the objects in my apartment are possessed and out to get me.

i am currently number 1 at google for the search phrase: "trying not to pee" blog. woohoo!

yes. i am proud.

i am also being attacked by my keyboard. the little fucker. a few weeks ago i was attacked by an evil bookshelf. i still have the scab on the side of my left foot (right where the frelling big toe joint bone is!) where the shelf sliced me. ouchie. so anyway, i think the keyboard thought that my right foot felt left out. it wanted a matching scab! i'm sitting in big comfy chair at the computer desk with the keyboard on my lap. i got distracted for some reason, reached for something, and the keyboard took a flying leap off my lap and dive bombed my right foot. and landed where my big toe meets the rest of my foot. RIGHT. ON. THE. BONE. ouchie! the keyboard failed in its mission though. it only broke the skin a little bit. that means no big scab. just two dinky red marks that look like fang bites.

at this rate the lamp will be knocking me unconscious in a few months. i know i caught it giving me the evil eye the other day.

i have to get all purtied up now so that i can go out to dinner with the HB. but i'm bleeding! and crippled! and such a whine-y baby! okay. i'm over it. moving on.

i need help. yeah, yeah, i know, you need me to narrow it down for ya. okay fine. i need help with this. i found it while visiting Dave Barry's blog. and its driving me batty! i think i've found every item except for one. and there are a few items i can't figure out how to use! i found one item, the battery i think it was, that was difficult to find. go me! but where's the last one? AND WHY CAN'T I GET OUT OF THE ROOM????? i'm going to try it again tomorrow. and oh yes, I WILL CONQUER IT!

but in case i don't, your mission dear faithful readers, and all you first timers mysteriously drawn here by a need to find blogs about trying hard not to pee, your mission is to visit this site, find all the items and figure out what the hell to do with them. then you must give me a hint as to where the last item is! because i just know that that one remaining item is the key to everything! its driving me nutty. so any help would be appreciated. :)

okay. that's all the brain wants to leak out at this moment. so this is ms. limpy, signing off.