So they're germ carriers all the same. Bah!

I thought about calling in sick myself. Great excuse, this flu bug. "I've got the flu. Can't come in. Gonna go throw up now. Bye." But what if I actually get the flu after a few days? "Uh... I got the flu again. Can you believe that shit? Gonna go throw-- [insert sound of phone hitting floor as I drop it and run for a safe place to throw up in.]"


Dear Mr. Flu Bug,

I've got family plans this weekend. I've got friends plans the following weekend. I've got Christmas plans later the next week. These are very important plans. I will not get sick. You here me Mr. Flu Bug? I will not get sick! So fuck off Mr. Flu Bug! And have a Merry Christmas. :)

Sincerely,
Loon