I've been gone since Wednesday. In the computer sense, that is. I haven't played in blog land, surfed around the rest of the 'net, played freecell addictively, or even just sat in front of a computer and stared at a blank, lifeless monitor (not that I do that sort of thing, mind you) for four whole days!

I thought about getting on the computer at my parent's house on Saturday, but they've got a very slow connection and its torture going to some sites. I could have at least checked my email (i.e. weeded out spam build up) but I decided not to. I resisted the urge. Yes, Luke, the force is strong with me.

But now I'm back, from outer space... er, wait, I've got disco song lyrics messing up my inner monologue here. Sorry 'bout that folks. So, um... okay... now I'm back from my parent's house and my mini vacation. And I brought with me a great big pain-in-the-sinus-cavities cold. Bleh. Being sick sucks. Sucks those nasty Sucrets throat lozenges my mom used to give me. I hated those things. They left such a nasty taste in my mouth. Bleh.

Good thing about having this cold: all the sneezing! I love sneezing. Though a lot of the sneezes took place on Saturday, when I was driving home on the freeways for a couple of hours. It's kind of scary to be sneezing while whizzing down a mountain in the dark. Especially when it’s a really big sneeze that let's loose a whole solar system of germs and requires your eyes to be shut for more than a couple seconds. Scary shit that is.

Bad thing about the cold: the type of sneezes. Usually when I sneeze I can do the silent sneeze or the girly dainty sneeze, only making a petite 'choo' noise. But with this cold, doing the silent/dainty sneeze is not an option. The sneezes are powerful and pack a wallop of a punch, the kind of punch that forces snot to explode from your nose holes at 25 mph. 'AAACHOOOOOO!' If I tried to contain that sneeze inside I'd have massive internal bleeding from the bursting of one of my organs. So I'm sneezing here at work, letting the sneeze have free reign, and hoping I don't hurt anyone with my Killer Flying Snot.

Another good thing about this cold: I'm kind of dizzy right now. Not a bad gonna-fall-and-whack-my-head-on-something-sharp sort of dizzy. It's more like a spacey ain't-this-fun-the-room-is-sort-of-tilting-wheeeeeeeee kind of dizzy. Good stuff. Great for work productivity. And disconjointed blog posts.

(Disconjointed isn't a word. At least that's what the spell checker says. I left it in there because I can't think of the word I meant to write. That's what an over abundance of snot does to me, besides making me loopy. It makes me forget words. Discombobulated? That's a cool word. But no, that's not quite the word I was thinking of. Oh well. Sad thing is I don't need to be sick and full of Killer Snot for me to be loopy and word forgetful. ::sigh::)

This morning, when Mr. OfficeBoss (who was home sick with the flu for a whole week) noticed my funny voice (its that sore throat voice that's barely audible. I'm thinking of picking up some extra cash working for one of those freaky fetish 900 phone lines for guys who like to talk with craggily voiced women), he said, ever so thoughtfully, "YOU DON'T HAVE THE FLU DO YOU?!?!"

Gee, worried about my well being? Thanks. "No." I said. "Just a cold. But it could turn into the flu. If you're worried about catching it you can send me home. I won't mind."

Since I'm still here at work I'm guessing he's not too worried about catching my cold. Ha! Wait till I go use his phone and cough all over his desk! That will teach him to send home the sickies before its too late!

Hmm... I wonder if they'll ever put the complete series of Animaniac cartoons on dvd. That would be awesome. Just a discombobulated thought. (That is one of my new favorite words. Discombobulated. I'm thinking of adopting it.)

Good Idea, Bad Idea

Good Idea: Going to the DMV on Christmas Eve (seriously, there was no one there! The H.B. and I were waited on right away! It was awesome.)
Bad Idea: Driving on major freeways on Christmas Eve (seriously, who are all those crazy people driving Christmas night? Couldn't they have left earlier? Or waited a couple hours? Didn't they know I had somewhere to be?!)

Back to this I Have A Cold So Feel Sorry For Me bit. I hate blowing my nose in front of people who aren't my family or close friends. I think this stems from a particular incident back in the seventh grade. I was sitting in the back of Mrs. Beckley's class and very quietly and daintily blew my nose (its hard to blow your nose daintily but I managed. I've got skillz!) and the boy sitting next to me, my so called friend Chin Juan, (or was it Juan Chin?) said very loudly, 'EWWWW BOOOGERS!' Yes, it was embarrassing and no, I did not proceed to wipe my dirty kleenex all over his binder like I should have.

Just for the record, I only took one over-the-counter-cold-medicine pill this morning. Honestly. I have no idea where all the above jumblage came from.

I have to run to the bathroom now and blow my nose in private. After I go make a call on Mr. OfficeBoss's phone of course. :)