Monday, April 18, 2005

Mondays blow!

I hate being sick. Being nothing but a booger factory. It's awful.

And awfully messy.


I don't want to blow my nose here at work. I'm doing it because I don't have a choice, but I don't like it. I hate blowing my nose in front of people. Especially when I've got Gooey Monster Mega Boogers. I remember blowing my nose, as quietly as possible, in front of a friend once, in the seventh grade, at the table in the very back of English class. And my friend says, very loudly so that the kids in the back two rows hear and turn around to look, 'Ewwwww! Boogers!!!!'


Well, not really. Just a little embarrassing. And the guy was still my friend afterwards. I didn't beat him over the head with my text book. But I imagined it. Oh yes, I imagined it good.

Booger blowing is gross, and I really don't like doing it in front of people. I'll do it in front of family. And the HB. And I subjected my best friend to a couple days of non stop booger blowing noise this past weekend. But I'm just not comfortable sharing the gross noise with anyone else.

But not blowing my nose here at work is not an option. Because the snot is coming out, whether I force it out or not. Sound the alarm! I've got drippage!

I tried running to the bathroom earlier to blow my nose, but the bathroom walls are like gigantic amplifiers. My snot sounded ten times louder than normal! Eek! And I can't blow my nose here at my desk because there's no way to do it in a nice, quite, lady-like manner. I could run outside, but there are stairs involved, and stairs are evil and I know they're just looking for a chance to trip my up. Or down. Running down the stairs on my way outside, distracted by a drippy nose, is the opportunity I know they're waiting for. (I have a not-so-pleasant history with stairs. They don't like me. Never have, never will. Bastards!)

I have to think of something though because sitting here dabbing at my already-red nose is not working for me.

See, that's the problem right there. I have to think! Gah! I've got too much work to do today. I don't have time to think!

I'll have to do some covert nose blowing. Flush all the toilets in the bathroom then blow my nose. Yeah, that's a plan!

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