To peak in the closet or not to peak in the closet?

Wait! 'Peak'? Er... that's a post for another time. On a more x-rated blog. With a more acrobatic blog writer. (I'm telling you, it's a tiny closet). What I meant to type was...

To peek in the closet or not to peek in the closet? That is the question... At least it was. The question that is. But now that I've peeked the question is no longer a valid query to ponder.

Okay, 'peek' is the wrong word here. I didn't 'peek'. I threw the Hall Closet door open and full on fondled the new boxes of toys inside.

But I did NOT cave under the pressure of massive wondering. NAY!

I only opened my presents after the HB peeked at his. *mumble mumble little snooping bastard mumble mumble*

Okay, you see, I bought the HB a xmas pressie about a month ago. It was a very expensive paintball gun, one he's seriously been creaming over for about two years now. So I bought it for him. Then I gave it to him right then and there in the store. (The paintball gun that is, for all of you with the gutter minds.) I think he would have cried if I hadn't. He took it home and cleaned it and oiled it and petted it and whispered sweet nothings in its sliding bolt thingy. I think he would have slept with it under his pillow if he could have gotten away with it.

Since he already had his present, I thought it would be nice to get him a little something he could open up on xmas eve. I had the present (a pen/laser beam doohickey) in the bag it was put in at the store and threw that bag and all my other stuff on a chair when I came home Sunday. Since the HB was up at his parent's house (which is a few hours away) I was in no hurry to wrap it up, but I planned to wrap it on Monday anyway. Just because. But the power was out in my apartment for most of the night on Monday so I couldn't. I read by candlelight, but I didn't dare deal with tape and scissors and neat xmas wrapping paper folds in the dim, flickering light.

When I got home yesterday after work, guess who was there? The HB! He was home! After I pounced on him and slobbered him with kisses I got up to show him something I had bought for his parents. That's when I realized the plastic bag the present was in was out in plain sight. Maybe he hasn't noticed yet. I thought. Maybe I can cleverly and subtly slip it into my still-unpacked-mini-suitcase still on the chair. I pulled out the other present, showed it to him, walked back to the chair, slipped it into the plastic bag with his gift, and nonchalantly slipped the plastic bag into the mini-suitcase.

"By the way," the HB says with a mischievous grin, "thanks for the pen."

ARRRGGGGGG!

He snooped. He was there for only a couple of hours and he'd snooped like crazy! And the can of Sees toffee candy (pure to-die-for yumminess) my parents wanted me to give to his parents for xmas? Yep, he got into that too. He didn't know it was a gift, true. But still! Control yourself man!

So no surprises for him to unwrap tonight. He doesn't care though. He says he hates surprises. Hrmph! What a little turd. :)

But hey, at least that meant I could open up the presents he jammed in the closet because he didn't have time (and paper) to wrap them before he left. Wooo! 'Opening' presents early is fun.

The reason the HB had driven back down was because he had forgotten to bring something for his dad. He said subconsciously he probably wanted to forget it. I like to think subconsciously he wanted to see me again, and not just piss off his dad. :) So that's the theory I'm going with. Isn't his subconscious cute?! He's a snooping little turd, but his subconscious is cute. :)

Oh, and last night, I can't remember what we were talking about, but for some reason I mentioned that I call him 'the HB' on this here blog.

"HB?" he says. "That sounds like a venereal disease."

"No it doesn't!"

"I dated this girl last month and she gave me a bad case of HB."

"But..." I sputtered. "No... it..."

"See?" he says all smug like. "Told ya so."

"Oh shut up."