Vendor Sucking Up Update

Vendors keep bringing in sweet snacks and desk calendars (with their name and phone numbers prominently displayed all over it.) I'm glad I share an office with the guy who deals with the vendors and who is the main focus of the sucking up. :) 'I brought you cookies and calendars for Christmas! Ain't I nice! Buy more stuff from me next year!'

First it was Sees candy, which the guys in the office decided to hide in my desk. Bastards. Then it was a fancy tin of chocolate covered cookies. Logically my desk was the obvious hiding place, since I did so well hiding the Sees, so in my drawers the cookies went. Desk drawers that is.

Yesterday, as the second shift came on, there were about eight people mulling about in the office here. The cookies had been safely hidden before they're arrival. All of a sudden FM (my immediate boss) says, 'Hey! Where'd the damn cookies go?' This of course alerted the masses to the possibility of a cookie snack before actual work had to be done. 'Cookies? Where cookies? Me want cookies?' (Okay, so they don't really talk that way. But I'm sure that was the general thought going through their mind.)

I didn't want to give away the secret and face the wrath of the Cookie Hoggers, who I guess assume the cookies are for them and only them since they were in the room when the cookies arrived. And the fact that they're good friends with He Who Has Vendors Bringing Him Stuff. I didn't say anything, but I was smiling evilly with a knowledgeable grin. 'Hey, I bet she knows where they are.' Since I was the only 'she' in the office I figured they were on to me. (Watch out Nancy Drew! You've got some competition in the detection department!)

'Where are they?' FM asks me.

"Uh..." I pause for a bit while I debate whether to tell or not "...I can't say with so many people in the room."

FM, who knew about the Great Sees Stash of Xmas '03, asked, "Are they hidden in the same place?"

"Yep."

Everyone perks up at that. Heh. Heh. Heh. It's fun to be mean sometimes."Hidden cookies?" a few ask. I guess this appealed to some primitive instinct to 'find things'. "Ooh ooh where?"

As they looked around the room I said, "They're not necessarily hidden in here." I doubt anyone fell for my attempt at subterfuge. While they contemplated possible stashed cookie locations FM told them all to get off their asses and go back to work. Most jumped to it, but two lingered. One actually started pulling out people's desk drawers, opening cabinets, and looking under piles of stuff for the hidden cookies. As soon as FM got the last two out and on to work he walked over to me. "Where are they?" he asked again. Down boy. Down. Here's a cookie. Now roll over. Good boy.

I don't treat my boss that way. He just reminded me of a dog who watches you with sad doe-y dog eyes while you have the nerve to eat food in front of him that you're not sharing. It's a good survival skill dogs have perfected with time and evolution.

The Sees candy is gone. The fancy tin is half empty. As if sensing our soon-to-be-depleted cookie stash another vendor dropped by with a big-ass tin of butter cookies. Butter cookies are so yummy. Since there's no more room in my desk drawers they can't be stashed away there. But another Cookie Hog thought it'd be funny to hide them nonetheless. So they're hidden. Which is just plain mean. The tin is huge! The little cookies go down at least four layers. Maybe five! That's a lot of cookies. Let the masses eat those cookies while you concentrate on the secret stash of chocolate covered cookies, that's what I say. Or stash some of the butter cookies and leave the rest out. I guess they're just having too much fun playing Hide The Cookie. Hey, whatever floats your boat. That's what I say as well. At least with the cookies hidden I'm not tempted to sample all the different varieties. Yep. That's a good thing.

And desk calendars! That's a good thing too. I've got a desk calendar on my desk (a desk calendar on my desk! Oh the novelty of it all!), a hanging calendar hanging up on my little cubicle-like wall (with a bee-u-tiful picture of the coast of Maui for January - might not ever flip to february!), and another desk calendar to take home. Or hang up on the wall. I think this new calendar I got today is multi functional. Woot!