Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Its got groove, its got meaning.

This morning, while my former office buddies Sal and Zack were upstairs hangin' round da cube, shootin' da office shit, Cute Perky Girl comes in to work and steps into her office, which is the office next to the one directly in front of me. And she says, in her cute little perky voice, "Lisa! What's the word?!"

And I think, Oh crap. Now I have to think of something snappy to say.

The pressure was on.

My first thought (after the 'oh crap' thought that is) was to say mockingbird. You know, as in 'what's the word, mockingbird?' Yeah. I know that's dumb. Luckily, my Higher Reasoning Skills realized this before I had the chance to vocalize it. They (the H.R.S. hit squad) hit the buzzer, the trap door opened, and that thought quickly fell to That Place Where Stupid Thoughts Go. Some thoughts just don't make the cut, ya know? They ain't got the skills and they gotta get dropped.

But don't worry. I recycle! Most of the reject thoughts find nice warm fuzzy homes eventually.

While it worked that time, my brain buzzer is often on the fritz. Which is something you might have picked up on if you've been reading this blog for awhile now. :)

So anyways...

First thought discarded, I racked my brain for another reply. And remembered the song I heard on the radio during yesterday's commute home. The song that I couldn't help singing along to at the top of my lungs.

"Grease!" I say, doing an incredibly dorky finger-as-a-gun pointing move that I swear I've never done before in my ENTIRE life. I've done some dorky way-to-go thumbs up moves before (handy, mildly embarrassing, and sometimes uncontrollable substitutes for when my brain farts) but never have I flashed the 'hey look my hand and fingers look like a gun bang bang I'm so snazzy' finger thing. Gack!

"Grease is the word!" I said. And felt so proud of my snappy answer.

I am woman genius. Here me roar intellectually.

CP Girl laughed and smiled and settled in at her desk. While that smile said, 'Ha! You're so funny!' the laugh told a different story. I recognized that laugh. I know that laugh. It was the laugh of a cute popular girl as she's thinking 'you are such a moron.' I can decipher Popular Girl code. You see, there's this certain frequency the laugh is at when they are over compensating for their burning jealousy of me and my coolness and my snappy dialoging abilities. I know this, and I try not to hold it against them.

Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure if her laugh was that kind of laugh. It sounded close, but it might have been distorted from the static in my brain due to the H.R.S. hit squad yelling at the stupid buzzer for not working. You know, for the whole 'grease' plus finger pointing combo.


Can I just say, for the record, that I love Veronica Mars. She's my snappy dialogue idol.

So anyways...

As we're all having a chuckle at my 'grease is the word' answer, Zack says to me, "Did you know French fries originated in Greece."

And I thought, Really? How interesting.

But out loud I said, in a very sweet adorable way, "Did you know that I don't care?" Well, he asked for it! He'd been making faces at me all morning!

Zack said something, then Sal said something, and I'm pretty sure at least a full minute passed before I got it.

French fries originated in Greece grease.

Oh ha ha ha Mr. Funny Pants.

My delayed laughter made him roll his eyes at me. At me? Pfshaw!

I would have called him on it, but my Higher Reasoning Skills were preoccupied with trying to fix the Stupid Thought Reject Buzzer Button. I'm sure I'll think of an appropriately snappy comeback... oh, say... three days from now.


  1. I love veronica mars! that show rocks. i don't know what show is on opposite of it, that people watch instead, but they are wrong. unless it's scrubs, in which case, i understand the conflict.

  2. i know The Amazing Race is on at the same time, because i tivo both. so i'd understand that conflict, as well as the Scrubs conflict. but if i could only watch one, Veronica Mars would win. because she kicks ass!