Ch-ch-ch-choices

Would you rather...

1. in a bullfight, be raped by the bull while the whole stadium just sits and watches OR be gored in the nads, but people try to help you?

I would rather have my nads gored, even though I don't technically have any. Maybe if I had nads I'd think differently. I don't think so though. I'd rather the bull gored anything dangly on my part rather than get fresh with me. Plus, if people are helping, the goring will be over faster.

2. give your kidney to your mother OR your father, assuming both parents need it now and you're the only match?

I can't pick one now, and I probably couldn't pick one if the situation ever arose. If one had a much higher chance of survival, then I'd probably pick that parent. If all things were the same... well... I seriously have no idea. I would have to spend many agonizing hours thinking about it before I chose.

3. be able to blow bubbles in shapes of animals using only your mouth OR be able to squirt water from your tear ducts?

Dude! Blowing animal bubbles would be awesome. What could you do with squirting tear ducts? Get something wet? Ooh. Exciting.

But with animal bubbles blown from my mouth? I would be able to entertain the masses! Children everywhere would adore me! If they started to whine, I'd blow them a monkey bubble. And all would be well in their little world. Because hey, it’s a monkey bubble!

4. eat only crackers for the next 6 months OR eat just one plate full of live, assorted bugs?

I like crackers. I think I'd rather take the crackers option. But 6 months? How big exactly is this plate? And what kind of bugs are on it? And how many? I'd have to actually see the bugs squirming around for me to make the final decision. Because I'm inclined to say I'd eat the bugs, but I know if I saw them all squirmy-like I'd opt for the crackers. Because I like crackers. I could mix it up between the Ritz and the animals and the grahams. I could survive on that. I think.

I could survive, as long as, every time I had the urge to ram my head into the wall if I had to look at another cracker, I would remind myself 'hey, at least it doesn't have a bunch of legs that are still moving.' That should keep me going for the 6 months.