Tuesday is Chooseday

I just can't think of anything funny to write for these today. Oh well. Here goes nothing (and I do mean nothing)...


Would you rather:

1. everybody forget to get you a christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) present this year OR you forget to get everybody a christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) present this year?

I'd rather be the one without presents instead of being the one who didn't bring any. 'Tis better to give than to receive and all that corny merry shit.

Plus, if I forget presents this year, the givers will be less giving next year. I may end up not getting anything next year. And that would suck.

But if everybody forgets me this year, I can make them all feel real bad. Really really bad. "It's all right. *sniff* I don't expect you to remember little ol' me. *sniff*" You know, put on the whole Eeyore routine.

"Nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that's what it is." - Eeyore

I'll make them feel so bad they'll want to make up for it with next years gift. I'll score some awesome presents next year! Wooo!

2. be responsible for making 15 people homeless this winter knowing you'll be nice and comfortable OR lose your job tomorrow?

I'd make them homeless? It'd be my fault? And it's wintertime?

Well, let's say I'm asked to do something at work. If I do it, 15 become homeless. If I don't do it, I lose my job. Yikeees shnikeees. I don't think I could be the cause of 15 people becoming homeless right now. Especially with Christmas just around the bend. My job ain't all squirts and chortles to begin with, so losing it won't be too big a loss. So I guess I'd rather lose my job.

And hope I don't have to wait too long before cashing in on the good karma points I'd be racking up.

3. drink eggnog through a dirty sock OR eat roasted chestnuts that you found in the gutter?

I would rather drink eggnog through a dirty sock.

I'm assuming its mine - the sock I mean - and I know where my feet have been. Usually. So I know what my socks have been up too. (I keep them on a short leash). I'll know if any dogs have piddled on my socks, or something icky like that.

If I eat chestnuts found in a gutter, all manner of things could have sat, piddled, stepped, slimed, etc. etc. etc., on them. (My mind is so often in the gutter, I know how dirty it can get in there.) I don't want to eat any of the gross, ugly, evil germs that may contaminate the nuts. Bleah.

I'd much rather ingest my own germs. :)

4. have to french kiss your favorite aunt/uncle under the mistletoe OR be found shagging your neighbor's spouse during the holiday party?

There's no way I want to be in the situation where I 'have' to French kiss a relative, no matter if they're a favorite a not, so I'd rather be found shagging my neighbor's spouse. Especially if its my favorite neighbor's spouse. And I live next door to Gerard Butler's wife (once he has one).

::sigh:: Now that's a warm fuzzy thought to get me through the rest of the day. :)