Will I ever get any work done today? Magic 8 Ball says: OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD

Oh, well, in that case... I'll just go and check out my NYPost horoscope again today :)

Venus, your ruler, is once again the most important planet in the heavens, but because it now aspects Saturn, planet of restriction, you are advised to be extra careful today. That applies to all areas of your life, but especially to your work and your health. Don't let yourself be persuaded to do something that might result in some kind of injury.

Well shit. There go my plans!

Loon's Things To Be Persuaded To Do Today List

1:00 PM - Lunch - drive to Mc Donald's blindfolded

(Best not be persuaded by the smell of fellow workers French fries. Can cause injury to arteries.)

1:37 PM - Work - run reports, wheedle down stack of paper work, organize handouts

(Serious paper cut issue here. Best to stay away from that accident waiting to happen.)

3:00 PM - Gym - run on wet, super slippery pool deck

(Very dangerous activity. I've done this several times. And fallen several times. And have the scars to prove it.)

4:30 PM - Find minefield - ride unicycle through it

(Probably shouldn't be persuaded to ride unicycle. Seat would be most uncomfortable. Could cause serious butt injury.)

6:00 PM - Meet with friends at bridge. Jump off when they do

(Might result in injury, but at least wouldn't have to hear "So if your friends jumped off a bridge would you jump too?" from anyone because they'd already know the answer.)

7:08 PM - Dog Kennel - bite an old, cranky, ornery pit bull with nothing to live for

(Shouldn't be biting anything today I guess. Even if ornery dog really, really deserves it.)

8:30 PM - Mental hospital - Run into mental hospital during dinner, stand on table and shout "The self-replicating ideas are conspiring to enslave our minds!" *

(Dangerous. Might get self committed. Can't imagine the food being very yummy.)

9:00 PM - Kinky Kitty's House of Pain - meet with Rambone

(I can kiss that paddling session goodbye. Wouldn't want to get persuaded into doing that. Might get a splinter.)

11:17 PM - Scary biker bar - pick fight with ugly biker dude with numerous scars, scrapes and bruises on his knuckles.

(Yep. Might result in some kind of injury. Guess I can stop thinking up Dumb Biker jokes.)