Tuesday is Chooseday

Would you rather...

1. Have body odor that can be detected across the yard OR be hairy like Bigfoot?

I'd rather be hairy like Bigfoot. You can cover up most of the Bigfoot hair, but if your B.O. has that great a radius then there's nothing you can do to cover that up. The hair you can't cover up, but don't want showing, you shave. That's an option Bigfoot has. Ms. Smelly Ass can't shave off her B.O.

2. Chew shards of broken glass OR sit on a lighted barbecue grill?

I'd rather sit on a lighted barbecue grill. The first one is too painful to even think about. I can imagine the grill one though, and can imagine it hurting like a motherfucker. But that doesn't matter. Shards of glass? Uh huh. No. Thank. You.

3. As an adopted woman, find out that that you once dated your real father for a month when you were in your twenties OR find out he is a serial killer?

Well, if the most touching we did was hold hands, then I'd rather find out the first one. Anything else would be too gross. I'd be more grossed out by the first than I would be freaked out by the second.

4. Be stupid and rich OR smart and poor?

Money doesn't buy happiness. Extortion and threats of hideous disfigurement can get you enough money to fake the happiness for a while, but in the end, its all a mirage. And I don't like mirages. Mirages go away.

Being poor ain't that bad. It sucks great big donkey balls, but it ain't bad.

Being even just sorta smart, I'll know just how poor I actually am. And that will bum me out.

So I'd rather be stupid and rich, because ignorance is bliss. Being stupid I won't know anything. I won't even know what I'm missing out on. But at least I'll have the money to make up for it. Wheeeeee!